stream 3
the mind behind the struggle.
reformation vs. the dark-ages.
confronting dark forces.
reformation vs. the dark-ages.
confronting dark forces.
posted by Arise! at 6:04 PM
this is were ret's connect.
posted by Arise! at 6:04 PM
31 Comments:
v11-10-06 2pm post at re-chat.blogspot.com - stream 3
post at http://www.xanga.com/bleeding_anXiety
bible verse:
it is the gift of god, not works, or people will boast.
ephesians 2:8,9
hello, you left this comment on my site:
please help...i don't know how to help myself...and if i can't stop the cutting...then i can't be saved?
this is my answer:
J-SUS saves!
you do not.
-
you are not saved by doooooing good.
you are saved because -HE- did good.
-
the work HE did on the cross.
was to pay,
for all the bad things you do.
long before you could even do bad.
HE KNEW !
and asked God if he could pay to have you.
He paid by giving his life.
GOd said, thats enuff. you dont have to pay anymore.
I will let her go, because J-SUS died,
and J-SUS paid it full.
-
you can stop reading now,
that is my answer.
i hope you tell\call
some church or pastor (baptist?)
to find you some help,
for you. they see people all the time.
i dont.
they will tell you do this do that.
but remember, no drugs.
none of that (this will help you) talk.
tell them it gives you bad reactions.
that will keep them puzzled
till you can find someone who wont
force drugs on you.
if you take any kind at all
find people who dont.
show them www.ret-water.blogspot.com
i posted a very scary post about drugs.
no body will tell you its a good idea
after reading that.
Anywayzzzzz
i still want to keep talking to you
so listen on if you want:
J-SUS did more than pay for my faults.
HE is the only one that can change your heart,
and buy you with his blood.
-
some people already know all that,
but still dont ask\trust him to do it.
-
I dont know why they dont, just, do it now.
i guess no one told them too.
-
The gift is all paid for and wrapped up,
and they can take it for free.
but one problem,
they can choose not to take it, (no thanks)
now what do you do?
get mad and throw it in their face ?
-
i know you think that is silly,
who wood be so stupid not to take it ?
-
its easy.
-
they dont trust it.
-
they look at what J-Sus did and say:
? how can HE take away
all the bad things i have done?
bible verse:
the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin. 1.john 1:9
there is alot more verses, you will find them.
-
then there is the other problem:
J-Sus Saves!
but you must help too.
more lies:
adding things to be saved: get baptised, pray alot
adding things to stay saved: go to church, bee good.
its like saying: you doNT trust J-Sus to save you.
its like saying:
I TRUST him just a little bit,
but Im still working on MY-PART.
ok,
um,
you either Trust someone or you dont,
whats this 'little-bit' sposed to mean?
and what does 'MY-PART' sposed to meen?
it meens J-SuS saves! but i do too ! (very wrong)
but i must have to do somthing !
yes, TRUST him.
see bible verse: Acts 16:30
is that so hard? - yes !
we want to think we helped.
we didnt,
He had to pay our way,
all alone.
no body came to help him.
-
baptism, go to church, dont get drunk, dont cut,
keep the ten commandments, all very good things.
but look, we are not very good. so J-sus came.
i hope you do good, cuz good is good and healthy.
but when you do good things cuz you want to make
somthing so nice it will save you better than J-sus can.
well, it wont work.
You ARE trying to make your own way: john 14:6
its more like making an idol to worship.
a false hope.
place your hope in him, not you.
do you think HE is good enuff?
duh, yes, HE is perfect. Holy. and never sinned.
and gave just what we needed.
-
Next problem:
I have trusted him and him only to save me,
but i keep doing wrong things.
answer:
If you do trust him, you are his.
but remember, he bought You, you are still You,
you are the one who is not good ALL the time.
and your in-love with someone who IS
good -ALL- the time.
-how sad-
It will always be this way till the day J-sus
completly destroys all bad and sin. forever.
and it hurts worse cuz you dont want to do things
you know he dont like.
but again, you still have him.
Your strength, your hope,
your saver-r, and he is a good reason
why you should say NO,
to bad things.
more and more.
- weeehw
- my finger is tired.
- i know you still want to get help in other ways
and i know god will open somthing. a phone-book ?
- i have told you everything I trust with all my heart.
i hope it makes you see how kind HE is.
i hope you choose to trust him too.
i do. HE is all i got left.
you have reminded me of somthing very important:
J-sus loves me.
now i feel like im worth somthing again.
but this meens other people
are in REAL trouble.
cuz they have the world, but still have
nothing.
-
be sure to tell someone:
J-sus Saves.
-
march 20, 2001
a prayer?
I will try to be shorter:
I trust J-sus as My save-er,
not Mary, baptism, or good behaviour.
-
but yeah. i still feel dum when i do bad things.
so when its over I come back to the one who loves me.
Father forgive me, for J-sus sake.
pray for me.
I trust your blood for these new mistakes i made.
I trust also that, you havve heard this cry, erased it.
and will in power, gide what i do and think about next.
-
cuz you want too.
-
In you O Lord do i put my Trust.
again.
-
this is so strange,
i can open my heart to you,
and tell you what i think
when confronting evil,
you hear what goes on inside me.
i could never expect YOU to be so open.
cuz strangers or friends can
tap into your xanga or get vital nfo.
i got it made, no body knows me.
so i can be embarrasing.
and get away with it.
im so lucky.
but only in a very strange way.
-
I dont see
the danger coming:
modern surveilance.
( o you dum fool,
get off the internet
before its to late )
-
v11-10-06
never posted:
You might think of it this way:
some people use the word 'gift'
-
Now wait, when you work hard all day all week,
do you expect the boss to pass out gifts?
No, he will give you what you worked for,
your wages.
That why its so hard for people to accept J-SUS,
they cant believe something so important
could be free.
But if God gave them what they deserved,
well,
you know.
-
I dont think any sane person is going tell God,
Ok - God, Give me what i deserve, i want to get what
i deserve, let me have it !
because we are all sinners.
bible verse: wages of sin is death,
but the 'gift' of god is
eternal life thru J-sus.
-
How clean will J-sus make you ?
JUSTIFIED !
that word meenz this:
just - as - if - I - never - sinned.
-
isnt that beautiful ?
thats what god promises when you accept what J-sus did
for you.
-
He can Now look at you, and see someone so beautiful
you look like you never sinned.
Why?
Cuz them who Trust J-sus have
His payment - on them.
when God sees you
he dosnt see the bad person,
He sees what j-sus did for you,
and so you are protected.
-
He can now call you his Own,
you are bought.
He can now bless you, gide you,
help you, live with you.
When god see's no bad in you.
he can make his home in you.
Make you a place for His things, His musick, His Love.
When god bought you, He got himself a new Room !
a new House, for new things.
this is going to totaly change you (if you let him)
He will search his new house every day and say,
um, i dont like this, i dont like that, this has to be
thrown out, or that has to be fixed, and somthing else
needs to moved over here, i dont like the color of those
walls, or, i dont like carpet in here, or i dont want
those windows left open if your going to let bad stuff
come in here.
sounds alot like being married.
cuz thats what it is.
Christian meenz: christ-in-you,
but most people only play it.
they will dress up like it
to please people around them.
but they would never let J-sus in.
-
-
Here is more:
your not just forgiven,
your payed for.
-
If I broke your Window,
you would forgive me, right?.
well,
that dosnt fix the window !
does it.
-
because of J-sus you can be forgivn AND
payed for, cleaned up white as snow.
-
other excuses:
If it were that easy...
then i can do bad all i want and get away with it.
-
yes, thats what it sounds like,
cuz real gifts are free. (no strings)
but the truth is:
if you are for real, and His.
you wont 'want' to do bad anymore.
you wont 'want' to dis-please him.
your heart is changed.
will you stop doing bad things?
maybe not... maybe less.
but when you do... do bad...
its totaly differnt now,
cuz you know it hurts the one who is with you.
and that hurts like heck!
bible verse: i will never leave you nor forsake you.
(read those words backwards)
you forsake, nor you leave, never will i.
-
see,
this just changes everything.
-
my-zeb.txt - - - - v11-19-06 helpful thoughts come from bez_ssim
Mennonite groups:
ask for the 2006 church-directory,
with it you can find one for any place
in the world.
some young people use it to do just that,
travel by church-hopping.
Its safer anyway. and fun.
finding 'stable-minded' farmers and work
and a chance to choose friends that,
like all friends, will seriously effect you.
-
look around you,
the people in this town are all reenacting
and dont even know it.
acting like those funny folks did in 2006.
so no ones going to argue if you
choose odd clothing and customs,
look at the things they do in san-fransisco!,
so why not pick somthing bold and healthy.
it effects everyone who sees you.
so choose wisely.
and daily.
-
bring food for they
always eat together after church.
(you must be a good example to them).
people from both church-groups have been seen at the
Library. so hey, its getting cold. take some
time to be mused. or give them a chance to find you...
amusing. or irritating, cuz that helps too.
all that im telling you is so new.
but when they do visit,
they come in car-fulls.
yuk, well, I am RET, and
dont see my true need for
somthing so stable yet. yet.
but if my spirit falls down.
atleast i have good people to fall back on.
i hope all this becomes yours too.
i hope good things for you.
No, i hope you go-for-the-things
god wants for you, nothing 'like' it.
do it, even if its not called 'good' by anyone else.
do it.
- -
i know i wait for people who
are not even born yet,
cuz without them, i am not perfect.
just like people from other ages must wait for us.
because without our generation, their story is not
complete.
because this is all His-story.
and understanding it, is not, for anyone to know,
till it is done.
-
Thy will be done in earth,
as it is in Heaven.
-
happiness is a mood, up and down it goes.
joy is not. Joy is knowing J-sus Saves.
In whatever mess you face next.
-
Rexford Mt. one in white-hall Mt.
the newest colony 2001 is in ?? Colorado, they dont even
alow electricity in the house.
-
what kind of house do you build each day?
thats the news for your area,
you can ask for 'the Budget' news paper, thats the
way they prefer to communicate. their own paper.
mennonite or German-Baptist Xanga,
-
I try to tell myself i did not waste all this time
writing to a ?
but if i did, atleast it gave me a chance to review
all the important links intrusted to my eyes.
this makes me think of all the links that are in
other people. and our true need of eachother. all of us,
each having parts a group desperatly needs.
and i just keep pushing it away.
cuz you cant trust anyone, at anytime, anymore.
stupid, stupid, stupid.
-
this is why i work on RET.
a way people can be together, without risk of
destroying the group.
-
weeeehw!, that goal must be old as the sun,
but for me, i hope it is a duty.
not a fad... fads pass, needs dont.
feel like it or not.
do what your sposed to do.
cuz doing nothing, will
bring more doom.
-
- keep up the work set befor you, even if its just
showing others that their is only joy in J-sus,
the song says:
'there is only one thing thats needful, only one thing
you will never loose.
thats J-sus himself, what j-sus can do, not you.'
-
-no end-
- no matter what group you get into,
or how you see them build their house each day,
- there are very few that have j-sus in them.
maybe two in a church, ten in a city.
thats a scary thought.
J-sus is no relgion, (but i hope the relign or group you
choos is where you feel you can serve him best)
he is a person, by him this
world was made. by him, it will finish.
by him, all that believe, are forgiven all faults.
i meen all faults .
im sorry, i hate-hate to see the word J-sus or people
writhing relegious weerd stuff. ( like i just did )
but in the end...
we all reach for somthing we trust. and talk about it.
i think god sees that. and writes it in a record-book
of
them who do think on his name. - Malachi 3:16
i just wish it didnt come out now.
i am... sorry i... no, i am
just-human.
- but thats a perfect place for him to dwell, !
no angel has that feature.
but am i willing to live in him,
as much as he in me.
-
well, be patient, cuz,
joy is 'always' on time.
-
and if this-world likes you, somthings wrong.
in j-sus we are new creatures, citizens of his kingdom.
and therfore, enemy of all other. if not atleast
hated by all.
-
-no end-
Cutting my anti-drug
cutter4life_420: weblog - photos - videos - audio - profile - reviews - events - subscribe!
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Name: Morgan
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Metro: RED NECKS
Birthday: 4/13/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: writin poems,readin,bein by myself,hangin out with my friends and Angelea ( my mini me)
Expertise: BEIN A BITCH,Bein an even bigger Bitch when some one messes with Angelea
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Saturday, November 04, 2006
Before You Cut
WARNING
Before you make that first cut, remember--
You will enjoy this.
You will find the blood and pain release
addictive.
Even though you think you can make a few tiny cuts
that aren't deep and will heal easily--
They will get deeper.
They will scar.
They will take sometimes months to heal.
And years for the scars to fade.
If you think you can limit the cutting to one area
of your body think again.
It will spread when you run out of skin.
Be prepared to withdraw from others and live in a
constant state of shame.
Even if you are the most honest person ever to
live--
You will find yourself lying to the people you
love.
You will jerk back from your friends when they
touch you as if their hands were dipped in poison.
You will be terrified that they will feel
something under the cloth of your shirt or because
it just plain hurts so much to be touched.
Be prepared to get so out of control you fear your
next cut because you don't know how bad it
will be.
Just wait for 10 cuts to turn into 100.
Be prepared for your entire life to revolve around
thinking about cutting--
Cutting and covering up cutting.
And just wait till that first time you cut
"too deep."
And you freak out because the blood won't
stop...
And you are gasping...
And you feel yourself shaking all over.
You are having a panic attack and you are
terrified but you can't tell anyone.
So you sit there alone...
Praying it will be okay--
Swearing you'll never let it go this far
again...
But you will, and further.
Don't worry, you will learn how to take care
of your cuts so that you can go deeper and deeper
and avoid the ER.
And the better you get at treating your cuts,
The deeper they get.
You will lie to yourself and justify it when you
find youself spending 20, 30, or 50 dollars every
time you go the pharmacy.
You will feel the flutter of your heartbeat
everytime you go to the counter to ring up your
order.
Butterfly strips--
3 or 4 different kinds of dressings...
Betadine...
Antibiotic cream...
Medical tape...
Scar reducers...
You will tap your foot impatiently hoping the line
will just move and no one will stare at you or
wonder why you need all these things.
And at the same time secretly hope someone will
notice--
Someone who is standing in line with an armful of
the same supplies.
Someone who understands--
But of course that never happens.
Medical supplies won't be the only thing you
spend all your money on.
Be prepared to buy a new wardrobe--
Longsleeve shirts in summer colors, bracelets,
wristbands, boots, gloves...
The list goes on and on.
You will start looking at everyone in a different
way.
Scanning their bodies for any signs of SI.
Just hoping that you might meet someone like you
so you don't feel so terribly alone.
You wont even think about it,
As your eyes scan their wrists arms.
Hoping, just hoping they will be like you.
But they are not.
You will see their clean arms and feel terribly
ashamed and alone.
You will start doing a lot of things alone.
You will always have to wash your laundry in
private so no one sees the blood stains on your
clothes and towels.
You will always be cleaning up the blood.
Scrubbing your bathroom floor.
Wiping the blood off your keyboard.
You won't be able to make it through a day
without cutting.
Next thing you know you are in a public bathroom
somewhere breaking open a scab with a sewing
needle that you keep in your wallet for
emergencies.
When you get really desperate,
Anything will be a cutting tool...
Scissors...a car key...a needle...a
paperclip...even a pen.
Doesn't matter what it is if you need to cut
bad enough you will find something.
Say goodbye to things you took for granted.
Like wearing shorts or
sandals...pedicures...sleeveless tops.
A normal summer day at the beach or in a swimming
pool will become a far off memory for you.
Get ready to itch.
Because you will itch and itch.
So much you will look like you have fleas or a
skin disease.
You will become an expert on your body as you
destroy it carefully.
You will dream about cutting.
You will dream about being exposed.
It will haunt you day and night and take over your
life.
You will wish you never made that first cut
-Anonymous
3:22 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it
Monday, May 08, 2006
Have u guys� ever wanted so much but u know that it will never happen. My girl friend and i broke up and now i want to go out with some one� different.but i dont want to hurt them like I did� my ex.i have only cut� two times since my b.day.I would like to stop, but my razor is my bff.I dont fucking know anymore.I LOVE FUCKIN �U JULIE GREER!!!!!
6:23 PM - 10 eprops - 5 comments - email it
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
I fucked up yall.I cut real bad . I have about 200 cuts on my left wrist.I got home today I was really pissed off soo....... I cut.I havent talked to my girlfriend in over a week.i dont know if we are ever together still.we had a sud in one of my classes today and I really needed to talk so i talked to her.I told her about tring to kill myself a few yrs ago when one of by boyfriends told my ex bf that I was a bitch.I dont think i will ever give up cuttin.I can go a few months and then boom it likes i am walkin and the floor ends but i keep walkin.I just truned 17 like 5 days ago.in less then one yr i can move out and tell my mom to fuck off.on my b.day instaid of stayin with me she went out and get drunk off her ass.it made me mad.now if she would have staid home and got drunk I wouldnt have cared bc I could have got drunk with her. Idk� iam out.
5:15 PM - 2 eprops - 3 comments - email it
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
I cut last night one of the ta's a my school knows that I cut and she wanted to look at my wrist but I told her she could look at them later.She told me to day that she will not be at school until next Monday.So if she wants to look at them then I will let her.Things will work out.Ill talk to yall la8er.
5:32 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Hey yall things have been going good .Me and my girlfrined are still going out . I cut the other day but other then that not to� much has been going on.I am going to take a college class this summer over the internet.It is going to be fun.My brother broke up with his girlfrined today.I cant wait to go to school cuz we have teo classes� with each other.If she starte cring to me about him braking out with him I am going to be like shut the hell up . my brother was going out with this gril that is not even 18� and he is 23 and was a kid that is 3.i thinks its funny that they are not with each other any more.o well.Ill talk to yall later.����������������������������������������� *Morgan*
�
EDIT�� Over the weekend i told one of my� best friends that I was bi and she was really cool with it. She said that some times she was thoughts of being with a girl.I was kind of scared� cuz she is one of my frineds that i maet� at church.She said that� she still loved me.Power to the bisexuals in il!!!!!!
8:39 PM - 6 eprops - 3 comments - email it
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(Vanilla) Ice Ice Geeky, too cold...
Ice Ice Geeky... Ice Ice Geeky...
[ _Parent_ ]
- Making Ice Without Electricity
-Posted by _ScuttleMon
vortex-tubes and god:
you havee a strange way of
fixn the problem Mr. D-J scuttleMon
i dont doubt vibration and rythm is the answer,
but not in the musick,
it isnt safe,
the 1950's is when the beat started entering into
the background,
hypnotic, seductive, contemporary,
now its covering all the channels.
putting people into a trance-like state.
it does alot more than tickle the brain,
so im asking you to turn it down.
so is it just musick?,
today i looked one-more-time at the ten commandment's
i had no idea, mankind is fucked!
i thought i knew the ten.
it just gets worse and worse.
i cant even keep the first commandment.
and missing one is what they call... sin.
then we got these muslims... (i do listen to them)
who say i will make it if my good-deeds are more than
my sins.
well,
guess what.
God is holy,
sin can not enter heaven.
not one sin.
thats probly why its called heaven.
anyway,
they got no answer.
sin to a muslim, is somthing that can be covered up.
god says it must be paid for.
action-reaction, you break it, you pay for it.
and guess what muhammids 2nd or 3rd greatest command is?
: kill people for allah.
but jesus 2nd command is this:
love thy neighbor as thyself.
umm... so,
we can-not be talking about the same god here.
it was a nice try.
your name is mike and my name is mike.
but it aint the same person.
did you want me to compare the life-styles of
jesus and muhammid?
no 'culture' ever fucked six-year old girls.
muhammids act was a bit unusual, even for that day.
but when you got a big sword, whos going to disagree?
and the trances he would go into when receiving a
vison were reported to be terrible dog-like cunvulsions
and foaming at the mouth. which is nothing compared to
the record of what he said to his first wife, quote'
i fear that i am being possesed by devils, and men will
think that i am possesed, what should i do.' his wife
( a devout catholic, and twenty years older than he )
said not to worry about it.
well,
i would.
muhammid also said people in heaven have marriages
and god was going to give to him
mary the mother of jesus. (this is all in the koran)
but jesus said people do not marry in heaven,
in the world to come, people will be as the angels.
and judge them.
there are a billion people following this guy,
and they knoe what he said, did, taught,
yet they follow it, because it agrees with mans
sinful mind. should you worry about it?
i would.
-
one more catch:
the koran is gods word, every word of it.
and the koran says the bible
is gods words too.
but muslims say
the bible is corrupted by man.
now...
how come god can keep the koran pure
all this time,
and not the bible?
the koran constantly warns to take heed to the bible.
they also say the apostle-paul
changed what Jesus preached.
paul says jesus is god.
the only god.
muslims dont accept that.
but john, the closest follower of jesus.
says: in the begining, was the word,
and the word was god,
and the word became flesh(jesus) and dwelt among us.
immanuel means: god with us.
-
i got to hear the new release at oraclesofgod.org
psalm_76.mp3
im still trying to piece together what happened to us.
it sounds like adam and eve did not trust god could meet
'all' their needs.
in fact, he was hiding good-things 'from' them.
now what about us,
we are the people adam and eve did not even know,
we are paying for their choices.
and the earth is too.
and who will pay tommorow,
for the choices you make today?
why would god (love) put such a bad tree
in the middle
of
paradise! ?
because and because:
i dont care how good paradise is,
if you cant get out of it,
what is it...?
if they wont let you out,
its called a what....?
its called a 'prison',
not a 'paradise'.
muslims firmly believe,
if you 'dont' follow them,
you should be killed.
you have no choice.
fear can convert a billion people,
but not the heart.
to them, murder is the only way to please god.
but which god?
-
wait, i noticed somthing more.
Musilims dont pray.
thats right, i bet that shocks you.
prayer is when you 'ask' or 'talk' to your god.
muslims repeat a set of words. 'to' god
they are not -trying- to 'talk' to anybody.
the words are to be repeated five times a day.
it is 'part' of 'earning' your way to paradise.
but to us, it looks like
they are.
and if you had to do it five times a day.
i doubt anything you say or do would be
'from the heart' either.
like all relegions it
shows a clean godly life that
everyone wishes to have, and
orderly,
but under it all
is the main point:
jesus didnt buy you paradise,
you got to earn it.
and this belief is satanic.
you can be muslim jew or christian or pagan,
but chances are, you are not sinless, not trusting,
and not moving to paradise when you die.
cuz you were born into this mess,
and no one asked your opinion.
and if you know all this, you probly will never stop
to pray.
pray somthing like this: hey, jesus? i need you.
i know what you did, dying for my sins. i want to be
under your protection and payment now. not just know
about it. i deserve to burn forever in hell. because
sin dosnt enter heaven, and im full of it.
turning to you, meenz turning away from a good life,
and baptism, and good deeds to save me, or weerd things
to help keep me saved. im trusting you instead.
give me a new heart and a new life with you.
i am choosing 'you' to be my saviour,
not mary or good behaviour.
and because of you,
may everthing else change to, even my behaviour.
not to be saved, not to stay saved. but becaue you have
saved, and you want me to look at all things new.
god thank you for forgiving me for christs sake,
not for just covering my faults.
but for nailing them away.
-
I went were i could to practice my tribal rites,
that was before Harry came to town.
when i returned, everyone was sucking blood,
and doing spells.
since it is now the relegion of the public schools.
i have decided to back off. go underground.
No one will remember life before Harry Potter.
and i escaped it by going into the RET.
but the rest of you wont know whats going on.
and i dont have time to point to anything but the best things.
things you need.
but because of what happened while i was gone,
and since it is almost October when alot of kids dissappear
and end up on milk cartons and post-office boards.
i will say one thing about it.
The Harry Potter Movment was well Planned. no one will
escape it. Im happy i got one small voice left.
get out of it.
publice education has officialy become the definition of
child abuse.
-
i wont mention the subject again. getting away from the wave
is more important. strange thing is...
i was reading tablets from 4000 years ago, trying to
figure out what the person was thinking when he wrote
all the strange symbols and animal-man figures.
only to find the same thing in the Potter Books and in
witchcraft websites, the connection has been made,
as it was before the flood in Noahs day, so shall it be
in your time. but with fire, instead of water, and no
memory of the internet will ever be. ever after.
-
- www.theharrypottervideo.com
- posted by deudamiff
-
-
hey, you guys.
NEED this Musick on your site.
i just found it,
so google.com these words:
I-Wayne JAH white-dove dub? rasta-man reggae-music
1990's
titles: ?
Jah by my side
hello hary? krishna baby
work for your money
JAH only
i am a family man
- check dis out.
-
December 01, 2006 3:56 PM
With the bombardment of radio waves, satellite beams, cellphones, WiziWig shite, subliminal everything, the rampant and irresponsible study of molecular natures, and tendancies. Are you sure your cerebellum is processing clearly? (The base of your brain and the top of your spinal column.) Sometimes this may clear up the confusion and the numbness. Sometimes this site is even swollen or hot or even tender. Now feel your hard-drive, how long has your computer been on. When is the last time you cleared out it's P.O.T. This is an invisible plague in 2000 A.D. But definately not permanent.
Escape the reception of large Broadcast stations.
Bring a radio and alot of food and drink. For some this may mean travel time. Time is an invention. Remember that on the way. Disconnect all "un-natural energy sources, yourself included if capable.
Ingest foods and drinks that increase blood flow and oxygen intake. Then conciously increase both, (however your way may be. Please understand that what goes in also comes out.) I always need to process out the shite like aspertame, meat and dairy hormonal- biproducts, and all the ringing of information bits floating around between my neurons.
Peat and Repeat. This shtuff may seem initially over-rated and maybe difficult to understand but pause a moment and you will see it become quite elementary.
Let all data: visual, mental, sensual, spiritual, etc. come and go without judgement. Because when All is said and done good and bad are One. And you can have One without the other. There need not be judgement between the two. It can get simple from here! The only things that matter and have mass is clarity. Unfortunately, sometimes we all need to feel our mortality in order to feel our life. In order to feel. Should you let your heart or your head Rule? "Yes!" is my favorite answer but it can not always be correct. HARDCORE CARTESIAN DUALISM at its finest.
Set the CUTTER down and Slice into your soul. (The real powerhouse of your mitochondria) You will not be disappointed. And the Endorphines and adrenaline and all forms of Euphoric Sensationalism will be at your command. No strings, no expense, All profit.
without Him you can't;
without you He can't
Please be kind and remember that naturally our Mother is not a virgin and our Father is not celebat (for christmas sake I cannot even spell sellabutt so it is a little hard to grasp)... sorry--strange humor and naturally born sin=bad combo
CORRECTION:
Without Him you can not;
without you He will not.
hate1107.txt v11-13-07 12pm, scriptures showing god hates(loved) people.
send to chick,ftl,wmp
this notice is my effort to
ask you to publish a new tract
'smile - God Hates You'
based on the 2007 message:
'john 3:16' - by sturgeon
- attacks the common misuse of
'God Loves You', showing all
the scriptures where God's
love for mankind(the world)
is now past-tense.
eg.loved not love, john 3:16
and is not found after
the cross
- people shood hear this.
having heard god-loves-you
so many times it has taken
another-effect:
eg.what does it matter what
i do, god loves me anyway.
it also deceives people who
think their saved.
it also turns off people who
know 'god loves you' is a
contradiction to their own
activities.
- but worst of all, we may be
turning God off. As the bible
(see Ezekiel) shows His true
attitude, and our true state
before him.
- some are even taking the
next-step, saying god loves
you wither you ever accept
Jesus or not.
this has become my brothers
opinion, and no doubt the
mind-set of many.
saying god is love, but
forgetting god is light, and
will put lost people in hell,
and never think twice about it.
- the message does close on a
happy note, showing what we
are in christ, loved
(present tense)
- i hope you decide to put it
into tract-form made to order.
here are notes i took:
11-11-07 notes of Steve Sturgeon
john 3:16 - dillon montana
is this preacher right or wrong?
mark 7:13,2peter.2:12, jude.10
titus 1:1,1.tim.6:3 false teachers
promote(justify) sin, not godliness.
john 3:16:people say somthing true,
than use it to say somthing false.
'loved' is past-tense, 1john.2:15
who told john to write that?
1.john 2, and 5:19, gal.1:14,2:20
loved: meens...at the cross.
not one verse in the bible says
god loves a sinner, now, today.
'god loves you' is a lie.
a loving father put me in hell?
#1:he's not loving,
#2:he's not your father.
James Milton(tract?): God loves you,
the biggest lie ever told.
god loves the world(completly wrong)
romans 5:8,5 sinners dont have the
holy ghost.
-
eph.5:2 god loved, and died, at
the cross.
dont go telling people'god hates you'
say it to them who hear hear hear
and never see the difference.
1.john.3:16, luke.4:9 god loves, not
that we, but that he loved us...
rev.1:5
billy sunday: the cross, the last
manifestation of gods love for this
world.
d.l.moody:'god loves the worst of
sinners'... is wrong.
if you got a bullit in your head 2day
youd go straight to hell. john.3:18.
not a child of god meenz child of the
devil.
god loves people in hell? no he dosnt.
- experience gods love for the first
time by trusting christ now.
-
see psalms:god has his bow pointed,
except you repent you will all likewise
perish, god sharpening(wetting) his
sword to cut you head off.(see psalm)
god is love john 3:36, but god is
light heb.12:29, esau have i 'HATED'
does god love everybody?
the secound you die you go to hell.
you say 'thats terrible, thats aweful'
it is terrible, it is aweful, thats why
i got saved.
rate reason people got saved, almost
always it was to escape going to hell.
-
cant find one verse AFTER the cross
saying that god loves you. jer.31:3
is speaking to Israel.
mark 21:9..? love your enemies?
yes you can be
weeping for strangers out of pity for
their human-soul, to see them sitting
where you were b4u got saved.
jesus loved sinners, but that was
before the cross. heb.1:9,8 you loved
right and hated iniquity.
rain on just and unjust? god can have
pity on his creation, longsuffering,
and patient mercy, but he dosnt love
them. heb.12:6 till they become sons.
-
god dosnt chastin the world. he
scourgeth(woop) his sons, your life.
other are 'without chastisement' till
hell. for your father is the devil,
your correction is coming, in Hell.
Rev.3:19 those i love(his), not his.
god loved the world and sinners.
kids must be punished, if, you love
them.
-
god hates the sin, but loves the
sinner ( thats a half-truth )
- god wood let you go to Hell,
before He(god) wood do somthing
wrong.
- you put yourself in Hell by
rejecting Christ. not made for
humans, but Hell hath enlardged
itself. Isa.5
- a loaded-question: why wood
a loving father god wood put his
children in a burning Hell?
another loaded-question: did you
stop beating your wife today?
cant say yes(you were) or no
(meenz you still are)
-
psalm 5:5, eph.5,col. Hatest ALL
workers of iniguity. true or false?
psalm 7:11 but i hear 'god loves
everybody'. god-loves-you: tells
sinners they dont need christ, go
to church, nor seek god.
he loves you: is true, only for
the saved.
- deceptive church bill-board with
picture of santa clause and a girl,
under neath were the words: on the
other hand, jesus loves you wither
you bin notty or nice.
cursed be the man who does the
work of the lord deceitfully...
to get more people.
-
(why i want a tract made:) the
party-mentality of people today:
god unconditionaly loves you, wither
you accept Jesus or Not. does he?
psalm 7:11,12 god is angry with the
wicked EVERY day, wet=sharpen. bent
bow-reddy, prepared instruments of
reddy for torture, if your lost,
and you slip on somthing today and
die, you will get hit by his wrath.
acts 9:16 many people get save cuz
they didnt want to go to Hell.
Jude 22 or other reason,james 9:16
-
gods going to bind you and dangle you
over the bottomless fire, and drop you.
psalm 11:5, 26:5 most chuches are full
of fake-conversions, people who 'think'
they are saved.
god HATES the congregation of evil
doers. but David was a man after my
own heart. psalm 139:21, romans 1:
god haters, hate them with perfect
hatred, but weep for their souls.
psalm 2:1 to a sinner, 'god-loves-you'
is a contradiction, god laffs at the
god-haters, gods anger chuckkles at
the god-haters(shaking their fist up
at god),but god sits in a laffing-anger.
cuz he sees that his day is coming.
-
proverbs 1:23 ye (you humans) god puts
you into hell, and wont think twice
about it.
the mocking world of relegious
leaders and radio-stations have their
day, but he who laffs last, laffs best.
- then will they call(in Hell) but i
will not answer them. they despised all
my reproofs, and did not 'choose'
the fear-of-the-lord.
escaping a burning Hell is a good
motive.
-
if i had to get saved again i wood
do it now, not wait for end of message.
proverbs 6:16 HATE 1.john.3:10, rom.5,
colosians 1,matt.12:30,eph.2
god didnt spare the angels that sinned,
he defenatly will not spare you.
take him, bind him hand and foot, cast
him into outer darkness, their shall be
wailing and gnashing of teeth. rom.8:32
,2.thess.2:10-12 heavenly-deception.
2.corinth.13:14 to saints. dont go out
and tell people god-hates-them, only
if you are giving instructions on
how-why to witness, or to folks who
have heard god-loves-you so much they
are missing the issue.
-
john 14:6 you only get to gods love
by jesus,
positive part of this message:
romans 8:39 god love ME, as much as
he loves Christ, the only experience
of Gods Love one can have. john.17:9
ezekiel 18:23,30, god isnt happy to
punish,but to let live. but he does
delight in doing somthing justified,
for righteousness sake, in this
way, god laffs at the wicked.
i.john 3:1 cuz of righteous judgment
he sees coming.
love bestowed on us, thay ye should
be called(nik-named) the sons of god.
now.
god help people who 'think' they got
it settled, and dont.
-
end of message. lets pray.
-
jump1-08.doc - - - - v1-9-07 11am: what to expect in your area, when your town goes ...-BOOM-...
this was E-Z to type,
cuz its happening every-where,
at the family-level,the-personal,
and now...at the city-level. - -
it makes me sick to be way-up
where i can see it happen,
i like to be down-where i can...
do somthing about it.. - -
but down-lo, you forget stuff, you...
can-not see the picture drawing itself...
cuz you are..IN-it. - -
can you keep History from Re-peeting itself?
...no..but you can slow it down.!..that is,
its a historic 'Fact'..lots of people have stoped
self-destruction...and things went well..
for a little while longer... - -
you can at-least make 'yourself' disappear,
yep...the history-books say it...
''the entire city was destroyed''...
but sure-ly a few guys.. or girls..
saw it coming, and got away... i meen,
you-must write that-part of the story in...
but you-know it must be true. - -
- - - -
so..b4 eye come down, or it happens...
eye will tell you what eye see:
...Our-town is living in a-tiny bubble of...
'fake-money'...it has value..4now...but..
over-it stands Tons and Trillions of dollars
of national-debt...and...You got: a time-limit.
...when-ever the creditors want, now, later,
in a big-way, or just one-town-at-a-time...
they can 'POP' thaat-bubble and collect...
they will be-at your door...collect-ing the debt.
- -
they can shut off city-power,water,electric,
it-all belongs to-Them now:non-elected beuro-rats.
go-ahead! shut-yours off! for a month and FEEL it.
else you-can-not-hEar a-word eye say. No warnings..
will sink deep enuff n2 your hed..until it comes,
you must step-out and... feel-the-force yourself.
...coming.
- -
Burn your money -NOW-...torch it, rip it up.
cuz When they come, or power-downs,
you will-NOT want to hold cash...
little papers with empty-promises on them.
- -
you will 'need' pots and pans, jewels, clothes,
somting that has Real-value, somthing you can see,
not imaginary funny-papers, you need
somthing for 'trading' on the Black-Market...
- -
depending on where you are...
they will give you bread for it.. or a bullit
in the head...
- -
the strange thing is...during the 1932 depression...
Amish-people changed very-little from their
day-to-day chores and living...it was recorded
by people who study economics and watch the economy,
but nobody seem-ed to 'L-EAR-N' from it...and...
greedy-folks dont want you too... so...your fucked.
- -
but things are even-worse now, thanks to drugs...
which the amish knew nothing about, till they were
all hooked...and now: hybrid-foods! grown from...
hybrid-seed...the problem:...when a disaster comes..
who-has-got the seeds?...no-one...!
- -
the other problem: if..eye-am..eating hybrids...
where-did all the 'Real' plants and seeds go?
...they didnt!..they rotted into dis-use...
see where man-kind is going...? for the money..
- -
if you can see where this report is going..
i dont NEED to type more... you can safely-see..
that people..will be eating people...and they ARE.
..its called 'Humacant'..its in the candy sold by
certain corporations in CHINA...you know...that
stuff you buy for Easter...
- -
this in-itself leeds you to see that...
friendly food-and-drug corporations will soon be
feeding you, and killing you, for the profit.
as it is...this day...whats in the drink? and
where did it come from?..you asked to late.
- -
by the way...your phone-line is being tapped...
and.. Why...?....
-
hehe hehe...
...for the money.
-
-no end-
LOVEd,LOVEs, is LOVing, will LOVE
(serious attempts at reformation)
vizn1-08.txt - - - - v1-20-08 visions of things to come..global-activity.
skip down to the first 'no-end'
my boy-girl study ended.
(see gendr108.txt)
typing it in was paused
by a massive-vision.
guys 'like' seeing...
the-big-picture..
so they.. get-it...
sometimes.
-
in this one i saw...
just a handful of people
controling the entire-world...
they were calling
bankers to move us now
into the 'next-step.'
-
and using the
world-leaders...presidents.
goveners and other puppet-
movie-actors they had created...
to start local-wars and
get control of more
resources...
-
the Refugee-Camps you see
every-where global were also
prepared by-them...
to move people away from
their resources so they
cood not get there own
water and seed.
-
these camps are not here
to help you survive...
they are here to help you.
die.
-
and they are all over
your area.
-
they control all-Media so
they can show you all the
happy-campers...
but the truth you will not
see.
-
the strange thing is...
few in your town and city
have their own food-water
supplys themselves...
its all trucked=in...
-
like a huge...concentration
camp...that dont need wire,
cuz they got cameras on
every-street-corner.
-
people sleep here.
but no-one 'lives' here...
no gardens, no water-air-wells.
all the supplies are from
out-of-town.
-
and in these death-camps and
public high-schools:
the 'orphans' will be starved.
-
the men with wills-2-live
will be arrested for theft
and other efforts to get to
simple sustainable living.
-
the women will be taken to
courts where they can be
lawfully drained of any
resources they may yet have
or be connected with in
other places,lands, or
relations...using them to
gain power.
-
working in the back-ground
i
seen...low-level jesuits...
low-level:meenz they dont
relly know whay they are
doing, they just 'know' the
money and the girls are good.
-
and email their reports to
keep mid-levels informed.
-
the world (already) will be
devided into ten-zones for
them...by entertainment.
-
and they will plunder those
who serve them and those who
dont...turning us all into
consumer-robots.
-
planting the
'big-city' attitude.
inside us all.
-
the goal: kill 90% of the
world-population, using
fake-health-controls.
this meenz:
you wont hear of a cure for
Aids any-time soon.
-
the ten-zones will each have
a president or king...
who decide to give all they
got to the Pope..
who will become the new
emperor of the World..
the Dictator of Peace...
-
do as the Romans do.?
-
but this new god-of-force
will piss these ten kings
off! and they will hate him
for his one-world-relegion.
and one-world-'democracy'..
(a word he abused to win us)
and all the evil his system
has caused...to man-seed-kind.
-
flushing out all cultures into
non-existance.
-
they will hate him and
they will burn Italy with
fire..blowing it off the map.
-
but the dictator escapes...
to fight another day.
-
in the end...he and all the
souls he traped will
burn forever in Hell..
you are no exception.
-
there will be a few
survivors...
-
but they wont let the world
do-this again.
-
...shit!
-
-
and now i see why wemen dont
look at the big-picture.
-
maybe looking at the-little
things in life...
is the 'very-best'...
when a man can be led...
that way.
-
i was thinking...
www.galeeb.blogspot.com
www.rex-research.com\airwells
www.ic.org www.icdb.org
www.chick.com
www.strawbalecentral.com
www.archinet.org
www.journeytoforever.org?
-
maybe these resorces on how
to live sustainably...
shood be taken to people
in the camps...
-
but its to-late for them...
and the people reeding
this message..cant see
the evil coming..
-
..so they do-nothing
with it..
-
well...i got good news
for you!....
-
:::::::YOUR NEXT::::::
-
-
they came for Iraq...
and i wasnt iraqi.
-
they came for africa..
and i wasnt african.
-
they came for Mexico
and i wasnt mexican.
-
they came for Me...
and there wasnt
anybody to stop them.
-
-
-no end-
-
the thing now is to get
your-own water and seed
sources connections secure.
-
being a good-Lover and
a good Hip-Hop Dancer isnt
going to save-you.
-
i selected those two
cuz...
its the only 'occupation'
my generation is
permited to learn.
-
the schools are duMb-ing
us down, tests are getting
e-z-er.
'fit'ing us into a
system where they can
command-and-control.
-
from cradle-to-grave.
(school-to-work.)
-
absolute.
.no-human-value
.no-seed.
.no-escape.
.
using us to
make
things worse.
-
we welcome you.
to prison-planet.
-
Nature-itself seems to
care-less what we are
doing to each-other.
-
but our-attacks on Her..
are un-forgivable.
-
-no end-
vizn1-08.txt - - - - steps 2 next level:
Keep Water and Seeds! stay at your post.
let others do the works for-you.
time-savers moment-jumpers land-grabers.
skip the steps dude! get past the-slow.
- - -
How:
family, codes, black-outs, votes, orphans.
Family: find many, make-room for self...
make-them need you...enjoy son-ship.(no-sex)
codes:x-code.txt copy. = boy-boy growth!
study=1.collect 2.mix 3.test ,out of town.go.
black-outs: make them need-choose you,
or drive them out, no water, no car, no power.
votes:make them believe thay have a-say,
use it to identify them, use it to make them
feel 'everyone' chose you. or the majority.
orphans: some servants are 'willing'
you dont need to 'make' them..or get them
away from watchers, they just need a place.
give them the places you win.
- - -
i find them in 'homes' 'schools'
and dead out in the fields, starved, and
un-noticed. cuz no-one-carveth for them.
get-people into sustainable practives.
one person leeds 3 others...
hand to the hoe...eye to the row.
-no end-
EVOLUTION!
www.drdino.com will pay..
$ 250,000.00
for the first 'proof'
of evolution.
-
so why is the gov..
pushing 'it' every-where.?
-
all goverments are one,
and belong to one.
the Reason:
the belief that your life
has no purpose...
is critical.
-
it makes killing you...easy.
-
it ultimatly leeds to
NAZI-ISM...the belief in a
supreem-Race, the survival
of the fit-ist.
-
thAT is why it is 'pumped'
into your head, at school,
mags, and media.
-
so you float down-stream
like a dead-fish.
-
so when troops come.
your got an idea who is
shooting at you, and how
they feel about themselves.
-
they think they are a global
'mistake' of evolution.
-
so they Run around
making global-mistakes...
for evolution.
-
...
-
every day..
.
you do more.
-
-no end-
What might computer-woman have to do when computer-bullshit isorisnot an available resource???
Please do-nut answer.
Just question.
ALL i can do to use my hands...
make peace...eye will
No power
No water
water will soak-up
power.
i seen it.
it turns blue!
rainbow-flashes.
not-kidding.
when things spin well
you drink it...
everything spins well.
for you.
oromus, viktor shauberger
wilhelm reich.
masters of making..
water-spin.
whats good for gardens...
is good for space-travel.
nature is what we need.
not electronic gadgegts.
old-ways are telling us..
everything!
look up into the trees!
cus those aint trees!
they tell us how
transport and health
work...against gravity.
keeping you always on
the 'up' side. of health.
love you too!
-
song5-08.txt - - - - v5-21-08, 10am: scripture-songs for camp-reading.copies
review of earlier related:
v?2-00-07: feb.paper-note of many cassetes:wegener(anti-new-world-order) Reggae(JaH-music-1990's?) and strawberry-cartoon(vhs2casset)-notes.
3-3+5-08:strawberry-girl notes attempt to capture cassete on paper.
3-31-08:song-parts of s-girl, see hip_g408.txt or:bery3-08.txt.
v5-18-08, 10pm:oraclesofgod.org and scripturemusic.net songs:
as-found on cd-rw. typed for paper-version printable for all camps..5x?
important for spirit of days given me to re-tribe. places and people for water and seed.
type in 4-15-08 papers=2,kept in 3-08? one-pile method of paper-storage,
where all is stored the-way-it-happened:by date, not subject.
box has list of content, re-listed any-way you want. but not moved.
exceptions are: a box for: incoming mail, smaller mem-notes, diary.
paused at paused
-
spirit of this document:effects it had on me:
oh thank god! for songs they made. cuz of them.
i remember to be happy, thankful, and watchful.
-
results:
method planed for this document:song5-08.txt:
type in 4-15-08 papers, make a small prefix:verses only,
then a large list with start-of-song the help re-mem.
later go back and add key-words that help-you re-mem.
add two songs you made:who is a god:hag, turn to the lord:zeph?
at library: (see lb2do408.txt) type 5x + bery3-08
add more songs? from earlier papers, internet, get
new songs from same authors? boot-flop 4 win95
end.(cut-short,save steps4rets2do, not you)
-
you came home:a1.a2.a3, wanting to repay kindness:a1.a2.a3.
but found they had their fill. so repay by giving to them
who have not, for who nothing was pre-paired:a1.a2.a3.
collect water and seed,
be with them * who do,
set tasks for boys and girls,
make rooms for flocks and birds,
and strangers too.
(st.matthew chapter:25)
( them * may not be mankind )
-end-
there is a war going on...for minds.
evolution:six types, only one: differences within a type.
can be proven, it(truth) is used to get you to accept
the other types:eg.things can evolve from one type to
another type. these lies are costly, not to truth.
its a half-truth, like rat-poison:mostly harmless.
but to souls.
thats why i love scripture songs...
for there are forces fishing for men.
we shood to. minds stayed on gods words.
the cost is everlasting.
satan wants to be god. but that position is taken.
he cant hurt god. but he can hurt the creature made
in gods image. mankind. the deceived. without hope.
and quickly god will end his-story.
his plans for man are very real.
so what on earth are you doing for heavens sakes?
theres a war going on. find somthing you can do.
www.drdino.com creation-science research
-
there is nothing on your records of fruit.
you plant gospel-tract seeds, but dont record results,
responses,do they show others how right-stand with god
is by jesu blood only. how right-step is by him to.
do they speak these things to others? do you?
every sabbath day...keep it. do it. tell someone what
your hope is.
we need to wait for his heart-changes in us, cuz
we arnt able nor willing. but he sure is. and trust
him to be saviour (not our behaviour) and lord (gide).
all my records, yet only this remains...do it.
-
about scripture-songs:
they were the hymn-book of the early church.
in persecution it was a vital link to their world.
in times of peace, when Rome seemed far-away.
they forgot closeness to god, and changed words.
execptions are, and one is 'the Bay Hymns' 1660's
with intent on returning back to scripture.
money and emotion keep new hymns coming.
i will not be the judge. but i see discord.
for we stand on what god speaks.
not emotions that change from soul2soul.
-
begin copy:
4-15-08 scripturemusic.net and oraclesofgod.org: papers one of two:
the miracle is the words of god, spoken, and believed. not emotion, not signs, not faith, but effect: faith in gods words. john6:29
spirit of document: words that bring-to-mind the song, when all you have is this when out camping. see also strawberry-songs 3-31-08, if gods words are light than we Are in a spiritual-battle. words against words, worlds, kings.
prefix: (check for accuracy) xmat5,6?,7,xRev1,ps107,1john14,4?,deu6:4-5Heb,xRev2-4,col3:15-16.2cor4:6,xps93,gal1:3-5grace2u,xRev4:st.jn:mx:5:39+6:48+7:38+8:7+12i-am..th-litof th-wr.brdolif,songs 17-37:2thes2:16+17,xEz28:12-19,ps139:17-18precious are yrth,xRev6,ps5:7+8+12butas4me,xPs.82,ep.1thes2:19,3:12,4:1:ipraythatthe grace..is it not you,john3:8,xRev8:7th seal,jesu:mx?:luke6:35+36+45b(mat5:44):love enemies,xIsa29,john15:5,ep.1pet1:7trial.attrevofj,song#30:xRev9:1-12:5th trump,luke21:36counted worthy,xPs2,ps148:praise all ye,john20:17,xRev9:13-21:6th angl,luk10:41:mx:care=anxi-s,song#37:acts:show unto us the way of salvation.?,xps6:O-lor rbukme-not,songs 38-59:
ps89:15+isa3:1+10:20+30:12+48:2+ho13:13:mx:blesed rthpepl whokno thjoyfl-sond:3x,prov30:5+6,xRev10,ps74:22prv31:9:Arise an pleed,xmark13,jam1:12:blsdisthmanwho-ndrstmp,ps19:14,xRev11:1-14,samuel-ps135:5?:4iknothat..thL.lvt,x:mx:thy-shtd crucify-him,ps21:thKingshljoynthystrng, ep.:mx:?:ltus-not grwry whldngd,song#50:xRev:11:15?-19:7th angl,xpsalm22:Eli Eli Lama,ps?:(rom12:19,le19:18,lu18:3)donot say-ay i..wl repay-evil:2x.wt4thL:2x.anhewlsvu,ps27:10-13:whnmyftr,xRev12:awmn clthd,xPs23:YwYis myshprd.,Job?:ikno.whtsovrgd dth.itshlb4evr-er,ps56!:In gd! iwl,ep:col2:16+17:xm:donotltany1-judg-U..whch R-ashdo.ofthgsthtRcmn:2x..bttbdyischst,substnc,xRev13:666,songs 60-80 of 110: deut5:29(1ch4:9)mx:O-thtihd schnhrt-nme,wl children!,mbro+sis,thy+ol,ps116:15+?+mx:Hw prcs,isa38:19+ez18:31,isa38:17b,41:9ps?:th-livn-man..he shlpras-u.asidothsday:2x,xRev14:144,000, song#64:Isa13:ThDoomofBab,ps126:6+3:He thtgoth,weepeth precious seed,ps9:6-8:o-tho-en-nemy.dstrctnsRcm2nnd,xRev:15?:sevenvials,song#68:xIsa14:3-27:A-nd itshlcm2ps..no feller,song#69:ps18:1-4+31:mx?:i wl love thee oL!,ps130:3+4:if You O,xRev:a mystery.a womn.mystery-baby,xRev15:3b+4:(chant)manifest, song73:ps134behold!,xRev:18???..comotof her,song#75:isa63:1-6:(band)whoisths, song#76:Zech3:7b:If You wl wlk,xRev:19 correct wording:(men-sing darkly:)Allelujah! slva hnr glry b2ourgd (nar:yng-man boldly+slowly:) hehth jdgd thgrt-whor. wchdid corpt-thrthwth,right-of saints+?spirit of prophecy,song#78:ps121:5-8:ThL.isthKepr!,song#79:Rev19:11-16:re-sung,song#80:xRev20:Andisaw anaglcmdnfmhvn1000 years,songs 81-110 of 110:xEx15:1-19:Iwlsing.un2YwY.,ps51:7+john1:29:mx:purgme.wash-me,song#83:xRev21:1-8,song#84:xRev21:1-8,prov.16:18:pride cmthb4,song#86:x2thes2:1-17: aboutthcoming,xRev22:Anhe shwdmea pure river,song#88:xpsalm100:(not aggresive)Makajoyfl,prov16:3:(slowr)co-mit.roll.,song#90:prov14:26,27(in hebrew)fear.children.fountain of life,xEz31:2b-31pharo,song#92: xEz13:(live), xisa26,27,28,53,55,42,xjoel1,2,3,xjohn10,17,15:live,xmatt23,xps6,24,38,8,8,misd:2thes2:17,james1:17-20(woman-singer),xHab3(hrd-rock-music),total:110, my two songs:ho14:turn2thlo-ord!,micah7:18-20who is a god,more songs:
reggae: dont follow babylon...him always wrong. work for a living. i am a family man, i am i am. tin soldier. international panic. hello baby krishna.
other nwo notes found on paper: ???
end of paper two of two 4-15-08 scripture-songs cd-rw notes.
-end of prefix- forthtime wlcm whnthey wilnt 'end-uR'sound-words, but heap2thmselvs 'gides' via itchy(ilikethis-emotional?enchantment?)h-ears.
forthouhst glorifiedthy WORDS above-all-thy-name.
main song-list mem: x:oraclesofgod.org, else is scripturemusic.net
mx:a mixture of scriptures, bible concepts and-or authors own words added.
-start-(check for accuracy:start of song and add key-mem words)
songs 1-16 of 110:
xmat5: and c-n th multitudes, he went up n2 amountain...Happy Are...
xmat6:?
xmat7:judgnot that ye benot judged...whosoever looketh on a woman to lust...
xRev1:(gong)john 2th7chchs...behold he cmth wth clouds!...i...am alpha...
ps107:o that mn wood gv thks, 2thlord4 hisgoodns, 4hiswndrfulwrks 2thchil of
1john14,4?:a savr of th wrld 2x. ...god abides in him..and he in god.
deut6:4-5n heb:lv th...with all thy hrt..soul..might (+these words,teach)
??:th wrds...r pur wrds...7x,
xRev2-4:to th angel ofthe chch n ephusus write... i know thy works
col3:15-16:let the peace..of g rl n yr hrts..2wch..u-r call...anb thk-ful!3x
2cor4:6:g-is-tL..who cmnd th lit!.2shi..wo-hat-shwn nrhrts..2giv th kno.nface
xps93:YwY rainth..tho etrnl..th fluds lft up...YwY on hi is mityr..thn th noi
??:grac2u..anpeace. fngodthfatr..anlorjsuscist..who-gvhmself(echo)4oursin..th
xRev4:After ths i lookd anbhld,adrwsopndnhvn..come up hitr an i wl..4+20 seats,litnz,voices,7lamps,4beasts fl of ey
jn15?:mx:i-am..th-litof th-wr,thr-thtswr2kl andstry ths wmn..1x1they-left..i-am(chorus),i am cm th-u-mi-hv-lif..lif2thful.2x.y-srch-thscrp 4nthmu-thnk..u-must cm2me.
songs 17-37 of 110: (cut time where can)
2ths2:16+17:Now ur lrdjcst hmslf..gvn us..evrlstn.cnsl.thu-grace! cmfrt urhrt
xEz28:12-19:Snofman.tkupalamn agthkingoftyr..thuhstbnEden..prfct.sind. iwil-d
ps?:How PRecious are your thuts(4x)...to me.. ogd,ifishdcntthm..they wd-b
xRev6:and i saw..whnopnd1ofthseels,cm+c.whit-hors,red,blk,pale
??ps:but as4me,iwl cmn2,iwilwrshp nthy,4u-oL.wl-bls th-ri,wth-favr-u...wl sur
xps82:god stndsnthcon othmi he sit nthmid..how..def.they..yerElohee..Arise-og
ep.??:ipraythatthe grace..love..4wht isour hope.whtis our crwn,isit not you..
john3:8:(sounds of wind and chimes)as thwin blows..whr it wishs...an-uhear..thsn...so is evry1tiborn-of
xRev8:?.7th seal..silence in hevn4-half-nhour.(echo)
jesu:but love your enemies..do good..anlend..sons-of..thmo-hi..4heiskind2..th
xIsa.29:Woe-2-Ariel th cty wr davd..add...yet i wil..bro-dwn..spekoutothg..
like smaldst..sdnly..thosb-vistd of YwY..thmulti..as a hngry-mn.sprit-of-stup
woe2thm that seekdeep2hid..reed-this-pleas..he-made-me-not.th-meekshl.lrn-doc
john15:5:iamth-vine..ye ar-th braanches..abide in me..cast4th n withrd,mchfrt
ep.?:that thtring of yr faith..beinmuchmore precsthngold.thoitbtridbyfire.may
song#30:xRev:9:1-12?:the fifth-trumpet sounded:??
ep.?:u-bwachfl..nevrytim..th-u-bcntd..cntdwrthy..2esc..alth thns-ben.ab2occur
xps2:why do th hethn rage,he th sith n th hvn shl laff, thn shl he speakn his
ps148:pr-th-L.frmthevn,prhm angels,sun and moon.stars of lite,watrs abv th hv
john20:17:i am ascended,2yr fatr n my fatr, 2mygod n yr god,pbwu,sosendiu,ret
xRev:9:13-21?:th6th angel sounded:?? a star fall
jesu:mx:martha marth ur anx an trb ab mny thngs, 1th-is-ne 1th-u-nvr-loose.th
came-dwn-dwn crashing..thalwaysdnthsway mkthm feelathm,tmplofgod cmwlkn in..
song#37:show unto us the way of salvation.?
xps6:O-lor rbukme-not nth-angr,hv mrcy,sor-vxd,retrn,iam-wry,mn-eye,dprt!,hrd
songs 38-59:
ps?:blesed rthpepl whokno thjoyfl-sond:3x,theyshl wlk..nthli..+they will know
prv30:5-6:Evrywrdofgdispur,hesashld2tho...donot-add2hiswrds lst he...liar:2x
xRev10:th-lilbook
ps?:Arise an pleed
xMrk13:And as he w..Mas-see..anas he sat..privtly..whn.seenoman de..but take heed2yrslvs..4itisntu..buthHo..btry,abomo.danl..shlb-aff..shrtnd..lo-here..thsun shlb moon..strs shl fall.c-thson...Now:prblofigtree..butoday..takheedwat!
ep?:blsdisthman who-ndrstmp 4whnhe hsbnprvd..heshl re.thcrwnolif..prm.thowho
ps19:14:lethewrds of-my mth, nthmdt-of my hrt:2x be!ac nthy sit oL:2x. my R
xRev11:1-14:anthrws gvnme a Reed lkun2 a Rod..Rise!nmsr thtmpl..i wl gvpw2my2wit..t
samuel-ps135:5?:4iknothat..thL.lvt..nthtRLis..abv..algods:2x
x:mx:thy-shtd crucify-him(mob)..thnailm2thwood..woe2..whotak4c-asrpnt ndisgis
nalofhisry..thrisn aswrthy..2rulthErth4Al-e-trnity.
ps21:thKing shljoynthystrng..howgrtly shl he rejoy:2x,b-tho exal-L n-thy-own-s, sowlwe sng and pra-thy-pwer..thy-pwr.
ep.:mx:?:ltus-not grwry whldngd 4ndo-csnweshl-reep..ifwedo-notlooshrt:2x..
dnt 4ftyrhrt.nomtrwtlif-maybrbg..tho-dft myseem-neer.thoth-outcmsnt-clr.dnlsh
song#50:xRev:11:15?-19:7th angl sounded..kndms oths wrld rbcm..aheshl reign 4evr+evr
xpsalm22:Eli Eli Lama sbthi..far fm hlpn me..bt thou..rfathrs trstd... althey tht seme lafme...but thhe whtkme fmthwomb, bnot frfme4.nn2hlp.mnybls hvcmpsd.EliEli.imprd likwtr..cstlts4mycloths.EliEli.mygdmygd!whyhsthu4sknme?
ps?:donot say-ay i..wl repay-evil:2x.wtonthL:2x anhewilsv-u wtonthL:2x...
ps27:10-13:whnmyftr+mymtr 4skme.thntLwl tkmeup:3x i hdfntd-nles...wait isay..
xRev12:awmn clthd wth thsun..man-chld..grt-rd-drgn 7-10-7 thrd-prt ofth strs
xPs23:YwYis myshprd.ishl nt-wt..he mksme2lidwn..he re..yaytho.You.4evriwldwln
Job?:ikno.whtsovrgd dth.itshlb4evr-er:2x angd.dothit.thtmnshd fearb4 him..
ps56:10:In gd! iwl p-hswrd,In thL!..In gd.ihvptmy-tr..thyvws.iwlrndr.sl-fmdth
ep:?xm:whch R-ashdo.ofthgsthtRcmn:2x..bttbdyischst..thre-lty.thtrth.substanc
xRev13:wh-s lk2thBst wh-s abl2mkwr..40+2mo..alshl wrshp hm whs nams..666
songs 60-80 of 110:
ikings?Jehu:mx:O-thtihd schnhrt-nme..thtiwd-ferU.thtitmi-bwl:2x me+ch.bro+sis.yn+ol...,lrd-u cntak-ths hrtofst:2x makitflsh
ps116:15+?+mx:Hw prcs-nthsit othL..Hw b-nthsit othL.isthbirth..th-rit-s prsth.no1..mrcfl-mn Rtknawy.no1cnsdrth...thyshl-ntrN2rst.rstNthbeds..ech1wlkn
in his uprightness:2x
ps:?:th-livn-man..he shlpras-u.asidothsday:2x.4uhvcast!almysns.bhndyr-baak:2x
thr4iwl-sing mysng.onstg-nstmts al-thdy.omylif.nth-hous-ofthL
xRev14:anilookd anlo aLamstdonthmtZi..144,000.ths.ntdfi.vrgin.flw.fst-fru
song#64:Isa13:ThDoomofBabylon.whchIsa.thsnoAms-didse:
Lft.ihv.tnois.thycm.howlye4thdy.(heb:)A-lee!lee-ki-ko-yom yom-Ywy yo-sho od-no shla-lee, thr4shl alhnds bfa.pains.amazd1at anthr.faces-shb-asflames..Bhld-thdy oYwy cmth,crwl bth..4thstars..moonslnt-shlnt-shine, iwl pnsh thwrl4thr evl,iwl cs2ce tharogancy htyns, iwl mkaman mor-rarthn-fngold..thr4iwlshkth-hvns.nthwrath of Ywy of ho..aninthday-ay ofhs fierc-anger,,(march beat in back ground), it shlb as achs gzl.a shp tht non clects.evry mn2hisown ppl,flee2hs ownland, Evry1tht isfnd shbthrst-thru. thrchldn-also shlb-dashd 2-peices.b4thr-eyes.thr hsses shlbspoild n thr wivs-raped, Medes,thr-bows.eye shl-nt spare-air child-ren.,,And!Babylon!.thglry of thkingdms..shlb aswhn god! ovrthru Sdm+gmora! -end- song splits here into two low voices together, right-voice reads isaiah 13:20-22,while left voice reads isa14:1-2 -end-
ps126:6+3:He thtgoth4th anwpth brn-prcseed...thL.hthdn grt thngs4us.wrofweRgd
ps?:o-tho-en-nemy.dstrctnsRcm2nnd.thohstdstydctys.thrmemorl-isprshd whthm,bt i wl sing prs2 thynm.O-thomosHi...iwl prs theoL:2x
xRev:15?wordscorrect?:seven vial flofodors whchr thprrs ofsaints..anthy sng a nwsng say-ing:thu artwrthy 2takthbook,4thohast Redmdus2gd.bythybldoutofevry tung anat anppl and had made!usun2orgd..kngs+prests..and weshl reign..(bak-ground echos low words of:Holy Holy Holy, Lord gd almighty,whchws,andis,anis2come)
song#68:xIsa14:3-27:A-nd itshlcm2ps nthdywhnYwyshgvthmrst.frmthysrw+frmthyfr.thtthoshlt tkup ths prvrb.agnst thkingofBabyln! ansy:hwhsthOprsrCeasd! thgldncityCee-asd!. Ywyhtbrkn thstfof thwkd..He who.thwhoerth.yea-thfirtree..Hellfrmb.althyshl.lkUs!.thypmp isbrut dwn to Sheol. wrms theycvr thee! How!Rt thufln fmhvn.Lucifr! snofthmr, fr you said..nyr hrt:(agressive tune changes, a lite2darkgreed as luc-speaks,then tune returns to agressiveness of narrator:)Iwil.ascend.Iwl exlt.Iwl sit.Iwl ascend abv thheits ofthclds! iwl be Lik! th Most Hi!(echo.) (voice returns to agressive narrator:)Yet tho slt be brotdwn2Sheeol.theytht seethee.isths thmn? madethwrldas.destryd.opndnot..althkngs..alofthm liinglry.btthurtcstoutofthy grave..thshltntb joindwth thmnburial.csthouhst dstryd thylnd,slainthy ppl..Prpr slgtr 4hschldrn, (voice changed to deep and dark of god, not aggressive young man):I wlriseup agnstthm.and ctoff.i wllmkit a plc4thbitrn,andswepit wththbroom of doom! sworn. i will break!, (youngmans aggressive voice returns to read v26+27:)ths is thprps prps up-on-th-who-erth. and..ths-is-th-hnd-tht-is-strtched out on althenations. For YwY of Hosts hath prpsd it. who shl disnal it. whoshl trnit Bak!(march beat in back-ground ends with an explosion,, as a wall that falls flat.)
song69:ps:?:i wl love thee oL! my rock my salvation hi-tower.my deliverer.
ps130:3+4:if You O Lord kept a recrd..of sin-ins o lord. wh cd stnd:2x. but wth you ther is frgvns...thr4U oL..are.feard.
xRev:a mystery.a womn clothd in prpl an stn on a scrltclrd-beast..th gret whore kings drunk..i wndrd wth great admiration...drunkwth thbloodof saints..
xRev15:3b+4:(chant of mens voices, no music)Grt+Marvls rthy wrks LGAmty.jst+tru rthy wys thoukng of snts. whshl nt frthe oL! whsl nt glrfy thn.4thy jdmrs rmade.Man-ie-fe-es-est.(cave sounding,almost echos)
song73:ps134:(morning sounds,creek,barn-animal sounds:wolf,bird,cow-bell,wind-chimes?)bhold..Bles!thlord! alye srvnts..ofthlord..wchstnd-by-nigt nthhsoftL.lftupyrhnds nthsanctuary! anble-es thL-rd., thL whmad hvn+erth.blesu-frm mt.zion:2x (or two voices starting at slightly different times.same words, singing with a recording of your voice but at another octave and or adding slurs)
xRev:18???...come out of her my ppl thtu recevnotofhr plags.4hrsnshvrechd unthvn. ngdhthrmembrd hrinquities. rewrdhr.2hrdbl.somuchshehath glrfiedhrself and lvd deleciously.shewhosaid..inhrhrt: (mensvoices:)I-sit a queen and-am no-widow.and..shall. see.kno.sorrow! (voice of narratar returns:)utrly brnd
song#75:isa63:1-6:(band)whoisthsthtco-ometh!fmEdom...(1drkrvoice)Ithtspkin-ritnes,mitty2sv.,(band=men answer bak)w4rthoRed nthyaprl? (1dv:)ihvtrdn thwinprs alone..andofthppl thrwsnn (band:)wthme!4iwltrd.fury.,4thday ofvngnc isnmyhrt.anyr ofmyrefmd iscm.,anilkdann2hlp.aniwndrd thttr wsnn2-uphld, aniwltrdwn thppl inmyangr,anmkthmdrnk nmyfury,andiwlbringdwn thrblood 2therth
-end-?
song#76:Zech3:7b:If You wl wlk.nmywys..If You wl kep.mycmmnd..iwllalso letujudge.myhous, And iwl givYou! plcs2wlk..amng-thes! whostnd-heer!
xRev:19 correct wording:(men-sing darkly:)Allelujah! slva hnr glry b2ourgd (nar:yng-man boldly+slowly:) hehth jdgd thgrt-whor. wchdid corpt-thrthwth-herfornications andhth avngd thblood at her ha-a-and.., 4th tstmny of jsu is thspir-rit of prphecy!i swhvnopnd anlo a whthors, ftfl+tru inn ritnes hedth jdg nmakwr.eys wrasflm ofir
song#78:ps121:5-8:ThL.isthKepr! thL.isthshdupon thy-rithnd,thsunshlnt smtthee bydy northmoonbyni,thLshlprsrvthee.frm-all-evlheshlprsvr thysl, thLshlprsrv-thy goingoutnthycmnin..frmthistim4th!+evn4evrmore(2x)
song#79:Rev19:9-12:unknown song, wrong verse?
song#80:xRev20:Andisaw anaglcmdnfmhvn,hvnthkyofthbtmlspt.1000-years,bookoflif
songs 81-110 of 110:
xEx15:1-19:Iwl sing.un2YwY.4heht trimpd glrsly,hrsnridr hthhecstn2thsea:2x?, Yah.ismystrgthnsng.Yaw isamnofwr.pharos chrts hthecstn2ths.thdpths cvrdthm. Yaw thyrithnd.nthgrtnsofthy,thnmy said:(greedy old-man voice:)Iwl prsu.Iwl ovrtak.Iwildvid thspoil(ah-ha-ha)..mylust..destry!thm(band-lafs)..(nar:)You blw withyr wind, thsea cvrd thm.m.(spoken:)theysankasled,(nar:)inthmity watrs. Yah! who islike you. amng thgods? who is likyou!glris inhlns.frflnprss .wrkrofwndrs... v16:stl.(pause?)as a stone. (up-dwn pause,tune slows:)tl yrppl psovr o YwY....dry..inthmdstofthsea...(tune change to litenes and timberal beats:) Sing! un2Ywy.4heht trmphd glr-sly,..hrsnridr hthe cstn2thesea:4x (without words:tune up-dwn ends)
ps51:7+john1:29:mx:purgme.anishlb.whtrthnsnow:2x(goto start2x)..Behld thLam ofgd.whotaks awythsin.ofalthwrld!(2x)(goto Behld2x).heislord. (song repeats here, but purgeme is changed to:wash-me)
song#83:xRev21:1-8;Andisw anw hvn.andanw erth. (spoken by two retrnd voices:)v2,3,4,5,6,7,8(sepearate song?:v9-27 nar:lightly-swung)
song#84:xRev21:1-8 (resung.nar is more clear.bold-swing,paradise 'ahh'voices hmming in the backgrnd)
prov.16:18:pride cmthb4 dstrctin:3x.and a hawty spirtb4afal..pride cmthb4 de.
song#86:x2thes2:1-17:(south-american latin drum-beat in backgrnd,v1+2 is spoken by nar, v3:mens voices keep in tune with it:) let no man deceive you..
(spoken:)v5,6,7,(mens voices:)v8-17 cmfrtyrhrts nevrygd wrdnwrk.
xRev22:Anhe shwdme apurivroflife! clrascrstl.proceeding.. midst.tree.nomorcrs ...iamthRoot anofspngofDvd.(band:)thebrit n morning Star!..(rtrn2nar:)...thgrace of our lordjschrst bwithyou all.amen! (from other rev-chptr:?)Now un2ourgd be glry and wisdom powr and mite 4evr and evr amn, wisdm honr glry n mite b2our gd! 4evr and evramen.(repeats 18x? and fades on last 5x)
song#88:xpsalm100:(not aggresive)Makajoyfl noise un2YwY allyelnds..srvthLwth
prov16:3:(slowr)co-mit yrwrks2thL..anyrthtswilb:2x,wilb esta!blisd:4x.. (song repeats, but co-mit is changed to Roll-ll)
song#90:prov14:26,27(in hebrew)fear.children.fountain of life.
xEz31:2b-31:(v1+2a=spoken:)And it cam2ps nth11thyr.nth3rdmnt.nth1stdyotm...
(band-sung?with precusions at certain verses)Whom art thou liknthygrtness
song#92:xEz13:(live)atwotLcmun2me sayn:Son of man propsy agstthpropts ofisral
(live meens:before an audioence, just nar+gitar in hand, no music-effects)
isa26,27,28,53,55,42,joel1,2,3,john10,17,15:live,matt23,ps6,24,38,8,8
paused
-end-
end-notes found on paper two of two 4-15-08:
they play good-guy bad-guy so you will take sides, its the middle-man,the banker?, that funds problems on both sides, to keep them both directed, for profit. its the boy who got two giants to fight story, again and again.
the true kings dont sit on the thrones, those are a face for them. pawns?
you are living in a military-method money-making banker-controled system, they turn everything into assets benefits and insurance and 'resources', or it dont exits.
american-indians didnt know what paper-money was for, the earth wasnt for sale. how do greedy corporations start, what makes them strong? theft, signatures, people using their products (grows dependence) drug-sorcery.
riches and wealth gathered like the sand, destroying the earth. sick.
they rob you so you will buy protection from them, robbing you. filling your
days with things that just keep you occupied, payd. no real growth.
follow the water, not the money. as for money-followers...water them!
how do they get you to give up your natural libertys (the earth is owned by no man)...simple, they scare you with raids, accidents?, troops, people paid to cause division and riots, strongest voice wins, sheep get scared, they come to an agreement, not knowing that they have consented to more evil.
total-enslavement, the hegelian priciple:1.cause a riot, 2.get them to come to you for help. social-inslavement, cattle-drives, easy to direct people, just make noise in the rite place and the whole flock turns to a new way.
separate from this, by keeping your own water and seeds, and people and places that do...you drive them out...no agreements, dont bribe the gards.
pull them out by doing rite, not 'using' there gifts tools to dis-act-you.
just 'using' local-products. naturaly ignores their own..they fall2dis-use!
no more bankers,drugs,corporations,non-local foods,products. for you ARE re-spond-sible on judgment day for what you did and didnt. with full re-pay.
scripture publishers also sale your nfo, who asked, how much, and where.
i was fingering pages of new geo-maps, watching the scanner pass over parts
of the land that-page delt with. if this is done on paper...what is on you!
-no end-
To the brilliant-righteous:
i say you are, so it is not self. be not afeared.
Satan is a myth that Myth made up.
Equal is not like.
Where does your power lie?
Sometimes the fight is the feed. no?
--
He gave up his successful practice to learn how to be whole-ist-ic.
What does success look like? What is whole?
-
fedm-608.txt - - - - v6-20-08. no-drugs: attempt to break with tradition.
freedom!
this paper is my anti-drug.
Having watched mind-doctors.
make a mess of peoples-lives.
for the sake of money.
i have written simple
steps to freedom:
if you never visited
a mind-doctor.
see that you dont.
avoid exams
and visit-ors.
(.money talks.)
if you do he has
what he needs.
to keep you.
tie your name to a grant.
then use you to suck-out
an income for himself.
--
these little visits to the
'therapist' are almost
'required' where government
efforts focus in on:
de-population.de-humanizing.
under order of U.N. council.
--
it will take trik-ry,
dickery, dodging and bribes.
to get things done.
(.play sick.act stupid.)
one thing i know...
in certain cases...showing
ANY resistance to their
advice can make it worse.
dont show-signs of suspecion.
dont talk-like you know.
dont act-like your thinking.
pretend your on camera
cuz you probly are.
it starts with non-prescriptions,
so many out there? smokes too!
this leads to stronger stuff.
--
having listed all possibilities
as to 'Why' and 'How' they
manage to get you to take
medication...
--
Lets think of ways out!:
1. follow the with-drawl-cycle.
sim2 alcohlic-programs.
AAA-meetings? (.get info.)
may misguide you4pay also.
2.dont change present medications.
just take it as usual.
but each-moonth: take less.
this month take 90%
next month goto 75%
next month 50%
next month 40-30-20-etc.
yet without the
medication-provider knowing.
you are taking-less.
no clues. spit it out.
when they arnt looking.
3.follow your choice to do it.
and not cheat.
till the day the meds come..
and your not there.
you just didnt show-up anymore.
behaviour is self-stablizing.
enuff for you to go home.
but dont tell them it was
cuz you stopd taking meds.
--
the problem i have noticed..
about ALL drug-users..is.
they have
no idea that IT is causing
the problem.
to them, IT.is causing the releif.
please listen: a drug is a drug.
legal or not.
stick with the with-drawel-cycle.
--
Last-resort: do it alone.
but if a naybor or friend
is available...give him\her
your medications, ask them
to help you keep your choice
to follow a with-drawl-cycle.
but dont tell them why or
what you think of the people
providing the medications.
cuz they need the money.
--
--
why did i write this:
everyone wants to know
the story behind the story.
mine is this: endless
visits with cutters and
drug-ee's cawt-up nth-act.
enuff to realize that this
is all no-coin-cidance.
the frequency was to high.
to be natural.
these kids were being
lied-to and druged for
the profit.
the love of money..is the
root of all evol-u-tion.
-
so this is my
declaration of independence.
written not with ink...
but with the life you choose.
--
yes somebody special was
behind my mind in typing
this declaration.
and yes i have floated threw
cyber-space internet and
found enuff clues to know
that this is all to real..
i will only give one
example.
cuz they are endless!
found in a strange location.
clues turn up in odd places.
this one was from
survivalblog.com...a brief
reference was made on
prescription-drugs to carry
in your survival gear...
they mention some very
familiar names.pain-relivers.
etc.(i will not name them.)
then they said: however....
we cannot recommend these
cuz certain reports have
bin coming from Japan
that people using them
have reported...
depressions and suicidal
behaviours from consumers.
--
as for that
'someone special':
she comes
from a history of reported
mental-illness.
but all too-recent!:
all her
emediate-family...
all her friends...
all her naybers..
all died by suicide
isnt that a little...
suspecious?
i guess not.
all i can say is please!
if you see a pattern.
try to do at-leest ONE-thing
different..that the others
did not do.
dont listen to drug-advice.
you are going to NEEd help
in the withdraw-cycle.
if your body freaks out.
you wont be able to
take less per month.
and end up over-doing it
instead.
--best wishes to an amazing
world at waR.
see also chick.com
read the tract:
'this was your life'
-
-no end-
-
hummm..
Aztec,chinese, and gregorian calendars all 'END' on december 21...2012! .
..Ooops!
Millions of Years ago...
never happened.
-His-story-has-a-'The End'
-
www.drdino.com
www.arrivalofthefittest.com
-
this ties in with streem-8 posts
at same date:
nr1.txt - - - - v1-17-09 boy-girl study.
book:title:Discovering the Mind
of a Woman.....by Ken Nair.
this book applies to mates...
to how you treat communites...
and to the trees.
Hi.Maydn!
All you do Now is
find a guy to...'practice'
this with...
(.Hint.) (.Hint.)
Actualy this is 'HIS'
bee-bizz-ness.and not yours...
nor wood eye be 'able'
to type all this...
without you...(sigh)
somthing in her 'smile'
is so fresh and 'hot' it
makes all My.buzz-buzz bee's
.be-BuM-bully.buzzy.4.her.
girl'ish.ness can do that to.
Sir.Loverly Honey-Bear.bee...(.burp.)
I hope i have aplee-zed her...
with gifts lover-ly fit...
for a maiden...prit-ee as you.
I hope Honey-Bear has found
words to make your chest.tite.
and soul-glad to be a female.
may-it touch your heart with 'stings'
of-love.in-my-hunger-ing to
discover the mind of a woman:
(.by Ken Nair.)...
may-it also build-up strong-
'bonds' for your mate to be-cum
worthy of your-love...(kiss)
first post:
see meer1-09.txt - - - - my intro.
last post:
2nar1-09.txt - - - - my comments.
book typed:
nr1.txt - - - - parts marked.
marks:
/ = next paragraphs..
:: = next selection..
(dash) = see this..
(check) = mark this..
(wtd) = keep this..
(ask) = practice this.
(.bla.bla.) = any-other
words in brakets is me.
(.more.)
when you see dots:...
words were skipd.
when you see one-dot.
words were underlined
by my pencil.
example:
Linda said...why didnt you...do this before?...This.is.what i always wanted.
note: the underlined words are: this-is.
(.more.)
when you see '///' it meens
i marked it to look as if
the book was 'shouting' these words
cuz i hear them alot...
it also meens a solution
is about to be revealed.
(.begin.)
use your search-find
feature to jump to parts:
try '::' and '::::' also.
eye already asked jesu to clean me
so he can gide me to what he wants
me in-on this very day.
::::chapter one:::::
A discovery that changed my marriage:
A case of collusion.
I was imbarrassed.
Breakthrough thots.
Radical christlikeness needed.
This could be dangerous!.
No shortcuts.
::::chapter two::::
Men who made the commitment:
Why Wives remain skeptical.
Former football quarterback.
Former Mayor.
Divorced and remarried.
Impossible to live with.
A christian talk-show host.
Get where she is.
::::chapter three::::
Four male prejudices.
we are expected to examine ourselves.
1.WOmen are impossible to understand.
The apostle peter recognized this prejudice.
2.Women are the real problem.
Who had the problem?.
3.Women are inferior to men.
Prejudice reinforced by biblical interpretation.
4.Men are supposed to be the Boss.
::::chapter four::::
Husbands that wives love to love:
A painfully Honest Letter.
Personal Transparency wins back the wife.
Desirable qualities in a man.
1.he can walk in and out of the house
without causing damage.
2.He will open his heart to her.
3.He is sensitive to her and other people.
An emotional paradox.
4.He is thotful enuff to remember the things
important to her - and is creative and
imaginative in doing them.
5.He does things with her - he is inclusive,
not exclusive.
6.He believes they really are One.
Oneness in disciplining children.
Oneness in driving habits.
Oneness in making financial decisions.
Oneness in including God.
::::chapter five::::
Dont tell me im the key to the problem.
Three insights.
Responses illustrating the flesh's defensiveness.
Lets get Real.
Not even the pastors.
::::chapter six::::
How to know if you're the key to the problem:
Woman know when their attitude is wrong.
Improving marriage not the motivation.
Its amazing to watch.
Still not catching on.
A realistic concept.
A wife with unexpected hairloss.
A wife with fainting spells.
A wife with attitudes of spiritual superiority.
A wife who displays a stubborn, strong will.
A wife who is considered domineering.
A wife who appears to lack confidence in the
spirit of god and is unsure of her salvation.
A christian wife who has lost interest in christanity.
A wife who has lost interest in her personal appearance.
A wife who is a poor communicator.
A wife who experiences excessive depression.
A wife who shows symptoms of emotional instability.
::::chapter seven::::
That mysterious, incomprehensible woman.
Problem solving from a male perspective wont do it.
His solutions increase the dilima.
Getting gods perspective.
Discerning my wifes spirit.
Woman sensitive to how they are perceived.
Problems revealing need for sensitivity.
The secret to understanding your wife.
Would you like to become sensitive?.
The litimus test of sensitivity.
Develop a partnership with your wife.
:::(.half-way point of book comes here.):::
pause to celebrate.reflect.apply.it.
::::chapter eight::::
How do i Measure up?.
Its a matter of control.
Timeline of a marriage with an uncaring husband.
Wives attempt to find their own solutions:
1.The no-problems wife.
2.The dying-inside wife.
3.The silent, spiritual wife.
4.The strong-willed wife.
5.The i-guess-im-not-so-bad-off wife.
A wife settling for less.
Taking all the blame?.
Men are accountable.
::::chapter nine::::
A lesson from secretaries-week.
Situations that breed jealousy.
When teasing wounds a wifes spirit.
Jealousy wreaks havoc in family events.
The secure wife.
::::chapter ten::::
The character issue.
Character on display.
A divource court awakening.
A wife's insight can increase
promotion chances.
Men are often blinded to double standards.
Men are often blinded to hypocricy.
Men are often blinded to shifting responsibilities.
Men are often blinded to shifting pressure.
Men are often blinded to wive's family needs.
::::chapter eleven::::
The fine art of listening:
How partnerships work.
Like buisness, like marriage.
Listening and retaining.
Recognizing our emotions.
Indicators of unsolved communication problems:
1.The same arguments resurface.
2.Faults or character-flaws are brot up repetedly.
3.They cannot agree on priorities, including those
related to work.
4.They dont agree on how to manage the children.
5.Persistent, offensive personal habits.
6.The sexual relationship is not satisfying.
Harmony comes in many forms.
A call to peacemaking.
::::chapter twelve::::
Getting our hearts together.
A vested interest.
A woman's unique ability to think ahead.
THe reason behind the request.
The reason for all those questions.
A matter of visualization.
A case of wrong expectations.
An honest admission.
A matter of seeing into the heart.
Attitudes most important.
Conveying convictions.
::::chapter thirteen::::
Im just weird.
An attitude and desire check.
Getting in focus.
A higher standard needed.
Women do not have a sex drive.
The difference is real.
The difference in preconceived notions.
Increase desire?.
::::chapter fourteen::::
Impact on other relationships.
Improced in-law relationship.
In the office.
In proffesional life.
In education.
::::chapter fifteen::::
The acid test of commitment to christlikeness.
Life is full of tests.
Testing has practicale purposes.
Prequalified in the home.
Testing for a servant attitude.
The test of keeping your wife encouraged.
An unbiblical cop-out.
Dont give-up to soon.
Our goal as husbands.
Testimonies about commitment.
Why wait?.
about author...
(.next comment.)
book starts here:
::::chapter one:::::
::A discovery that changed my marriage:
believed.that.i.lovd my wife...her role was.to.make.life beneficial to me../..weary ...and redy..my.wife was supposed to be there...always/...i thot i was an excellent...inspit of.my.selfishnes..some.thot.we...a model.. /..(.ask!.)i didnt.ask..lord.what he thot..ask.nancy...so.i.assumed../..was a pardy of what god..wantd...it was.based.on misconceptions passd down.../lord in his.mercy.saw fit to shake me../..three.major...concepts...totaly.changed.
::A case of collusion:
..god set out..how.i was behaving...built...wall...resulted.from.collusion...how it happened: /invited me to join.../nancy not excited../got earful from my very distressed wife...she.refused.to be swayed...
::I was embarrassed:
.how.can my wife emba me like this?...going to make me look bad/ my biz was more important/ didnt occur to me god ...thrw her.../made her resistant./i became more angry...broke.threw my anger...hit very startling thots.
::Breakthrough thots:
first..reminded.me.my bitrness resentmnt came from having to stay-home with family...insted of with strangers..then.reminded me those thots exactly opposite how i should be reacting/ searching.my.spirit..recognized..i didnt 'reely' want to put family first...wasnt seeking wifes needs...realized..didnt know how..to love wife.or.any.one.else..(check)../how cood i be spirit-leader..if not sensitive to my wifes spirit..what is a spirit leader? /...that moment was first step..(die to self..gods law fulfilled..)./askd god change.my.focus..pleaded for three things..(birth of beauty..) (check)(check)(check) 1.that god wood help me lern.HOW.to.MEET.the needs of my wife...understand her mind..her way of thinking..her innermost feelings. (howto) 2.how to love so she wood.experience.more than just hear 'i love you'..as gods rep.i wanted to have her exp gods-love threw me. bless her heart threw me..from her frame of reference.(same words..other meening...all people.)..(how to).3.be spirit leader of home...my spirit becom sensitive...aware of his spirit leading my spirit./ letting my wife know the desires....(year later she said:)he had no evidence of anger that he 'had' to do it...major change...attitudes..result.of.that.experience..(check)
::Radical christlikness needed:
radical nature of.the.three.priciples..(see previous)..became foundation stones..of ministry to men..ever since.../..(the inn's).become christlike in sensitivity to wives..in loving them as christ the church.../..didnt find anyone rigourusly applying these principles...insted..the traditional teaching...wife to be submissive to husband...no matter what...had bin easy for me/..didnt recognize the full signif of Ephesians.5:25-27..what it meens...as.christ.loved.the church...begin to.discover.the.minds.and.spirits.of our wives...that.recognition totaly changed how i respond to my wife.(check.)
::This could be dangerous:
.One.of my experiences may help understand../..(.you can do it...but it wont be comfortable.) goodnews..badnews..goodnews:(if you apply)this book..reap (.SEVEN.)benefits:peace in home...unbelivable communication skills...richer love-life...more spirit/emotion balanced kids...better relationships at workplace...your children will have better relationships.(.avoid pitfalls you experienced.)...god bless in many more ways cuz of obedience to dying to self.
::no short-cuts:
..(self)..flesh...to.stay.in control.../Discovery siminars..most men admit..hearing information never herd before..didnt know.HOW.to practice..
but only 5% asked help to be more../.training.../..range from typical to hi-conflict marriages...tho he.knew...almost killed before serious about .affecting.change...all.500 who let themselves be disciplined regained their wives love and loyalty...some wonderful re-marriage ceremonies..(check)
(intro).in this book you will discover the woman...the price..dying to self..to follow christ in obedience to His Word..turn to chp.2.to start the ride of your life.
::::chapter two::::
::Men who made the commitment:
...(with)christness..worth.the.cost...men want.results..(quicker is not always better)...for all men i disciplined..change comes slowly./add skeptisism of wives...double pressure...understand himself and what god desires...wife...say to herself'It'll never last, he will revert'...
::why wives remain skeptical:
1.(check).she.senses.they are coming out of his head, not his heart..(shout) eg:you havnt changed..he says:i never helped with dishes before..she.says:im not impressed...he says:thats what i get for my efforts?..she says:See, your.attitude.is proof it only went to your head, not your heart...he says: hang it on your ear, im not going to try anymore.../..there is.her.'proof' she was right....his motive was to impress her..not that he 'wanted' to change his whole.life...(mind.vs.emo.)../..i help them see wife's scepticism is healthy and god-given..how else wood he discover his wrong-motivation../he who hangs in for long-term...will convince his wife...(note.) see 'timeline of change' the pattern i see repeated again and again as men.get. serious.../you say hold it...i moved heaven and earth.to.keep.our love alive...it didnt..why should.your.approach work?...
::Former Football quarterback:
../very hostile about and in his marriage...(self must die.) his (self)flesh took over and things got worse..( i 'dont' want to change.) /.true self gets exposed...proved his commitment..didnt quit..today he is reaping the benefits..better than ever imagined.
::Former mayor:
as he talked about his life..why does this guys story sound so familiar...shot by his wife..(ask).wood you like to get yor wife back again? i will do anything...(check).(the answer) ..(check)she demonstated how god can use a wife to reveal a man's need for 'with-christlikenes'...he shared some of the demands his wife was making..i began pointing out his bad-attitudes.../.he exploded...(ask).is this your christ-like response?...he subdued..'no it isnt.'..a year later i was invited to a private re-marriage ceremony.
::divorved and remarried:
but you say...my wifes remarried..nothing i can do..or want to do.../.why not gain the joy of a new relationship with jesus../craig said..council you are giving me is almost in all cases opposite of what i have been receiving...wish i herd this stuff before../..(two checks)when he and his-ex come together for their son..insted of telling her how wrong she was...he confessed how wrong he had bin..instead of telling her how to change..he shared how he needed to change...wanted god to help him become the man he had not been for her...admitting how much she had suffered ..(open your heart)../after 3-moons of this..(she)linda said.'why didnt you do this before?..This is what i always wanted.'/most wives dont.want.a divorce..they just want to stop the hurting..they.reason.divorce will accomplish that...when craig changed..he positivly affected Linda..(tell her: eye open to god to change me..not change you.)...you.keep.working.on.you.../.five days after her honeymoon with someone else(.traveling,visiting places she always wanted to go.).linda said:i made a mistake..marriage was annulled..she came back to craig.../ive seen it again and again..if we can get a man to commit to with-christ-ness..his wife will do a total about-face in her attitude...over time...(.ken-nair christ-ness.)
(.my note: your acceptance is of more worth to a woman than many gifts.)
(.no...your 'attitude-of-acceptance',one is in your head,the other shows.)
::impossible to live with:
she is first to admit marriage is a sham...i recommend (.both.) come for counseling.together...(.together if possible.)..Rick was a biker type.They were both drunk when they were married...still.into.drugs../Louise did...talk...'///'Rick dosnt understand me now.icant talk to him.14years.its over.i simply cant handle the mental and emotional abuse i go threw every day of my life with him.'///'.../.i askd.HOW...she said..Rick gives me.LOOKS.that say'your stupid'..he talks to me like im a(un-rule-ee)child.He gives-up on me and goes silent for moons if i dont see(think)things his way...devotes to his job...no time.for.me...no physical relationship...i get.the.feeling.he is always mad at me. He simply will not listen when i try to talk to him...(.note..'hearing' is not 'listening'as-in.affectionatly responding.).../she was.convinced.rick wood not come in for counciling...wood react negative to.my.approach...she asked:he's not a christian...do you have to talk to him about the.god-stuff?.../.i told her..(check) im just going to be me...talk to him about life...we all live in life and need to understand it...that was o.k.with her.../..1.i explained to him.the.innermost(reflective)nature of a woman...2.ways a husband affects his wife...3.how.innermost natures of men-woman are different...the woman having. spiritual.needs.to which men must be sensitive...be a provider...material needs is not enuff...5.Rich immediately.identified.with examples i was using...(.1.2.3.4.5.admit,repent,wash)...(.relationships reflect gods redemption plan.).../..Rick was astonished at how well it all fit his situation...i assured him..ive never met louise in person...only a few miniutes on the phone.../..(.why i left you, why fellowships break,why death..answer is'sin'.).Rick was astounded...god used.that.exchange.to'OPEN' the door to his heart...attentive...wanting to know more.../my plan was to .present.Jesus.to him...start..why.men have relationship problems...(.tools need instructions.) read and implement the manuel.(.holy.bible.).../this is somthing eye can-not do for you...(ask jesus to wash you.)...express your own concerns and your own heart attitudes...reflect.../rick called next day...said'i did it'...wanting him to.learn.how.to.share.his experience. i asked..(ask)you did what?...i put my wife on the phone...i wanted him to.have.the.joy.of sharing what he had...(go tell others.).../Rick began new with his relationship...(check).she said:what have you done to Rick?...i didnt want to have anything to do with him...and here i am falling in love with him again.../.please.REMEMBER...what.made.him.willing...was i cood describe their situation so accurately without having known(.met.) them.
(.to know me is to love me.)...(.tell people what there sin is doing.)
::A christian talk show host:
It seems the.men.most.unwilling...are 'professional'..(already under a title) christians.../.if.i.were.to.perceive you were struggling...wood you open to talk about it?...(eye see you)...he spent hours while i focused on.his.need.of(problem-sites) with-christ-ness.../.having the wife present...is vital...ive.interpreted.to.a man.what.his wife is thinking...how did you know that?...experiences.../..i.go.threw.this.to.prove.to a man it is possible.(.to know her thinking.)..REMINDing.him i never met her before...(check)if i can do this its proof.i.can.teach.you.to.know.../for six moons no apparent progress...eldon was reacting-negatively to the concept that.he.was the solution to the problems...(.humility..die to self.)
::Get where she is: (.continues.)
one night a call from Eldon:ken my wife is on the floor sobbing...it.looks.and.sounds.like.a nervous bread-down...what do i do? (check)...get with her...down with her...if standing up...stand with her...if she is sitting...sit with her...get where she is.../..you say to her.(wtd) you bin the strong one in this family...you carried the spiritual burden of our marriage...no more...im going to be the strong one...you will be able to lean on me...i want to be there for you.../it worked...she was lying on my chest saying she had hope.../..from.that.point.on Eldon became responsive...(your hurting her)...he.agreed.to.meet...even so he was.so.stubborn.that one night a'woman'asked him to put his arm around his wife to comfort her, he refused./i asked..(ASK).wood.you.have ever believed you were.that.stubborn?...he said:No...(self) dosnt want to yield the.need.to surrender.(check)...(point out his attitude.).../becum truely with-christ in our.behaviour.toward.their.wives.(my topic).../the experience of this chapter is that.the.one.biggest.hinderance to men discovering the minds of their wives is their own stubborness...by nature we dont want to be what god wants us to be...in next chapter we will examine what it meens to want gods will for our lives...(via four male problems.)
::::chapter three::::
::four male prejudices:
(prepair.) ...constantly examining..HOW..can improve.../.(but)...when...home..the.spirit.of.constant.examination.is taken off...(check).not.seeing.the.family.as.a.job.../.mans insticts tell him home is his castle...without anyone having.any.expectations of him...especially his wife...only in gross-crisis will he make effort to move barriers hindering a smooth-running-home...who err thinking 'that-is' a smooth-running-relationship.
::We are expected to examine ourselves.
..we.get.evaluated regularly at job...at home by god.Jer.17:10...Examine yourselves.2.Cor.13:5...to.four.commonly.held...to see.if.we.are.reflecting any of these attitudes in our relations with women...many convinced as normal...else their spirits needs will not be cared for as intended...they will.uncontrolably.build.up resentments that may.explode.unexpectedly.../..(check) self-examination will disturb you...(warning) just as examinations at work result in lay-offs...you will confront laying-aside many attitudes...so pray.psalm.139:23-24.../god who loves us...wants.HIS.best for us...purged.to.gain.the wisdom:proverbs 15:31-32.../wisdom to.accept.reproof to deal four common prejudices.so.acceptable to male-thinking they are deeply-ingrained in our culture...so.much.so that most men initialy disagree.../threatening it can be when my.traditional. ways...patterns...are chalenged.(check).(write identify your own attitude) most have.lived.with negative-patterns...become habitual...like good old friends.../.i challenged the men of previous chapter to live with their wives in.an.understanding.way...grant her honour as a(equal)fellow-heir.1peter3:7...that ment coming to terms with.their.own.forms. of prejudice.(ask)..with new attitudes toward women...enjoing a richer relationship with his Lord...(ask)what.are.these four...what.must.our attitude be.?
::1.WOmen are impossible to understand:
i.grew.up.with.that.attitude.(jokes become attitudes.questions indoctrinate.)
i.carried.that attitude into my marriage...(.and attitudes can become diseases.).../why is the 'mysterious woman'attitude so wide-spread? few challenge it...wives remain nothing more than.physical.beings...(romance calls you to stand-under her.).../.(ask).do you understand your wife? (melt her heart.)...maybe god says your prayers are hindered cuz you wont view your wife from His perspective...you are saying:god straighten out my wife...when you.shood.be.the.one representing him in your wifes life...he cant get her act together till you get yours together...(check)...(ask)i do not see my wife as you do...open my eyes...why my wife has left me...(or is not closer) (clean and gide me)...now god can answer that prayer.
::The apostle peter recognized this prejudice.:
men practice this as a natural-response to life...1.peter3:7live with your wives in an understanding way...basic difference in the way men and women think...(yea.he lusts..she lusts to be lusted at.)...for now..we.use.excuses for not making effort...gods Word overrides...(she wants to be wanted...included in all you do.and think.)../become learners...understand the woman we chooze as our wife...(check).so we wonder why our biz makes improvements...while our relation to our wived deteriorates.
::2.Women are the Real problem:
leadership...able to cure.(via division) our relationship problems...unwillingness to take these steps...bringing.lasting.solutions.../...during seminars (check).men ask:'///'when are you going to get to the 'woman'part?.'///' ...this question reveal who they think the problem is...the strange-behaviour of their wives is the problem...'///'my wife dosnt respect me...eye have needs and she dosnt meet them.'///'.../..why at seminars for women do i not here 'when are you going to get to the men?'.../.at the heart.of.this.difference.is a 'vending machine'mentality...we men feel we are giving...feel wronged cuz not getting back what we expect.../common example of this confused thinking:'///'she says:you dont care about me'...he says:'i put a roof over your head...you sure have alot to learn about greatfulness'...'what nerve! after all ive done.she says i dont care'...becuz he dosnt understand that she is talking about.her.heart.being cared for...he thinks:why am eye trying(typing)so hard? im not getting any appreciation.(sex?)in return!'...'///'.../when a man dosnt get satisfaction from his vending-machine(principly sex,but also the joys of eating and sleeping and maybe a little understanding for his own needs) the first thing he does is 're-act' to the stupid-machine by kicking and hitting it. In a marriage that.abuse.is always.emotional(attitudes??) and all to often physical...he.believes...his actions are warranted...maybe he will get from his investment.../carry this analogy further...maybe he.unknowingly...inserts couterfeit money...it spits it out...he starts kicking the machine instead of evaluating if what he is using is acceptable...It may need a different coin of the realm...just like his wife may need.a.totaly.different.kind.of.input.../.(check).this natural-to-men attitude of self-preservation that avoids self-examination...surfaces...many ways...and of course...its always easier.to.see.it.in.someone.elses.life. /..example...what made Frank hard on Sues faults and totaly overlook his own? (custom) and community wood side with Frank...wife becomes.more.public.in her anger...Frank wood put on his Im-trying-to-stand-up-in-this-burden-god-has-given-me-to-bear look and ask everyone for prayer...unwilling to consider that Frank may be the problem...unconfessed immorality...minimizing franks sin...while condemning her...when it was frank who brot on(emotional neglected)the angry screaming attacks. wood you call this a gross-misjustice? yet that is.not.how.men think. (oh no? emotional-spirit-grief is the true evil, not outword looks and fits and screams.)...(spirit wars.)..(never use anger)..(use patients)
.../see a double standard? Larry violates Gregs wife...Greg takes vengeance...why then was Sue's anger not acceptable?.../.no one automaticly thinks.(check):Wow.for a woman to act like that...there must be somthing wrong with his capacity to provide with-christ leadership.(care of her emotions...not just blocking her reactions...like pain-pills do.)...no!.no.Sue was condemned for her anger...while Greg became champion of justice when his anger exploded at his friend Larry. (dash) men hold wives responsible while they give themselves freedom to not be accountable.
::Who had the problem?:
this tendency is not new...Remember john-8:3-11? ( a command that begs a question.)...(dash)men shrug off their sins by thinking 'she' is the real problem.../women tend to have much more sensitive spirits than men...more tender-hearted...Thus when a wrong in a relationship is committed...the feel more quickly and intensely than a man wood.(check) she is more likely to accept personal responsibility...thats one reason why eye focus on men...Bible clearly makes men responsible for the condition of their marriages...no matter what problems present themselves in the marriage.
::3.Women are inferior to men.:
attitude.is.still.alive...and carried that notion into marriages../nanct wood say '///'you make me feel stupid'...i wood get defensive:dont blame that on me...i honestly didnt believe.(check) i grew up in an orphanage...knew what like to be.made.to.feel.inferior....i reely believed i valued her as a person.../...(check)but god-wanted me to.believe.nancy's.expression.about how eye was making her feel.../you relly think your wife is stupid...thats why i approached her so often with a doubting-attitude...yet everytime she had accused me:you make me feel stupid...i disagreed...i honestly.didnt.know.that i thot of her that way.(clue)...(or impressed that to her.)
::Prejudice Reinforced by Biblical interpretation:
(.paper-print this selection for maydn and me..) is of current misuse...of gen.2:18/...when.i.ask.(ask)...a definition of 'helpmate' and 'helpmeet'...usualy.i.hear:someone who rears children...housekeeps...clothes...dishes...(a help.fit for.)...then i follow with this: to see what god had in mind when he invented women, lets go back to the beginning, god has just finished creating woman and named her 'helper'...were there any children?,houses?,clothes?,dishes? answer:no.no.no.no...than we can eliminate those activites as the purpose behind the title 'helper' or 'help-meet'.../a good question at this point wood be:then what did God meen?.../if god was with adam...how was he alone?.../god forsees the fall,he and adam wood be.seperated...god invented a helper to accomplish his purpose of reestablishing spiritual sensitivity.../our seperation from god was so extensive, we werent left with a clue about.what.godliness is...(check).were it not for the salvation of jesus(washing of his blood)and the indwelling of his spirit.(presence.) we wood have no motivation.in.our.spirit.to.care...still human...spiritualy ignorant...we continue to operate on.our.human instincts...therein lies the need for help. God provided a man with a tangible,.visible.(wow.wow)means of discerning...more sensitive in his spirit to the spirit of god..(.or your self-ish flesh) .../a meens of measuring...you will also be furnishing your wife with leadership that provides an example worth following.(not just the goal...but how you reech those goals.)...(check)Together you can reestablish the spirit-to-spirit relationship with God that was Lost.../to help us.discover.the.difference between the standard male attitudes in our hearts and with-christ-like attitudes.(she can then mate with you soul and body...as she needed...similar to what god wants.)...(your senses open to her feelings.)...(she deepens your 'be'ing).../let me ill...(new sex cult?) pastor said:i.know.what.you.preach.ive red your book...that men shood give their wives.the.freedom.to tell them where they are not with-christ.../i didnt answer...he(the pastor) wasnt there to listen...the others in the room(15 people) were going to.make.up.their minds...id let him convict himself.../women are the source of grief.genesis3:6...(ask)if he.realized.adam was standing rite there watching Eve eat.../Eve was not to blame.Adam was...the command...not to eat...was given to Adam...but god didnt go to Eve...adam was resposible for what happened.../Adams response.(check)was typical of men today.../(check.)..(check.)That scene portrays the nature of men. We don accept responsibility easily at all, especially.in.relationship.to our wives...we dont want to be held responsible for.their.reactions./...if on one side:inferiority of women...the other side:the man as 'the Boss' in the home. thus the 4th male prejudice is that
::Men are supposed to be 'The Boss'.:
The biblical teaching that the wife.is.part.of gods accountability struture.(.when you leeve:tell me where your going.dont just disappear husband.feelings get hurt when you do that.).../the role of.boss.(check)means. the husband can disregard his wifes needs while abundantly taking care of his own.../as you read on...traditional-thinking...is going to be undermined(attacked)...but the (true).spiritual.leadership.of the man is going to be reinforced...(dash).earning.positions of leadership in the home by dying to self.(putting self last, and others first,including the wife.)...this does.not.meen ignoring responsibilities...it meens reevaluating.attitudes.(check)...philipians2:3-4.../when i say:step down...and men say:is that safe?..This.attitude.really reveals how un-biblical we have become: is (humility)necessary for seeking the kingdom of God and his righteous-ness?.../God's.will.its that every man.(check)first remove the beam from his own eye,purging himself...that beam may be.one.of.the.four.prejudices...or all four....attuned...powerful...(not in)words only:James1:22-25(beware).../COntrary to popular notions, most wives do.not.want.to occupy the throne of their marriages.A wife.wants.her husband to be the spiritual leader, but.she.is.designed.by God to feel.secure.only when she'sees'that her husband is.NOT.the final authority in their marriage.(check!)(.check!)...only then can she be confident her marriage will be based on biblical-principles...not.personal.preferences.(fads)selfishly motivated...Rather when he sees that she 'true-ly-feels'that he is prejudice of selfish...he wood be.Willing.to learn what he can do to change...in order to.restore.her.confidence in him.../more important than being the boss...is'Having' the character-traits of Mercy and Justice:Proverbs 20:28.../see how (check)these prejudices have affected us...then determine we will.not.allow.excuses for sin revealed in our lives..../SPECIAL ALERT:if my wifes reproof is gods principle method of testing...where does that leave the.Spirit and the Word.? if your a single-guy...how does gods testing come to you? (elder serves younger...leest is greatest...God uses women to help me.1.2.3.) underlying principles giding me as eye write this book:1.we have the Bible...reinforced by everyone He sends into our lives as a spiritual Mentor...2.God has given us our wives...this book will show why that is and how that works...3.How does God minister to women? discovered as you read this book.../what you thot was a normal marriage...is.Not.at all normal to God.../Take this time to place your desires before the Lord in prayer.Ask (ASK) him to give you motivation to follow...(.baptism pictures our relationship with jesus...and confesses him as Saviour(buried) and Lord(new gide.))...
::::chapter four::::
::Husbands that wives Love to Love:
(Ask)yourself:Have i bin the kind of person my wife has been.able.to love? Ask her:have i bin the kind of person you love to love?.../cuz of the four prejudices...he wont bother...if.he.believes he is right.(mind control).../Most wives.are.desperately trying to love their husbands.(wtd)...(who)dosnt.know.what it meens to open up his heart and let his wife in.(.love to love.love to listen.)...the typical wife thinks her husband is deliberately and.IS.convinced he wont let himself be loved.(wtd) when...has discovered her need to know what is in his heart(and thots) and is concerned...(to be)the kind of man she can truely love, she will be ecstatic.(check)woman forgive almost anything if (he lets her) into their hearts to be loved.../This reality...came...with.renewed.force...when...(man) struggling with severe-immorality...'Recog-nized' he was destroying his family...his children's trust...learning to face himself...recognize...sins were.the.evidence.of the real'HIM'...I.(Ask)ed whether he cood thank God for saving(showing) him...consider...how terrible...if had nowhere to turn for help and forgivness...(to jesu)
::A Painfully Honest Letter:
(write out your faults)...(ASK)what do i do now?...i said:share it with your wife.(i had met with her first to evaluate'her'character first.)'///'I cant, she will hate my guts'///'.../No,i dont think so.(eye responded) she knows (wtd)somthing is keeping you and her from being one...She is...the kind who...who will stand by your side.../as we talked,i discovered.he.didnt.even. think. God cood possibly love him.(.his beliefs.)...i said:i believe God is going to teach you what real-love is through your wife.../he started weeping at the thot...sure.that she couldnt possibly.../with tears flowing freely she said:i have always wanted to do that for him...i have always loved him...i have never'not'loved him...(wtd)but i didnt know.He.did.Not.Know.how to let me into his heart. Now that eye know, it makes my heart go out to him even more...(this is the stuff of a good Romance Novel)...(True-Love Book:Reveal Your Fears.)
::Personal Transparency wins back the wife.:
(pain).(tears).your wifes heart went out to you.because.you opened your heart(needs?)to her.../He was overwelmed.(shock) How could you possibly...?(guys just dont see her values)...(wtd) /...They had bin alienated for nearly a year.'///'hardly talking to eachother,except for meen bitter things...(pain)...that weekend.after.she red his letter...saw his transparency, his brokeness, his willingness to humiliate himself, and his attitude, she opened her heart to him even more.../..(check) these things.(why) let you know how much your wife is commited to you...the time is going to come when your (self)flesh is going to rise...you are going to need(then that commitment to)reflect on...and say:dare eye risk what eye had that weekend for what is presenting itself to me now?.../His vulnerability opened her heart to him, he didnt know he was vulnerable.(note that)or what being-vulnerable was...but(now)he had a living-example...as a point of reference(for)the future...the foundation from which he could spend.Years.building intimacy and richness...(with her).../(the Fear:women ask:)what is he bringing into our home?...AIdS...? trust god:Romans 8:28,His whole.thinking.has.changed.(saul becomes paul) he isnt thinking of meeting his needs cuz of his concern for you.../Men.(wtd)..(listen)women.HAVE.an enormous capacity to love...open...repent...take steps to change...not always as quickly as in above example, for some have.built.up.barriers.of intense dislike...(no trust in god.)...even hatred...But love does break threw the barriers.once. a husband becomes vulnerable.(open.repent.wash)...(the gospel is reflected in marriage too! as in the stars.virgo.king.serpentarius)
::Desirable Qualities In a Man.:
...what...wives look for in their husbands...You may want to mentaly.Tape.Them.on the mirror...cause eye will get-back to these repeatedly threw-out.the.rest.of the book.(check.)(check) A major quality a wife is looking for in her husband is...
(continued on future post)
-
paused
-
nr2.txt - - - - v1-17-09 boy-girl study.
book:title:Discovering the Mind
of a Woman.....by Ken Nair.
SHMD:.skirts.hurts.mating.dreams.
HI.maydn! thanks for letting me under
your skirts...it hurts.!...but i love
hurting my heart on your prit-ee-ness.
for what its doing to me.(feels-great)
mate-ing: Posts,Calls,and Snail-Mail.
i love mate-ing with you. it feeels so...
(yikes)
you are the gurL of my dreams.!!!
and that is good.
and the gurrL of my every-night-dreams.
which... may-not be... so good.
(.burp.)
his boyish.inner.cravings...
to 'know' her.more.deeper...
to search her!...to want her!
to under-stand her mysteries.
HER...girl-lea.ish-ness!. hood?
words.growing.into.
kissies for her Heart...
pull him to go deeper!...
:::and HERE it cums:
continued...(see nr1.txt)
::::chapter four::::
Husbands that wives love to love:
A painfully Honest Letter.
Personal Transparency wins back the wife.
Desirable qualities in a man.
Desirable qualities in a man.
1.he can walk in and out of the house
without causing damage.
2.He will open his heart to her.
3.He is sensitive to her and other people.
An emotional paradox.
4.He is thotful enuff to remember the things
important to her - and is creative and
imaginative in doing them.
5.He does things with her - he is inclusive,
not exclusive.
6.He believes they really are One.
Oneness in disciplining children.
Oneness in driving habits.
Oneness in making financial decisions.
Oneness in including God.
::::chapter five::::
Dont tell me im the key to the problem.
Three insights.
Responses illustrating the flesh's defensiveness.
Lets get Real.
Not even the pastors.
::::chapter six::::
How to know if you're the key to the problem:
Woman know when their attitude is wrong.
Improving marriage not the motivation.
Its amazing to watch.
Still not catching on.
A realistic concept.
A wife with unexpected hairloss.
A wife with fainting spells.
A wife with attitudes of spiritual superiority.
A wife who displays a stubborn, strong will.
A wife who is considered domineering.
A wife who appears to lack confidence in the
spirit of god and is unsure of her salvation.
A christian wife who has lost interest in christanity.
A wife who has lost interest in her personal appearance.
A wife who is a poor communicator.
A wife who experiences excessive depression.
A wife who shows symptoms of emotional instability.
::::chapter seven::::
That mysterious, incomprehensible woman.
Problem solving from a male perspective wont do it.
His solutions increase the dilima.
Getting gods perspective.
Discerning my wifes spirit.
Woman sensitive to how they are perceived.
Problems revealing need for sensitivity.
The secret to understanding your wife.
Would you like to become sensitive?.
The litimus test of sensitivity.
Develop a partnership with your wife.
:::(.half-way point of book comes here.):::
pause to celebrate.reflect.apply.it.
see meer1-09.txt for full list...
book continues...
::1.He can Walk in and Out of the House without Causing Damage:
...alcohol?...wives and children experience damage in ways men.never.think about.(taking 'your'things is Rood to you,eating-ahead is Rood to her.)...( do you heed or do you damage her?)...( heart her feelings.)...clue:(ASK)what do eye usually.do-say.when i come-in.../wife often says:.HE.walks.in.like he's the only person whos done any work. He will say:why is the house always like a pig-sty?.when is supper ready?.can you quiet the kids? wheres the paper? why cant i sit without toys.books.../he aims at the wife,he may stop long enuff to yell at the kids,...dog...hides...could be next.../before you conclude...(ASK).Your.Wife.if you ever have any negative effect on the home.(she is your eyes)...hard for wife to be completely honest...about the negative...but so many tell me...when.i focus on.the.attitudes.a husband conveys from his heart./When.was the last time you made your wife your priority(her emotional-needs)as you entered the house?(check)..hug...kiss...(ASK)how did your day go...concentrate on her answer...when was the last time.she.felt.your heart reach-out to her with a question like:what was the tuffest thing that happened to you Today.../convinced that she is more important than you.(philip.2:3).../that your wife and children.KNOW.that you are thinking of.THEM.(in-attitude of favour.greet,not demeening-questioning spirit).../even if wife dosnt know better...god considers it damaging.WheN.you.are.demanding,critical,selfish,insist on things your way,.Questioning.the housekeeping,cooking,complaining of childrens habits and lifestyle...when...you.demand.respect.../Jesus like that?...2nd quality every wife looks for is...
::2.He will open his heart to Her.:
most men.dont.know.they are Not letting their wives into their heart...you may think you are.By.letting her into your thots...even if she unable to put it into words...your wife.instinctivly.knows.when husband is letting her only into his mind, (check).not his heart. .../Women.SENSE...by attitudes,words,and actions...(example:).One.day...wife said...she did not want to think about (him)meeting.HER.NEEDs.anymore...for years she had.longed.to.know.that her husband needed her(tell her why)...so she was giving-up.../She reported:when i asked'///'How did your day go?'...he wood indifferently,almost resentfully answer'OKAY'.and that was it.End of converstation.../.She.was.sensing:(true or not)an evident lack of interest, an unwillingness to.become.conversational and.include.her.in his day...And.THAT.hurt her.deeply. Simply put he was not letting her into his heart, wither he ment to convey that or not. (mind sinks to heart sinks to soul) (women love to be loved,need to be needed(not rood) lust to be lusted at.)...(fulfilment:but what.IT.meens to her.(check)find out,and fill her.).../at times when he was doing somthing, she wood say:Can eye help you with that? No! i will do it myself...she.Felt.he was telling her:idont need you. He was making her.feel.excluded, and.That.did not let her into his heart. .../all he did was complain,get upset,impatient. He.made.her.feel.as if she cood do nothing right.../inadequate...excluded from his life.(NO.GO!).His attitudes were.killing.her.inside...but he didnt.realize.what he was doing to her. You see,.SHE.KNEW.how much she needed him.(that is,his acceptance of her.was vital to her.).but she cood.only.conclude:he dosnt need me...AND.THAT.made her feel he didnt want her getting into his life and Heart...knowing she had some value...she began looking for.fulfillment.elsewhere.../TRying to stop the hurt caused by insensitive men...many women try tennis,swimming,jogging,bible-study.(as participent or leader),social-groups,clubs,volunteer-services to needy.(check) (one way)
::3.HE is sensitive to her and other people:
a woman loves a man who has tear ducts.../crying is result.of.and emotion...you can.tell.alot of...a persons spirit threw emotions...proverbs 15:13 (visible emotions sink to spirit sink to will and soul.)../Becuz of our insensitivity most men are more adapt to breaking their wifes spirits than creating in them merry hearts...dont realize...cuz we dont understand.OUR.OWN.hearts...WE.Dont.understand what it meenz to.open.(check) one of my tasks is to.HELP.men under-stand their own hearts...emotions.../to realize.HE.HAs.emotions.(check) (check) as i am talking i keep alert for.any.sighns.of emotions...remember the topics...go back and refresh his memmory on what he was talking about.(when eye saw the breif emotion)...he .isnt.Able.to identify them.../so i reflect on.what.emotion. i wood be feeling if i were him and...same situation. I name an emotion...its not clear...i describe another emotion...bewildered he says y-e-a-h.thats there to...i name a few more.(women want to share a feeling:love anger bitter regret.eg.how did that make you feel.)...(tell her im feeling this that.)...(ASK)wood you have.THOT.about.HOW.you were emotionaly affected if eye had not taken you back to topics that stirred one, and asked you to.Identify.Your own emotion?...No.he admits.../(check)Emotions are difficult for most men to register cuz they are 'experienced'for only a few moments. REpeatedly eye have taken men back...as.PART.of a process of 'Validating' emotions...(WTd:) As a man experience his emotions and gives them credibility. He begins to.SEE.their value. He is ignorant of his emotions and therfore ignorant of his wifes. But to get into her heart, to appear sensitive to his wife, he has to value her emotions and honor(praise)them as valid.(see chapter seven:would you like to become sensitive.?)
::An emotional Paradox:
Sharon was tormented by the insensitivity of her husband, MARk.(not real names)...friend devised a plan...show him his insensitivity buy describing a story of a pastor who made nor prep for his expectant wife...Mark was upset...that pastor shood be brot to the director-bord.../All the time Mark was unaware of how stupid his-own insensitivity looked. (watch for stories by women that have to do with 'relationship's...bad...or exciting...they are probly trying to tell you somthing.).../one goal is to help husbands interpret what their wives are saying...improve attitudes and responses...insensitive to devasatations his...were causing.../later helping him examine them...while he was doing them...tho he mentaly saw it...he had hard time...to the idea that anything was wrong with what he was doing(mind.vs.emo.)...many of the actions were,in his mind,typical for men...therefore...acceptable.../Over weeks he had time to observe other husbands(this book):i cant believe...guys say and do...do you think that they relly dont see what they are doing?...i nodded affirmativly...cood i also be blind to ways i am hurting my wife?...are they watching me to? wondering how eye can be so insensitive?...Yes..i nodded sympatheticly...spirit deal...see and understand some of his ways(needs 3rd-person view-point).../It is possible(check)(check)threw the holy spirit and your wifes help to become(not forget) more sensitive to her needs and others.(golden rule)(hart-parts)see how this.can.happen.to.YOU...in a later chapeter. Another 'Q' is...
::4.He is thotful enuff to Remember the things important to Her - And is creative and Imaginitive in doing them.:
your wife comments on somthing(flowers)...next time you pick some for her...she faints...she (Ask)s what are these for? there for you...she faints again...Honest honey,their just for you...wow...i like this new man.../one man (after reeding a book on marriage) sent five surprises home fedx...he got such a Warm reaction he began sending a card home whenever he traveled.../Wives love a man like that...takes worry out.../remember your wifes moments (birthday.anivrsry.gradu) with more than a kiss.../that gets old.you say...NOT.TO.Women.it dosnt...They just love to be remembered by thotful creative(not those words) husbands...a fifth 'Q'women love is...
::5.He does things with Her-He is inclusive.Not Exclusive.
Ever herd'///'We Never do anything Together.'///'?...yes we do...we went to our favorite bla.bla.bla...wife:thats not what i meen.You dont understand.
you explode...muttering 'Women!'.../Most Men (check)dont realize wife wants to be included in every-day things that involve give-and-take from the heart. going to a game or Big event can happen without having an.Inclusive-attitude.that.lets her.into.the.heart...(check)(check)thats why many wives.CAN.be satisfied with taking a long walk with their husbands in the park.(no money)...it involves more than participating in an activity together.(how can eye fill my mate with contentment?)(womwn are club.clan.focused?).../example:i forgot a border for the roses...Nancy suggested the old bricks...Thats a great idea(check)by my enthusiastically acknowledging she had a creative solution...i brot her into my heart...admits i dont have all the ideas...made her feel more confident...now the roses remind me of our 'togetherness'...ive convinced her that she has the freedom to offer suggestions...and i will be receptive...(so her inner-rabbit wont say:im not special...im nothing at all.).../as a man eye was-used to do stuff by myself...so i had to tell nancy.(check):Whenever.you.see.me making decisions that do-not.Include.YOU...wither or not your going to be involved in it, please let me know.(tell me)...if im going to get parts...is there somthing nancy needs...(blindspot:you can not see you!)...even if not angry...you may still reflect it.(words.looks.attitudes.)...self-flesh-ness wants to say:great.now i got to check-in with you now before i do anything...but i know that my non-inclusive-attitude...(identify) (wtd)(check) most of us dont think of women as god-given...worthy to.incluse.in.our.problem-solving processes.revealing un-christ-like attitudes in me...(dont hate growth)...all-tho she may not understand all the complexities of life on the job for you...she 'WANTS' to be included...(check)(check)reasons why you shood:
1.she is negatively affected when the man she loves is hurting...(am i a noosense to you\your parents when eye call you? i dont want to anger people that love me.)
2.She feels accepted when you are open to her ideas...someone not directly involved can see things others can-not.(ASk)
3.She can add prayer-support.(value it)
(wtd:)so let her show her love for you by being there emotionaly and spiritualy...she loves a man who believes god is smart enuff to use her to help him to be more effective...because he is more inclusive. finally a wife loves it when...
::6.He Believes They Really Are One.(she is convinved, not told)
with excitement of wedding...pleasure of honeymoon...few men note requirements of marriage.genesis2:24 coming from god...one flesh...must meen more than sex.../wives know(check)instictivly that there is more to 'Oneness'...and they love to love men that...practive it daily.../We just finished 'inclusive-thinking'...now lets 'inclusive decision-making'...two-halves fused together...unable.to.function.seperately. .../i do not make decisions without 'ME' knowing...since my wife is 'me'too...im not going to make decisions without 'Me' knowing whats going on in my thinking!.../including wives improves their sense of security...refelects in all aspects of intimacy.
::One-ness in deciplining children.:
a wife needs...discipline without ever discussing it with his wife.TELLS.her(intended to or not)that she and her thinking are unimportant to him...she is not able to excercise her god-given differing perspective.
nor help him avoid the spirit of rejection she senses her husband is developing in the children...thus,relationship,intamacy is affected.resentments build-up...that (explode)destroy any sense of one-ness they may have had.
::One-ness in driving habits:
Another type of alienation. speeds that make her feel threatened. Again.the.sense.of oneness is not funtional because he did not include her sensitivities in the decisions about his driving conduct.
::One-ness in finacial decesions:
god does not exclude wives.dont feel the freedom to express...often wait till they.explode.with comments like'///'What am i supposed to do if anything ever happend to you.?'///'Risk-taker...i was scared( of the dollar...)today im confident...(fools united.)
::One-ness in including God:
(check)(check)(check)THe most important factor in.ALL...when she hears me praying...(seeking god) and shares her thots(allow her to)...looking for her perspective(bible-study wants her input)...she feels much safer(im not dictating)...and so does he.../Now when she sees me making decisions without her...(trouble)...if i were to (ASK) what she is thinking...she may say:i guess im wondering what God is thinking.(check) what do you think? She knows god is not selfish...not exclude him...he will help me be unselfish.(p.250:why wait?)...(WTd:)There you have it. :SIX ATTITUDES: and related actions that make women really love their men. touched in one way on another threw-out this book...so foundational to discovering the mind of a woman.
::::chapter five::::
::Dont tell me im the key to the problem:
b4 i cd hlp otr men:see myslf frm gods frame(point)of reference...(know).../Nancy blvd i knew exacly hw dstrctv i was to her spirt.She ws shr i undrstd clrly th difcltys i ws creating...living in denial...not accepting th reality of HOW un-chst i was treting her.(mind knew but heart didnt).../The reality is I.didnt.have.a.clue.that things were as bad...if anything...she was the trblemaker...i figrd tht her prblm ws she exagerated evrythng...and evn invented trbls...like adam...my wife was th rel problm.../bind to mny lesns god prpard for me...missd idntifing circumstances...major lessons...instd of seeing gods hand...my blindness.MADE.ME.resent.overlook,or react negativly to them:MAtt.13:15:the hearts have grown dull of hearing...not first people to miss the 'relationship' implicatn of that vers.
::Three Insights.:
As i lrnd t listen to wht god was tryn to teach me and paid attntn to wht wives.wer.telling.me...i gaind three insights:
1.Husbands genrly do NOT undrstnd th minds of thr wives
2.inclind to be blind to thr own flts,yt extreemly alrt to thr wives failrs and very quik to condm thm.
3.hsbnds dnt alws kno how to evaluate th circmstances in thr marrigs, so thy miss th oprtunity.to.use.those.cicumsta as building blocks(value it)...how to make-the-change from.just seeing what is happening...to also seekin wht God is tryn to tch thm thrw wht is hapning...ill refr to thes three problms reptdly...ways to overcom them.../psalm51:5...child growing up(in world of sin) has no awareness of the power and influence this evil has on his life...(my savior? now be my lord)...Romans 7:18-25.../every enemy of god shd be fot and defeted...this will not hapn if we live in ignorance of our sin-nature and its manifestaions in our lives as men.
::Responses illustrating the fesh's defensiveness.:
(number one:identify evil) wait! shes not perfect...(focus on self)...she brot attention to his habit.of.being.impatient...Matt.11:28.find rest for your souls...(what?)since evry day is strsfull men shood be free from applying these verses in their relationships?.../God is allowing those events(stresses) not catching god by surprise...god is at work.(remember the three insights.../as husbands submission(to these new ideals) grew tense he reacted to these 'unreasonable'demands(of this book) using some pretty graphic language...(Ask)wood you hav evr beleved that you...a christn...wood use that kind of language about your wife and family?...in stnd shame he said:Never!(sinful nature revealed to him).../we try to shift the blame with statements.'///'well shes not perfect'///'...excuse provided by the flesh...(a wife is a mirror satan hates.) (cuz a marriage exposes hearts).../Scriptures tell us the wars...experience...confrontation...Gal.5:17.../issues that expose bad attitudes...everyday.(blinded by norm.).../another reason a man may not sense a war in his inner being is that he is not aware of Gods expectations(ten commandments)...he has the'title' of spiritual-leader...(ironicly).having aquired it...see no reason for growth...the title is theirs.../(shame)we belive we are in-charge, when we dont know what it meens to be in-charge of our wives spirits(wtd)...(know gods view for you)the average husband cant handle his wife questioning his character...eg:she says:.do you realize that when you spoke like that to-----your words were offensive?.../a true husband wood want to hear her improvements and not conclude she was trying to put-down nor question his leadership.(so TELL me).../Our wives see us with eyes that we canot see ourselves with (wtd)...among those who draw conclusions about our character, but are unwilling to take risk to inform us. ...christ is to live in and threw us...our wives become living illustrations of what its like to have a joyful relationship...it will further enhance our testimoney(of jesus)...(satan hates such a marriage.)
::Lets Get Real:
If my wife wood just approach me in a nicer way...(um...excuse me? if her heart is ripped out...she isnt going to warn you with a smile on her face.)
tell me that when you are angry and reactionary you do not speak in negative terms to God or anyone else...did HE reject you?...unconditional patience and love...thats why its such a farse to say 'SHes the Problem.' (anger looks stupid, rage is convincing, both are not acceptable, nor can touch the mans heart...he must see it himself...a woman can mirror...listen to her.)
::Not Even the Pastors:
difficult it is for pastors to accept that they NEED their wives help toward godliness...attitudes and behavior...(testify)reveal for years how he hurt his wife's spirit deeply.../pastors(wtd) are like the rest of us men...they to think their wives are exagerrating and inventing problems.../ignorance...and the flesh's self-preserving nature makes a strong foe...making us incapable of receiveing messages god has for us...(nor cood use them except...) threw our wives...and how can he use our prayers? /do you still struggle with the idea that you are the key to your relationships?...then move to next chapter for further clarification.
::::chapter six::::
::HOw to know if your the key to the problem:
..'///'dos ths guy thnk th wife can do no wrong? that shs always rite, no matter what HER attituds are?..../no...im trying to convey that being my wife...she (check)is UNABLE to control the way i affect her(except her response to the effects)...why? god has givn me a tangible means to evaluate whether or not im adverse or positively affecting (others).../There is a reason Nancy canot prevent her emotions from being affected...attitudes i have toward her...reasons why (wtd)her spirit canot overrule how her innerperson, her spirit, and her emotions are affected by me...if she were able...i wood loose the gauge god has provided (for me to observe and evaluate my own temperment toward others.).../here's what she says:even when im faithful in prayer and bible-study(searching what the holy spirit has for me) i am emotionaly affected in a negative way when KEn does or says...even tho i purpose...they put.me.in.a.mood.that is not-of-my-making.(check)(check)(check) i dont enjoy being interdependent and susceptible to him. (how women are) (reads moods) (emotional-dependent creatures) (body-language)
::Women know when their attitude is Wrong.:
many women confess: the way eye react to my husband is aweful!...i know when im reacting wrong...i cannot restrain myself from reacting...i feel so ashamed...cuz i know im being ungodly.../Im sure this statement(wtd)may be radical to you.(this is the part maydn must have worried about?) but a wife does not really have a choice about the affects her husband has on her emotions...(no covering) (so how do eye lay good affects?)...ples note im talkin about 'effects'(heart)...not the wife's responses...In gods design the woman is compelled to 'REflect' to her husband how he is or is not being christ-like...from the begining of creation...the woman was identified as help for the man...revealing the path he is on.../Now thats what eye call proof of a loving God! proverbs 16:25...Romans 3:10-12...customized-gauges.(eye like that word) to constantly measure our character and check our attitudes, seeing if we are on track or not.
::improving marriage not the real Motive:
(wtd)some Readers think thats what its all about. no! the real motivation if becoming more christ-like (Bible-centered.(..only then...can wife and all other things find place to orbit...when your eyes are off her...and on your creator...making this book possible...else it wood look like porn.).../she will be much more responsive...(when she sees i know im not perfect...growing...but not perfect...) ...i can follow this guy. and isnt that what all of us men want? wives who admire and follow us? (both get what they want)
::Its amazing to watch:
how quickly a wife is positivly affected by a change in her husbands attitudes...one day a couple illustrated this dramaticly: /the wife was angry...'///'he loves his family more than he love me...husband:why do you say that(dosnt see her heart-need)why are you always trying to cause trouble between us?///...WOA! stop i interupted:(ASK)is what your saying to her NOW accomplishing what you want it to? (wtd)...No.he admitted...i said:let me put words in your mouth...will you repeat after me?, he agreed so i started: say to her: its obvious that i have impressed you in some way that i care more about my family than i do you...he repeated what i said(looking at her)...i continued:i believe it is very hurtful to you when i act as tho my family is more important than you are to me.(SAY).And since that-is-how it has impressed you, i can see why it would make you very upset with me. i want you to know that it is not right that i have impressed you that way. It is not what God(love) wood want me to do. I.want.to.learn.how.to be the kind of person who causes you to believe i care as much about you as i do about my family, if not more. And i recognize that i have not done that. Its obvious to me that.I.dont.know.how.to do that, but i want.you.to.know.that i have every intention of learning.(key words:obvious impres hurtful act love i-care believe recognize intention.)
::Still not Catching it:
Having finished he looked at me. by looking at me he revealed that he had missed, and was still missing, what was taking place before his eyes. He was ignorant of the most-important thing he shood have noticed:(wtd) HOW what he had done had affected his wife(ASK)...look at your wife...what do you see?.../he turned his eyes...reporting,PEACE.(check)(check)...i said:isnt that interesting?...even tho she knows eye put the words in your mouth, they still brot peace.../as to that wr her cue, she eruptd again: WELL.IT.wont .Last...he'll be the same old rat...she was rite, he reverted to his old nature, blurting out:Now.WHy.do.you have to do that all the time?.'///'...whoa.whoa.stop.i said.lets not go down that road again...will you let me put words in your mouth again?...yes...repeat after me:Obviously you dont trust me very much. Obviously, my.character.and.conduct.havnt provided you with enuff confidence that you.can.trust.me.any longer than a moment...and that isnt rite.i know christ wood not impres you that way.(SAY)i will have to becum more like him so you can trust me longer.(pick-up-lines to get the woman of your dreams? words women love to hear?).../By now.(Result)his wife had her head resting on his sholder looking up at him in admiration at him...i said:is this not evidence to you that your wife is a 'REsponder', that she will follow your lead.Eph.5:25-29 if a man will learn to lay down his life.(pride?).../like all men (do) this man needed to learn that if he.APPRoaches his wife(the girl next door) in a godly manner, she will be emotionaly affected, she will respond...even tho she is violently angry and is full of hate for him.(thats a difference between men and women when it comes to anger...men arnt forgiving.like.that.)...if he ministers to her as christ wood, she.cannot.help herself, she will be emotionaly affected.she will respond.god has decreed that she will.Gen.3:16, Eph.5:25-29
::A realistic Concept:
We hav no problm believin our testimony is supposed to have.an.effect.on the lives of others...we have on the lives of our wives?.../incedentaly,(check) the problem was not his wife...he.didnt.know how to.respond.to his wife...nothing will bring out a mans true nature like marriage.../no man wood suspect(wtd)that his attitudes\behaviour cood bring his wifes physical and emotional symptoms...(check)(check)im not saying its always the reason.../physical symptoms have changed dramaticly as a result of husband.(see eleven wives symptoms p.85-103...here is wife one:)
::A wife with unexpected hairloss.
He(doctor)said hair-loss...and THAT was causing her great emotional stress. (wrong?)...insert:sometimes the husband is her 'other' child with the demands put on her by him...also she was emotionaly strugling over.HER.attitudes:
1.toward the pregnancy - not-wanting this gift from god.
2.toward her husbans - so un-grateful (he provides a home)
yet angry isolated unimportant and lonely (he's never home)
3.toward god - letting all this happen, husbands workload,
jealousy she has toward his patients.
(check)she was loosing hair cuz of her emotional struggles.../so i gave him a project:see her as someone god gave.him.to.care.for...set aside.time.for.her...insted of television...give time.to.children...giving wife releif also.../within six moons his wife had stablized...doctor had more healing power than he ever realized.
;;A wife with fainting spells.;
(wtd)to keep her from getting hurt, someone had to be with her constantly to catch her incase she fainted...she coodnt...do almost anything by herself.../when she...came...she was a nervous wreck...constantly adjusting her clothing.../centering on the suspecion that her behavior was the product of a wife feeling totaly unacceptable.(check).i (ASK)ed some questions...this mans wife felt she cood do nothing satisfactorily for her husband.
1.He.questioned.the wisdom of her purchases.groceries...etc.
2.HE.scolded.her choices about.what.she fixed for meals.
3.He.chalenged.her judments about driving and timing.
4.He.was constantly reacting.negatively.to her decisions.
.../(RESULTS:)anytime she had a decision to make.she.KNEW.it wood not be satisfactory to her husband...so uptight of being a.failure.in.the.eyes.of her husband...that rather than face.another.emotional.rejection.from another'WRONg'decision, her body wood compensate by fainting.(Wtd)
.../i had to teach the husband not to be so critical and judgmental...see her as christ(seeking a lost lamb.)wood see her...praise her for things she was doing...(..hey-thanks maydn for that lion-with-a-lamb card...it was in the package...but not mentiond in mydn1208.txt.)...need i remind you how that can minister to a wifes spirit and bring healing?.../(check)husband can heal attitude-problems as well:(coming next)
::A wife with attitudes of spiritual superiority.
This woman makes others feel she thinks everyone falls short of knowing whats true. Few seem to measure up to her standards...she spends alot of time soaking in uplifting thots and studying publications. She appears very authoritve...becuz of her reservoirs of insight(.pools of it.) and her in-depth study she comes across as a know-it-all..../when i see a woman like this, i 'RECOgnize' she must have a wounded-spirit...not cared for enuff to recognize her value as a person...especialy in gods eyes...she feels her personal value is gained by forcing right ideals...certainly not free to recognize or focus on herself as a sinner like the rest of us.../Again this can be traked to the spiritual-leader in her home...this husband winces when he hears her talking...he either reacts subtily or blatantly negative to her. Others feel free to join him in his rejection of her.
rejection can take many forms:outright disagreement, ridicule or lafter,ignoring her comments, or people distancing themselves from her.../Lets say.she.Brot.these.characteristics into the marriage with her...does husband recognize what qualties god wants to build? obviously the answer is no. minister to.even.a.truely.disreputable.woman? (as jesus did).../typicaly this woman tries to find value by straigtening out everyone else. to focus on everyone elses inadequte-sees...this conduct is proof her spirit needs to be cared for.(check) relived of her feelings of inferiority(a woman?),insignificance(you evolved), and worthlessness(invironmental-hazard), which will free her from the need to prove she has some value.
::A wife who displays a stubborn, strong will.
Most people feel sorry for this womans husband cuz .it.LOOKS.like.she manages everything in their home...even him. always making plans...going to have her way, no matter what...strongly reacts to and resists men.../men dont bother to (ASK)why is she like that?(check)(check)But it is christlike (to bother) to.see.into.the.heart.of such a person.../a woman who is.unwilling.to submit to a man in anything...no man, in her perspective, has proven himself.trustworthy.(wtd)she concluded:i have never had a man in my life who was concerned about what is.best.for.me. so since i have.not.had.that experience, i can trust only one person in my life...-ME-...and for what is.in.my.best.interests...-ME- i have to watch out for...protect.myself.no one else will.why worry about anyone else. no one ever worried for me...
/As a dicipliner i have a duty to 2.Timothy 2:2.by first challenging-myself and discover attitudes in me first.(check)(check)...Only.THEN.can eye help other men...ways within their hearts...to have victories as well...
TWO different attitudes:
1.say you are stubborn and self-willed...get your act together.
2.say How can i inspire you...prove that iam concerned about what is in your best interests.
this secound attitude says:i know god isnt surprised...so i can trust that god wants me to learn from you...how i can become more like him...also discover the best-way to minister to you.(o waiter? yes? what may i do4U!).../WATCHFUL about(check)learning ways in my-life before helping others...god can...and often has...used my wife to that.'///'she said:you never tell me i need to change in my own best interests. you just tell me to change cuz you dont like it.'///'.../That statement boggled my Mind.!WHat a Revelation! when we affect our wives so negatively (check) they begin to resent us...develop their own philospies of how they shood handle life...and so dont.LOOK.for.Input. from there spiritual leader...(check)(check) im so greatful eye gained THAT INSIGHT...i.GAINED.insight into much-more attitudes and MOTIVES when it comes to correcting people.(the Big turn in his career)Isnt that why christ died for us? .HE.put.our best interests ahead of his own.(wow! the creator of the Universe! as-if he really needed us?.but loved us anyway.)
;;A wife who is considered domineering.
Everyone notices when his wife bossed him around...what to do or say.She dosnt even try to hide it...so people say:That poor guy, his wife sure is domineering./But here again, the situation is accepted at face-value...What no one knows(nor accept even if she gave her-side of the story)is that her husband is so unmotivated...he dosnt offer any input about anything. No suggestions,no opinions, no ideas, no nothing!...He may have them, but(check) he is not commited to anything outside himself.../a husband neglectful of his god-given Role...he cannot remain uninvolved if he is to.OFFER.christ-like leadrship...HE.may think himself to be a self-sacrificing Martyr...laying down his life...because he never stands up for himself. But he is really practicing Concession, not Leadership..../This wife has no leadership(check)so why wood she not conclude:ILL HAVE TO be the one who gets it done.../case in point:he turns over his paycheck, so he felt he earned himself the freedom of another week of unhampered beer-drinking and televisn-watching...(his duty?) Proudly he wood say: WHAT more cood a Man do for His family?.../as the years passed...the house gets smaller, what shood we do?...HE avoided all responsiblity by saying'///'Dont (ASK) me. they're your kids and its your house. i do my part. i bring home the bacon. What you do from there on out is YouR problem.(little red hen story?) so she adds on a new room...gets supplies...gets it certified...people admire it...yet she gets the blame for being a domineering wife.
::A wife who appears to lack confidence in the
spirit of god and is unsure of her salvation.
not unusual for women to.be.fearful...for unsympothetic husbands to scold:why dont you stop fearing everything and trust the lord more? they may think they are good to point-out their failures...yet what do these words convey(to her)? the are demeening, condemning...only make a woman feel unacceptable and .RESULT.in more insecurity(check)...an insecurity increases.FEaR...jesus did not demeen nor condemn the adulterous woman in this way.John.8:2-11.
.../Another KIND of fear is seen in the lack of assurance about salvation... the typical solution is:explain it more emphatically...making her feel even more insecure.../one had frequently had presentations of the plan of salvation. but she was now in worse shape than when she started having doubts. her problem was defined in three passing statements:
1.if the spirit of God were really living in me, how cood i doubt my salvation?
2.im so confused.
3.(but her final statement clearly revealed it:her defear and despair:) its easy to see how God wood send his son to die for y'all. Y'all are good people, but im not like y'all.../Her(true)problem was not doubting her salvation...it was only the(meens of)manifesting her problem. HER.REAL.problem. was that.she.felt.absolutely...worthless. Actualy her first-line of reasoning made sense. But even Peter had troble with doubts and unbelief.MATT.14:25-32.that did not proof she was unsaved. HEr secound-statement was evedience of(a force)working to destroy her.1.corinthians 14:33...but Her third-statement explained.the.condition.of.her.spirit.and indicated that it was a spiritual-problem...her spirit was struggling...
.../As a meens of 'healing' her. i diciplined her Husband! (wtd) he was the key to his wifes problem...i talked to him of caring for her spirit...how to become alert to positive character qualities in his wife's everyday actions. how to express in words of praise to his wife the things he was learning to notice.(.maydn? help me.).../after six moons of teaching him to see his wifes value...(check) to express.to.her.the value. he was discovering...(tho it was there all the time)...both noticed she stopped doubting her salvation. she was healed...her husband had applied Matt.11:28.for she had bin heavey-laden with laboring over her insecurity...bcuz he ministered to her spirit he brot on the rest found in emotional security
::A christian wife who has lost interest in christanity.
This is fairly.common. even in which husbands are active in the church. the common.denominator.is that.(check)(check)the husband has not learned.how.to.minister.to his wifes spirit...woman prays:god please help me be the kind of person my husband will love...wife starts looking for ways.(burp).../Try as she may...he remains typicaly male.../so she prays harder, goes to bible study, joins church commities, volunteers for all sorts of stuff...trying hard to be the perfect.../(RESULT) does her husband understand?... does he.Realize.how hard she is trying to do whatever it takes to influence him(and God) into letting.her.feel.loved.by.(him)her husband? NOOOPE...(eye hope maydn heard this one.)so she starts loosing hope. she.Concludes.that neither her husband nor God cares about her desperation...(she SAYS)
.../she has bin.TAWT.that her husband is her spirit-leader...and god will take care of her...she feels unfulfilled as a wife, a woman, a christian, where in the world is she supposed to go?...///Husband says:HEy, dont come to me about it. She is her own person. im not responsible for her spiritual walk!.../Thats typical thinking.../relate another example:Phoenix Arizona,at a Life-Partners'Discovery Seminar'(1990's) we offer a three-year diciplinary course...BRET and Barbara...Bret was determined to avoid being'put to death' but he was committed to learning how to minister to his wifes spirit.(check)BarBara said:Now what cood you guys ever teach him that cood possibly inspire me to have any confidence in him?...but the last three weeks were the most significant of my life...i have never felt as close to god as i have lately becuz of our relationship...a greater closeness...yet i know in my heart...that is exactly what is happening.(concern for heart-felt things between beings had grown).../What evidence do we need before we realize the enormouse Power God has intrusted to us as men? We are the key to solving relationship problems...(the goal of Jesus:to live his life...in his people.)
::A wife who has lost interest in her personal appearance.
OVer the years this wifes appearance has gone downhill. His Husband has finaly convinced her that he dosnt care about her, so why shood she care? (wtd) she starts putting on weight...indicative of an emotional-factor.
lets say she cant help it...its a glandular problem...its still an opportunity for the man to examine himself(check) his attitudes within.His.Heart. Her weight gain is not a surprise to God.nor says:oh,boy,i didnt expect this!.../so how a husband responds...show how his attitudes...irritated and critical?...(Wtd)..SAY:i know this is a struggle for you. my greatest concern is that you will think this affects my love for you. Let me assure you that i am committed to love you for the rest of my life.../If you face this situation(wtd) dont fall into the trap of thinking:NOW that ive told you what i think. dont expect me to tell you again. if i ever change my mind. i will let you know.../Saying this only.ONCE.will.NEVER.solve.the.NEED.(check)(check) You will need to.REAFFIRM. your commitment and love.Often...preferably daily.
.../Now back to the non-glandular problem. One over-weight lady told me why not motivated to lose weight: not to long after getting married (SEX)...she started experiencing emotional abuse(or neglect?) from her husband...(note:the man cannot be the one to determine what is emotional-abuse) as time went on.(see time-table)she became more and more defeated...she turned to SWEETs(.subconsciously looking for somthing enjoyable in life.).and started gaining weight...men stopped paying attention to her.../she grew more and more discouraged.she remenbered how men used to notice her.../We were greatful for the opportunity to minister to HER.HUSbands.needs...(.to be a good spirit/heart-keeper.)...and so one day she asked...i wonder what it wood take to get rid of my weight.?.../again notice.THE.EfFEcts.of his commitment to christ....what was he doing that was so abusive?...he was to tired to spend time devoted to his wife...his exausted condition after a day of work made him 'SNAP' at the kids...which indirectly told them'I do not Like You'...Little things like that.Piled.Up...communicating insensitivity...
;;A wife who is a poor communicator.
This catagory covers.A.RANGE.of verbal problems. A wife may talk too much, or not enuff.(wtd)ask to many questions, show almost no interest in what her husband does...Almost always having grown as a RESULT of her husband not knowing how to Tap.into.His.wifes.spirit.(WHY).he dosnt know how to listen to his wifes words...that she is communicating.Much.More.that just words. he needs to listen to her Heart...understand what it meens to affirm her(daily) as a person...communicatin improves dramaticly(check)(check)when a husband becomes more interested what is in his wifes heart...than what she is saying.
.../The clearest 'SYMtom' is when she says'///'YOu do not understand Me'...and he says:yes i do.i heard every word you said...she experiences that response as a defensive action...he who is unwilling to accept her words as an expression of how he is affecting her heart...(SAY:)i apologize.Help me understand what you Mean. i want to know what is involved in caring for you in a way that causes you to believe i do understand and care for you...(i hope maydn knows that buy now...also eye am typing this book out cuz she did sound 'nervous' that eye was reeding such a book...hehe...eye wood be too...but now she can see what im getting into...taking her with me.) Then he will have begun to verbalize the situation from her-perspective.../Remember when the husband said:eye dont really love my parents more than you! All she 'experienced'from him was defensiveness.(not willingness)...But when he apologized and acknowledged(his wrong?)the situation from her perspective...she believed he was concerned about how he was affecting her.(check)she begun to see that he wanted to minister to her spirit.(heart)
::A wife who experiences excessive depression.
A severly depressed person is illustrating the following principle:(wtd)Life Is Overwhelming to Me.and i cant find any answers.No matter what ive tried.nothing works...Every source of this persons energy is being depleted. She is struggling so hard to manage life that her system wants to shut down.(sounds like maydn.).depending on how advanced her case is.(see time-line?)it may already have shut down. or is not functional.
.../If a man experiences this depression...he is not familiar with the answers for his situation.
.../If a woman experienced thi depression...than he condition is also Gods way of alerting her husband that he is not familiar with the answers to specific situations.(find people-examples that work-better...Amish?.)
.../God allows things...Romans.8:28.the death of their son...two years passed before i cood tell them god allowed this death to open their hard-hearts to eachother...the inner-needs of people...god was not willing to leave this husband spiritualy dis-functional...the death of his son...opened his heart.John 4:24...aspects of relationships they had never dreamed of.(check)(check) .../so his wife was not able to experience the joy and fulfillment of a spirit-to-spirit relationship with him.(SAY) god gave the mans son the extreem honor of being the price for awakening his father to his own spirit so that his father and God could have a rich spirit-to-spirit fellowship.../It had never occurred to that mother and father to see their son's death in that light. altho hearts were aware of grief, they cood rejoice and thank god even in the tradgedy!...But again. it was the father, the husband, that held the key to resolving the depression. God wanted to.GET.the.Husbands.Heart.(and everyones around me)
::A wife who shows symptoms of emotional instability.
This wife often seems to be angry.(wtd).crying, fearful, or in the middle of some emotional trauma...lets say its from childhood abuse...not the results of her husbands failures....He wood never dismiss his responsiblity by saying:You Were A MEss before eye ever Met You! This is not My Fault, so dont expect Me to be responsible for Fixing You...MAtt.11;28 does christ say come to me...unless its not my fault?...No!...husband is not exempt...aspects may be foreign to him...but as long as his wife has needs...he MUST diligently search for solutions...(maybe me and maydn got lucky.) He may never give up on her...Christ.Never.Gives.Up.on us.(check)...We have Just gone threw several example of Biblical-perspectives for victorious(victorian?) living in everyday relationships...There ARE So much More!...(end of chapter.) (end of eleven wives weeping...or eleven symptoms to watch for...eye had fun typing them...eye had maydn on my heart...and her happines...in a tree-house with pooh.)
::::chapter seven:;::
see nr3.txt
also found in this book:
eleven maids a milking p.85-103 (symtoms)
seven ladies dangling. p131
(six geese a laying bad eggs) (attitudes)
five... blind-ded mice p.160
time-line of a marriage with
an uncaring husband p.128
nr3.txt - - - - v1-19-08
understanding a woman...
book by Ken Nair...
so Cold you cood skin a wolf
and wear his hide..?..Yikes.
Jesu! it dont matter what
eye think...i just need you
to clean and gide me so
eye can have the thots you want
me to have today.
no i do not remember all
things typed...but it did give
me time with great-thinkers...
and things are planted in me.
Hi. Mayden!
Did you like the new arrival?
Todays session in the Tree-House
was about Love-Letters to Maydn.
it took 'Everyones' input to
put the package together...
(.much love.)
Bed-time thots of you are
very.uff.uff.Ruff.on me!
your eyes and your lips
your voice and your Hair
'stings' a boys Hart all over.
draw-n to you and
weak-nd by your 'looks'
its not long before iAM
reduced to a Licky-Licky
puppy in your Arms.
so sweet...but so
hum=Mule-ee-ating!
cuz then your loverly words
stir the fire and iAm
de-feated in an instant...
very kinky-satisfying.
(.more.)
coming-to my senses again.
and breathing soft-fire.
eye realize im still in your
Arms!...holding the most
beautiful girl in the world.
her fabric and body-heat is
very soothing.
thots come to me...waRmth
of being so near makes
me mutter...woo...she is
aweful good to be with...
and at knowing what
boys like.
but now.?...its my turn.
be care-ful with her heart.
this woman allows you Near.
sheez-a little-girl inside.
find out what she likes.
find why women are so strange.
find what.Sir Loverly Honey
Bear-Bee...intimately meens.
then bee those things to her.
surprise her next time.
in the woods.where you meet.
do Not let her defeat.you first.
show her you learned more about
.Honey-Bear-Bee.
eye hope now eye can:
.Hurt.her.Wow.her.Melt.her.
what Greater way to Reward
her than
with things that make her
heart Sing...explode with love.
and hang defeated in big-fluffy
honey-bears Arms!
you see maydn...eye have bin
searching for stuff...cuz you
made a boy happy. of course he
is going to find out how you
work...your designs...
boy and girl WANT to play with
hearts...so the wounds and
music of mate-ing floods the woods.
and in the morning...colors!
tite-lee woven heart-cords...
patterns and pleezing fabrics,
love from uplift-ing moments...
such magical materials...
only guaran-teez.. warmer days...
and deeper dreams with you.
(.more.)
Im all excited cuz im Neer-ing
the end of this Ken-Nair book.
So eye can write a sum-mary...
(.maybe all the checked-parts?)
the best-parts for guy-me to
have tape-d up for quick-use-z.
so when me and mayden do have
meet-s...eye can bee-bear-ee.
Honey-Bear-bee...bear-ee...bee.!
Thats what im thinking as eye
type-in these last efforts...
May-bee you will shock me and say:
Nope..girls dont like that stuff.
Or maybe they do! and eye am
discovering hearts with you.
(.sigh.)
My other secret reason is that
you will print the Sum-mer-ee
and stiky-tape it up so your
Man will know how to BEAR-BEE.
(bare-be)
Incase eye dont work-out well
for you...some very-lucky guy
will have all the instructions
EYE.typed.out.for.you...and
just Bear-ee Bee the most wonderful
Bear you ever cood be Bear with.
(.imeen,bare-heart-ed-Bee)
so these are the things that
inspire me to keep typing...
also before me is a water-color
ink and pencil drawing of a
maiden in the wilderness...
a tree behind her is slowly
becoming a man...becuz he is no
doubt falling in-love with her.
based on Grim Fairey Tales.1917
...book continues:
::::chapter seven::::
;;That mysterious, incomprehensible woman.;
Have you ever notices...(dash)Seldom do men talk about relationship situations...unless its kids failures and achievments.../when...bragging about whose wife was the greatest? is almost taboo...the closest is women in general.../unless the talk(check)is about sex, men consider the subject of relationships with women mystifying...its not that they think...its that they dont.consider.relationships important enuff.
;;Problem solving from a male perspective wont do it.;;
One reason...they are not trained to understand them.(women want empathy...not solutions)...we men think mechanicly.../example:'///'how did things go today...she say:This has bin a horrible day! I feel like im going to fall apart...a man thinks:sound like shes out of energy...his solution:Have you taken your iron pills?...whatever...he thinks thats the solution to her problem...she rolls her eyes:Why do i even bother!///You just dont understand anything./defensivly he shoot back:THats the thanks i get! You have a problem, eye offer help, you get mad at me. if thats the appreciation eye get...forget it. He may conclude:what an idiot i am.(check) meanwhile she is back in the kitchen, trying to keep kids and supper controled /(wtd)instead of trying to 'Solve'everything how about.///Im sorry you had a ruff day. i really do care. and i want you to know i love you, and im here for you. Since your day ruff, how bout eye watch the kids./after reviving her(why woodnt she faint?) how do you supose your wife wood respond to THAT tender-hearted thotfulness.? her response wood be so appreciative, it wood warm her heart with love./dont expect much at first after years of neglect./yet it WiLL affect her positvily.(she cant help that.).../its so typical for male to fix-things with (check) did you take your vitamin pill? that we dont relize that the.resonse.is actually.condeming.to a wife...as if we said:You dont seem very smart. if you were.you wood have taken your vitamin pills...no wonder wives feel like throwing things at us. /That a simple example of how our 'Problem-solving attitude' (among other attitudes that may have an unoticed effect on her (ask))...because we come up with those innocent yet demeening comments, our wives clam up.(wont speak). consequence(wtd:)They distance themselves emotionaly from us.(dash)
;;His solutions increase the dilima.;;
he may conclude there are no answers. (wtd) to many frustrations will run down his endurance(check)not knowing how to solve...is what wears him down(help us).../learn that gods ways are not mans ways...independent nature of man.Judges 21:25, 21:2.prov? every man did what was rite in his own eyed...notice the Lord focus is on.the.importance.of.the.heart.(wtd) he emphasizes the weighteer-matters, the emotions, the feelings of the spirit(heart)where incidently, women tend to operate. /proverbs 16:2men must seek to acheive.That.Ability.(weigh the spirits)/relationships? doing what is rite in our own eyes will leed to problems.../when a man dosnt seem to be able to get a handle on her emotions,her inner feelings,the natural man-response is to resort to demeening,verbal,physical abusive behaviour...the resulting wifes silence or lack of resistance can falsy leed him to believe he has solved the problem, reducing the tension and stress, he has however multiplied(amplified) dramatically the intensity of the problem.(do you get this maydn?).../(dash) shocked at how many men do not have the slitest suspecion that they have'created' the problem...by acting on what seems right.(to a man)
.../example...the young pastor who'WAS'the cause of his wifes alienation...i watched her.make.a decision based on .his.response...she backed-off and.let.him.gain a reputation of irresponsible unreliable.../reminding him of an appointment while talking to a couple...(thinking he may have forgotten)...he gave the you-will-not-force-me-lady look and said:i will be there in a miniute.///...keeping her eyes on the ground she walked away totaly humuliated.(spirit hurt).../consider the opportunity the pastor missed...(do)(dash) the inspiration he cood have given!...if he said(SAY)You know what? my wife has reminded me that eye have another commitment that eye must keep. Im going to have to get with you another time.../see? the pastor swithced to a.COntest.Mentality...eg.whos going to be the Boss?' he totaly misunderstood her motives and misjudged everything from that point on. (do not contend with her.)...most men think that way...he.LOST.not only his wifes respect.but also her commitment to preserve his reputation. (wow.wood maydn do that for me?) He suffered that loss...not from that one offense...but from his continued demonstation of offensive attitudes.(do not use) (forsee Result) (wtd).../we will benefit from relationship problems only when we change the way we evaluate the problems we face...reflect on our circumstnnces...gods perspective...will keep us from feeling we are victims of life...(How does she feel when eye say or do that?) (ASK!)
;;Getting Gods perspective.;
we can start...romans.8:28.when she cries...leaves the house...you wonder if she will ever return...is one of the 'all things' working for your good.../our wives is.one.way...the path to...minister to our wives.spirits...mentions attitudes that minister to our wives:philip2:5.let this mind be in you.../we can.have.the mind-set...let-.it.take place...as He did.philip2:2-4.Fulfill my joy...be like-minded.../love his wife just as much.As.He.loves himself(Hang!meter)(wtd?).../here are some preps to christ-minded-ness:
1.If he understood...we ought also to learn how women think.
2.give.of.himself for the.betterment.of his bride.
3.learn what it meens to be consprited, his relationship with his wife is proof positive wheter or not he.Has.a.working.knowledge.of co-cons-piracy.
4.deamonstrate how one-ness with god is...by one-ness with wife.
5.did not seek to promote himself.but found his importance in lifting god...a man can practice not-promoting self or his interests...by prefering his wife. She intern will be his glory because he is obedient to Jesus.(GOD)1.Cor.11:7
6.HE did for us whatever was required...do same...highly value your wife.
7.biblical values before the world...concerns himself with the betterment of others...especially his wife. He\she lived an example.
(one result)unique.attributes will begin to show...ability to perceive thots...Luke.5:22.../.(ASK)wood your wife say you show the above attributes? if not your flesh is in control...unable to have the mind of christ.(read thots)...over your attitudes and behavior...the longer you show...the more effective you will become in reading her thots.
;;Discerning My wifes Spirit.;
(example)(ask)what nancy thot of me going to Kstore...she said:sure.thats okay...go ahead...no.i.didnt go cuz you didnt want me to...she said:but how did you know that? i thot i had hidden how i really felt...true...but because i was committed to becoming more christlike (sensitive to others) i was developing a sixth-sense for understanding.her.attitudes.(of her heart).../(wtd) i had to learn how she relly felt in he spirit, ment repetedly and sincerely.Listening.to her.(check)even when i thot there was no need to consider.her.perspective.when i feel-right about whatever im doing or saying. she began to feel safe about revealing what.she.was thinking and feeling in her spirit.../god wants to teach him threw his wife(dash)to become sensitive to others.../maybe like me you received signals from your wife but ignored them as worthless, god is trying to make you more sensitive.../valuable tip:(wtd)woman do not like to appear the boss...not be asked questions in front of others that.make.it.look as if.she.is making the decisions...It is possible.to.learn.her.opinions.without creating an embarrassing situation for her...when alone...or make sure questions do not draw attention to her...nor the answer.(example: Over-shoot the question: i already got Names picked out for all our kids...if she replys joyfully to such thots...than you know she is not-against marrying you. which was what you reely wanted to know.)
;;Women Sensitive to How you Are perceived;
concerned...will be thot of as stubburn dominating if they express their true-wishes...fear to expressthemselves truthfully.../we were to paint together but i wanted to go out with a friend...if i had gone:and told her she was trying to run my life...i wood have bin the looser.../god wants all husbands to stop being loosers...not permit problems to grow or fester...(banking up a strong charge.)...relationships...he wants us sensitive to her spirit...before he can minister to her spirit...so alert to the spirits of others that he can discern the emotional state of another person...sometimes without eyes...greatly impacting all our relationships:job home clan naybors church (see chapter fourteen)
;;Problems Revealing Need for Sensitivity;
Previous chapter...symptoms(eleven)that reveal a problem-husband, not living with his wife in an understanding way...not incouraging...supportive...threw thick and thin...a failure to minister to a wifes spirit.../but you say:...she had problems long befor eye met her...(say)has she gotten better or worse since you married her?.../Maybe just maybe you are the problem after all...correct the problem...be satisfying.
;;The Secret to understanding you Wife;
THere is a secret to understanding the spirits of others that women practice often, usually without knowing it.../(TEST)next time with a couple...TRY.THIS.:(ASK)the husband a question about his wife. Then watch him closely as he answers you...Now turn to his wife and ask her a question about him.,watching her closely as she answers. you may ask him:do you think you spend as much time talking with your wife as you wood like?...then ask his wife: does your husband give you quality conversation time so you can discuss your inner-most feeling?.../notice:he will usualy only look at you, but the wife will be watching her husbands responses closely while she is answering you...why do you suppose she was?.../you may say:cuz she was afraid of him?...maybe, but whay you saw was very typical, the man will give you a straight-forward answer as we wood a question about the house or our tools. But Women...are watching for attitudes, how the person she is talking about is reacting to her answer. Women observe the spirits of people by noticing the action in the eyes, the facial expressions, the voice tones.(like a dog? you can say go away...but if its hi-sweet sounds he will run toward you)...she observes changes in facial expression, his body language, and his eyes.
.../ i grant you she will base her answers on what her husband will be willing to hear, that cuz.its.so.important.to a wife that her husband not Reject her(WTD)...easier for her to live with an answer that is not the truth.../the husband was watching you cuz its more important what you and others think of him than what his wife thinks...in most cases he is not even thinking how his words or ways may affect his wife.../most men do not even realize that everyone has a spirit.(hopes.to be respected?) and must be careful not to wound or damage...crush or inwardly destroy a person.Proverbs 18:14.a wounded spirit who can bare?...she withdraws...repeated wounding (made enemy).../consider another situ...you leeve a meeting, your wife says:'///'you turned them off...offended...they wer not listening to you.'...did you believe her? ignore her? or respond defensively?...how much i was hurting myself by not paying attention(to her)...wives notice things that we men do not...becuz we are not aware of how we are affecting others, especially the spirits of our wives, we cause all kinds of problems for ourselves.
;;Would You Like to become Sensitive?;
healthy...it is the unseen spirit that is able to draw close to the unseen God,Luke 24:39.John.3:8,its like the wind...alert.to...communicates.Romans.8:16.../WHy do you think Jesu was able to lead a sinless life? (check)(check).becuz he was God? tho in becoming a man. he emptied himself.his spirit remained in direct communication with the Father(i do always those things that please Him)so he was able to know and do the will of God. John.6:38.8:28.../others have a spirit that can be incouraged or wounded.(wtd).FIRST.STEP:become aware of the concept of a spirit(team spirit?)gods,others,and ours(the tuff one)requires a major shift in our thinking.the deserve our attention, NEXT.STEP.:Instead of seeing her as a problem, see her as a mirror in the hand of God, revealing how sensitive or insensitive you are...
;;The Litumus TEst of Sensitivity;
(ASK)am i meeting the needs of my wife? is she unpleasant,difficult,depressed,moody.? than.You.are.Not.ministering to her spirit.(wtd)proverbs.17:2,15:3.a merry heart makes a cheerful...(star).../like learning how to use a tool or Read,(check) first become sensitive to.his.own.spiritual.needs.(AWare of Him).../very diliberately learn to.READ.another persons Reactions.../(check)learn to watch her eyes and facial expressions.VERY.carefully. Develope.this.HABIT...difficult cuz i was not the way i had ever observed. (check) like you, i had bin conditioned as a child to.AVOID.eye-to-eye contact. if someone shows dissapproval...we learned to.look.away. instead of change.our.way.
;;Develop a Partnership with Your Wife;
...We.have.let.our wives know so often we.do.not.like.their dissapproval of.our.behaviour that they will try to.hide.their true feelings...'looks'made nancy feel i was rejecting.her.as a person. in time(see chart) she no longer wanted me to.SEE.HER.expressions of warning, or (wtd)her feelings of grief and anger...Result:eye totaly missed out on help she was giving me.../example:i seen a severe look of resentment on Nancys face after a meeting, i said:whats the matter, she said:Nothing...i said to myself:well, you had your chance Toots!...then i wood proceed with whatever i was doing.and i was always the looser for it. THis time, having learned to value...i insisted:we will not move until i know what in bothering you. she said: you were flirting with those women in there. i said in hi-pitch tones:Flirting?...i was just being friendly.(from a mans view-point) SHe said:im a woman, i.know.what flirting is to a woman.../Re-evaluate my life attitudes:
Q:what was your motive?
A:i was trying to be friendly.
Q:How were you being friendly.
A:Well,i was being funny and wanting to be clever.
Q:Why did you feel the need to be clever?
A:Well,whats wrong with wanting to be clever and cool?
Everyone wants to be thot of as Neat. Its nice to be the center of attention.
Q:why do you need to be the center of attention with other women?
A:Dosnt every man feel good about women paying attention to him?
Yep, she's right...thats flirting!...since then ive tried never to.act.in.a.way.that my wife wood interpret as flirting...never.REly.on.how i may interpret flirting...(wtd) without Nancy.helping.(check)i may not have known the difference between paying godly attention to the spirit of a woman and paying special attention to the woman. Thats one cause of jealousy.../its a tragic thing to see men flirt in the name of christian fellowship and see wives suffer (wtd) gilt feelings cuz they.ARE.experiencing jealousy. the wife says nothing. the husband justifies his actions. make her appear the culprit: how dare you have such unrealistic feelings...wounding her spirit of the person he promised before God to love and protect at all costs...instead of ministering positively to her spirit.as christ wood.
.../What have i said in this chapter:(summary)
1.men label women as mysterious cuz it takes the responsiblilty off us.
2.it excuses our unwillingness to truely listen to their hearts.
3.when god wants to point out some weakness in our character.
4.that it is possible to know what is on her mind and heart.
5.tho painful.we can discover what will and will not heal their spirits...
You and eye make the choice everyday.they never were mysterious to God.../in the next chapter:what it meens to care.for.our wives...no easy solutions...improved relationships.is.worth.all the effort.
::::chapter eight::::
;;How do i measure up?;
a class for men to get a feel of where.their.weakest.areas.were. he gave them A-Quiz. also sent to wives in self-stamped envelop so they cood complete it anonymously...22 of 24 wives wrote, and only one-half the men.../the-difference shows how men perceive themselves in their relationships and how their wives perceive them.(the trick was to over-shoot the question...so they wood give an honest response)...According to the wives:(wtd)failure to communicate,outbursts of anger,and inability to make decisions were reported as the mens major weakness, but those same weaknesses hardly showed up on the mens quiz-answers.../you may take the quiz yourself, if you really want to be vulnerable...let your wife evaluate your answers. There is nothing like 'getting' her (a female) perspective as you move...god asks you to care for (what you see) your wife. (dash) no one is more concerned about the success or failure of your marriage than your wife. Every councelor ive talked to confirms my finding on this.
:::Attitude Self-Quiz:::
1.wood your family say that your work habits make your work seem more important to you than your family? See:prov.15:27.ecc.2:4-11,5:12
___YES ___NO ___Often ___Seldom
2.Wood God be pleased with all you look at? and how long your eyes rest on it? see:job.31:1
___YES ___NO ___Often ___Seldom
3.Do your children regard you as a wise Teacher? see:deut6:7,prov.15:2,17:6
___YES ___NO ___Often ___Seldom
4.does your wife feel that after your relationship with god, she holds first place in your life? see:1.peter.3:7
___YES ___NO ___Often ___Seldom
5.Do you seek your wifes coucil beforw you make decisions?(as much a possible?) see:Matt.19:5-6,Eph.5:31,phil.2:2
___YES ___NO ___Often ___Seldom
6.do you think your wife is to emotional? see:prov.18:14,1.peter.3:7
___YES ___NO ___Often ___Seldom
7.do you look forward to talking with your wife with as much enthusiasm as you experience when talking with friends (or even strangers?)see:Mal.2:14-15, John.15:15
___YES ___NO ___Often ___Seldom
8.do you share your innermost needs with your wife so she can pray for and with you? see:1.Tim.2:1-2,1.Peter.3:7
___YES ___NO ___Often ___Seldom
9.do you welcom your wifes criticism of you as an opportunity to evaluate how you effect others? see:prov.10:17,13:18,15:31
___YES ___NO ___Often ___Seldom
10.do you know the goals of each member of your family? see:Prov.22:6,27:23.
___YES ___NO ___Often ___Seldom
11.does your wife confide her secrets to you? see:prov.14:26.
___YES ___NO ___Often ___Seldom
12.do you get angry with members of your family? see:prov.14:29,1.cor.13:5,eph.6:4.
___YES ___NO ___Often ___Seldom
13.do you think of your family members as persons God has given you to help you learn? see:prov.1:22-23,1.cor.3:18,
___YES ___NO ___Often ___Seldom
14.wood your wife say you put spiritual and emotional needs above your sexual needs? see:matt.6:33,2.peter.1:3-6.
___YES ___NO ___Often ___Seldom
15.do you feel that a home, money, prestige builds security in a wife? see:prov.16:25,24:3-4,
___YES ___NO ___Often ___Seldom
16.wood your wife say that you understand her frame of reference in most matters? see:1.peter.3:7
___YES ___NO ___Often ___Seldom
a pastor once told me a meening-full service to men wood be to find a way to help the.Recognize. the serious trouble toward which their marriages were headed. he revealed 25 couples in his clan whos marriages were on the verge of destruction.(show them the time-line?) but how without them getting defensive.? .../men dont purposely defend somthing wrong, but are insensitive to the wrong they are causing.../a year later the pastors wife left him also. (.he to was defensive.)...as men we reely do not like light shed on our evil fallen natures. John.3:19-21 men love darkness. thats why they say:there is no EVIL. .../in view of what the bible says about us...unless a crisis hits us...most men do not question their values.../its smarter(not to wait for a crisis) and much less destructive (to lives) to pay-attention as the Lord uses our wives(and children) in daily situations to shine(wtd)light on.our.dark.ways.(what am i doing to my kids? why did i hurt my wife? are these warnings to tell me somthing is wrong with my behaviour? ) its not needful to wait till each situation is-a-crisis...BUT...we will have to wait until we are willing to change. THAT is the purpose of the Quiz...if you answered five or more questions negative, you are in-line for needing to learn how to care for your wife more effectivly.
;;Its A MAtter Of Control;
chapter six revealed HOW-Significant attutudes words and actions are to a wifes spiritual, emotional, and physical health.(wtd) a husband has incredible.(unrelalized!)control over his wifes emotional condition, wither she wished it or not. Many woman fiercely resent how much their husbands effect them emotionaly...thats why i repeatedly emphasize the extreemly serious responsiblilty god gave men to be living examples of christ as we interact with wives.../example:johns secound divorce with monica brot him to my office for help...she was with another man cuz johns.violent.temper.she was to scared to be without an adult male in the house. even tho she had three sons with her.../during council sessions(with john) the focus was always on christ-minded ness...thats all!...not how to win his wife back. wife got angry...how dare you get my husband to change! after the life he put me and the kids threw for six years! ive had to scrape and scavange around childcare foodstamps hell on earth. now john changes...///why didnt you change john six years ago? (cuz he didnt see the need till to-late. just like all people) .../(SAY):i dont blame you for being angry. you dont?she said. No,i said:after all the pain and suffering he has put you threw, being scared at night and all that, and now he comes around a changed person.
(note: the counciler is getting-where-she is...she is 'not' angry...her anger soon drops when someone is willing to feel for her.with her...emotions.)
Johns wife...like all alienated wives we met...did not.trust.the changes at first...(wtd)but that was six years ago...the sons still talk of his change. control dosnt have to be manifest in a negative way. (did Jesu ever?)
;;Time-Line of A MArriage With an Uncaring Husband;
(...bin waiting for this!)
did you complete the attitude self-Quiz? (say:) i appreciate the.dicipline.You.excercised.in following thrw with that task. i provide the following scenerio.(as seen repeated over and over in counciling cases) Maybe it can help you determine where yours is:
1.a Man and a Woman get married, anticipating happiness.
2.Gradually, the Husband seems to forget or overlook little things that demonstrate thotfulness. Or he may actually have never learned what-things represent thotfulness to a wife. (me and maydn are at this point)
3.The wife is Hurt by this neglect, but she is willing to give her husband the benefit of the doubt, concluding that his oversight is possibly due to his being tired, too busy, or under distracting pressures.
4.Like most wives, she dosnt say anything about what is going on in her mind since she dosnt want to seem to picky.
5.As time goes by, he becomes more insensitive to his wife. Its becoming clearer that he is basicly self-centered.
6.Time offers no improvements. He becomes extreemly selfish in his attitudes and behaviour.
7.Her reminders of how he used to be more loving, with requests that he show her more love, are met with expressions that reveal his lack of interest. It is obvious to her that he does not share her inthusiasm for maintaining a mutualy joyful relationship. He seems to protect an attitude of independence: You live Your Life, I'll Live Mine. Or he may project an attitude of indifference: Everything Seems Fine to Me. Why are you always looking for trouble.?
8.(eye like this number) Tho she is searching for ways to ReT-store or even Build the One-ness that is so-vital to her emotional-well-being.(.An Eight-knit-stitch.), he has determined that her need to talk about their problem is just simply that she loves nagging.
9.Her spirit is wounded even more now. She interprets his attitude toward her as personal rejection.
10.she quickly recognizes that he is more concerned about her responses to him sexualy than he is about her emotional responses. He is not living with her in.an.understanding.way. and when she tries to explain her needs to him, she finds he really does not want to hear(t) her concerns.
11.She feels disloyal and guilty because she is reacting negatively to him and his insensitive manner toward her. She does not like the feelings of anger that arise when she thinks about him.
12.She may become openly unstable emotionally.
13.Realizing their marriage is in trouble, she asks him if they can get help. Having seen'HER'emotional instability, he responds:I dont Need Any Help. You're the One that Is Having the Problem. If you want some help, get it for yourself, but dont try to include me in your problem.
-end-
(dummy, he just missed the problem.!) This scenrio has been described to me.by.many.women who wanted me to councel their husbands. it reveals far more that.how.a marriage is doing. It also reveals why i say husbands control their wives emotional well-being...is tied to how.responsive.and.caring. their husbands are.../his refusal or.inability. to responsibly manage his role as (team)spirit leader will only.ADD.to his wife's emotional instability.(check) numerous wived i have talked to have questioned.their.sanity.for they felt like they were being torn-up inside, being shredded emotionaly.by.the.lack.of emotional responsiveness on the part of their husbands...(god forgive me maydn...what a strange(beautiful) creature you are) (cutting themselves? xanga.com\cutter-blogs?...if this is the wives...what must the daughter-world look like? i just want to die.)
;;Wives Attempt to find their own Solutions;
(seven ladies danggling = six geese a laying starts here)
my comment:
these are aweful expensive gifts to be giving to just one maiden...i wonder if my sister knows about all this? and who is my sister? she is the people living all around me...suffering these same thing...if god is a spirit...no wonder he cannot commune with man...what a mess! we are all dead.heads.
book continues:
.WHERE.is a wife to go? when her husband refuses to minister to her spirit and makes her feel rejected.(.wore.slut.trash.kill yourself.unloved:these used to be just-words on a cutter-blog...but now they are much more.) WHAT can she do to fill the gaping-wound in her spirit caused by the increased distance she senses between them emotionaly?(wtd) Lacking any leadership, and severly affected by the disharmony, she will.set.out.to discover what is wrong.(.yikes! boyfriends damaging girlfriends is way worse than writeable.)
.../they develop.their.own.theories of WHY...they will.then.conclude WHAT it will take to survive.(drugs tranquilizers boys sports etc.) Meanwhile: uncare-ing and insensitive husbands not involved in meaninful communications will grow increaingly 'Baffled' by what they find at home...(is that her?)
;;1.The No-Problems WIfe;
THis wife may resign from being an active member, passive, routine in duties, no joy, no excitement.(looking back:my sisters face reflected Joy that always got attention...now i believe i can trace it back to a boy and a girl who made a commitment to stay together.)...passiveness will add to the gilt feelings, giving up is not the answer, but she is drained. she feels sexualy 'USed'.(check)pretending everything is fine when it is not. husbands are unaware that she is giving-up , ironicly he feels things are improving...for their wives have stopped complaining.../at some point she decided to end the farce. she is leaving the marriage game. if husband asks she says'///'You woodnt understand anyway. maybe she admits to finding a new lover, when she hasnt.../dont think she leaves with joy. guilt-ridden almost to point of dispair, she believes it cant be worse than staying.../if the husband will submit to self-examination(reading this book) in order to learn how to care. (.thats why eye like maydn...she does that to me. )..it may take up to a year and.a.half.(break the cycle) but the impact of a changed husband full of love and care is atone-ishing.
;;2.The Dying-Inside Wife;
p.117
2nar1-09.txt - - - -
v1.13.9.comments kept
for book by ken nair
mind of woman.
in words for man.
thots from meer1-09.txt
(see streem-8 same date)
were cut out to keep it clean.
but are Now
reposted here as:
2nar1-09.txt
2nar1-09.??
she says...
i know you want under
my skirts...i under
stand that and want
my skirts over you...
you can nut-push me
over and 'Ram' me
as hard as you wanted
two.
hhmm...comments...?
my book-thots say...
she wants to be wanted.
the things you do...
do-affect her emotions
and she cant help it.
she can only hide it by
garding her re-sponses.
women hate it that they
laff when you laff and
cry when you cry...
its in their designs
and they dont know why.
they add color to man.
she wants to:
1.hear your thots...
2.be included in thots.
3.have a say in your
decisions...
4.add her preferences.
your cards and flowers
and compliments are little
viktories...they
tell her of moments when
she had your attention.
somthing of her was desired.
somthing in her is favored.
note:
i can hardly figure-out
what im typing... this! ??.
(.more.)
thats why a girl age-16
will say:i want unprotected
sex with you.
if women reely 'dont' have
sex-drives chemicaly:as men-do.
than whats she 'desire'ing?
women want to know they
'have' your attention...
they crave it, as boys
lust at female-figures.
those sounds a woman makes
when you enter her are not
from super-stimulation of.
her-sexual-system.
those sounds are gratification
that she is getting 'all'
your attention...she dosnt just
'feel' she has you. she'knows'
somthing in her 'knows'
you are giving her 'all' your
attention in the act of love-
making...you have-to in order
to keep-up with the rythem.
thats why girls like dancing.
talking.games.and chores.and
repitition...where she and
boy is forced to keep-in-step.
she has the pleasure that she
is in-with-someone and that you
are with-her due to the
complex steps it takes 2perform
what your doing together.
its a great feeling.. to a girl.
wow! im keeping-up with him...
and he-me..we 'music' together.
but eye can hardly type this
cuz boys dont know 'what' im
talk-ing about..
..cuz guys dont gofer
girls for that reason...
just to'be'with them...?
how many times have eye herd
a girl tear-up with her guy
saying....dont you want to
'be' with me...?
guys hear the 'sex' side of
that statement...but not the
'emotional'fellowship she
is craving seeking to satisfy.
in him and in herself.
boys have-and need-it
but are blind to it.
.no...not boys..
they want to 'lust' and
feel their-own chemicals get
excited at spawning with
a pretty-looking-female...
'looking' meens..eye-candy.
note:chemicals-are'not'emotions.
they only tell a boy to get
very excited, drop your gard.
to boys...beauty is outword.
skin-deep. to a girl..beauty
is being 'wanted' and touched
in her heart-feelings for a
friend...an intimate-other.
someone who is a-talker.?
no...a communicator...
not just his thots...but
also his inner-feelings...
so she can be where he is...
able to sense her thots...
comment her emotions...
eg.how does that make you feel?
eg.that makes me sad to..glad to.
eg.you must feel awful about it.
it delights the girl that you
are sympothizing...empathy...
feeling for her...
but trying to solve-her-problems
gives her first feelings your not
'with her'...but against her.
stupid for being a certain mood.
he's not relating...not sensitive.
whereas a guys likes solutions,
a way to 'fix' a problem.
men view it as improvements
toward a goal.
and avoiding there feelings...
where-as women...
they want to express moods..
and be 'desired'in many ways...
in their looks...in-spirit...
mind...feelings..in-attitude.
honesty?
so we say they have...
many 'desires'...mostly for
inner character qualities.
thats why mayden's
good-afternoon wish? covers
so many character-qualties.
eg.i like your spirit.mind.etc.
itz what girls value.
those things and want
compliments...additions?
that you value them in one
of those areas and-or relate.
and understand it in them.
but..emotions...
to guys...its not even listed.
but getting chemicaly-excited
by a girls-apparell...is!
movies...mags...music...?
other chemical-excitements
drugs=alocohol...
another word for
character-qualties
(.that women love to muse upon.)
..is the word 'souls'..
.a neo-pagan term for your
fears...dreams.hopes...spirit..
everything in you invisible.
so a person who is mentaly
going bad is said to be
'loosing-his-souls.'..etc.
(.more.)
when a broken-hearted girl
says...'he said he loved me'
you must remember: love2guys
is mostly 'outword' attraction
and his chemicals going-wild.
but to a girl...
'i love you ' meens you love.
..the.person..inside her.
for everything she.is...its
words of commitment she hears.
two hearts that touch is always
a permanent connection.
when two lives touch...its forever.
so when you just walk-off
one day cuz your chemicals stoped
...she cannot understand.
but some girls notice
the truth: i love him and he
loves my body.....
guys will say...whats the
difference? cuz they dont
see there cood be 'more'.
note: i dont know if 'ANY'
thing im typing here is true...
input keeps coming and this
is my way of letting-it-out
so eye can sort it.
...im just thinking...
feeling that somthing very Big
is behind this topic...
and im getting warmer.
also eye dont want to be in a
ruined-relationship.
the book has the screems...
agruments we all have heard...
as boy-girl are fighting...
but then it tells why...
and how to fix it...
eye love that!
eye want maydns honey-home
to be happy...so-sinfuly.happy.
compared to other homes.
and eye 'dont' want to be
the guy who dosnt know better.
who said it wood never happen
to me...(.damaged.)
so the girl-boy topic is
presently very 'HoT'.
(.more.)
maydn also typed in july-2008
killer 'pick-up' lines and
other easy-tips to get-the-girl
you want...
plus places you can take them
without having to pay-a-cent.
it all sounded... to-good.
cuz guys dont 'think' that way.
guys dont fall for 'lines'.
eye needed to be 'convinced'...
eye didnt understand the-mind
of a woman!
yes-you-can get them to 'feel'
for you...they cant help-it!
reading-emotion is her job.
as for not-paying a cent...
that also is true...one wife
was entertained by a man who
kept her busy with vacations
expensive gifts...clothes...
for moonth!
yet in just five days she
was with her original mate...
cuz there she felt 'belonged'
'needed'...where her mate
wood open his heart and talk.
yes...a walk in the park...
with an open-hearted all-inclusive
man, will 'satisfy' a girl more
than a ticket to disney-world.
another shady example of this
is the harlot about to marry a
poor farm-boy...she said: i worked
the dirt on my dads farm till the
bank took it away...after that
i was determined to marry a-rich
man from the city...all eye got
was a few pretty-dresses and a
broken heart...the farm-boy said:
yep, we will never be rich...
but then...i will never break your
heart. either.
another shady boy-girl example:
two men 1930.(1990) went to a
covention of wine and women.
their wives had forbiden it.
when their wives found out they
planned their deaths...but soon
the two women entered a bargain
of which man wood confess first.
confession is good for the soul.
one did confess his dishonesty
and his wife rewarded him.
the other wood not and tried to
change the topic to a camp-trip.
which emotionaly-hurt his wife...
(.men only notice the anger.)
you see...going to the convention
didnt bother her...it was that he
was dishonest about being there.
women crave spiritual qualities
in their mate...and change plans
rapidly to seek the best in and
for their mate.
whereas a man wood not change
plans to kill that easily.
but then, he wood not plan-to
kill for reasons a woman wood.
territorial disputes or theft.
but not spiritual crimes:dishonesty
unfaithfulness,emotional-abuse.
(.more.)
in the next seens eye see 'how'
hurtfull spirit-crimes are...
i can-not imagine the pain
a girls heart must have...but
i can record the results:
some of them reely-do go mentaly
off...they cant cope with it
anymore...the emotional wounds
make them 'snap'. some wont talk
others seek revenge murder...
any man will do...woman too?
its like a divorce...a death...
but its in the heart...her hope
is broken...and if you can-not
hope-for-hope...all is lost.
there is no evil anymore...only
darkness...cuz the truth is to
painfull...she just wants to breeth.
live a lie...and die.
there is nothing else for her.
why can not a man see that?
men lack emotion. dont need it.
women lack emotional-stability.
got to much of it.
they are designed to 'need'
each-other. its gods guarantee
that they will not-try to live
without loving...his great law:
thy neighbor...as thyself.
or at-leest they wont get far.
before they notice how-much
good-er...it is...to love
one-another...as God...has loved
them.
(.tears.)
(.next comment.)
kindness and friendly-ness are
words with deeper meenings to
a girl...
at a store eye was
watching a guy in a wheel-chair
reading out-loud different
birthday-cards in the card-rack.
trying to find a good-one.
in no-time he had girls from
all over the store standing
around him and listening...
he had developed a-talent a guy
with legs has no-time for.
note also that cards are geared
to be-emotional...somthing that
will naturaly draw a womans ear.
(.more.)
girls want that one-on-one dance
with another-persons soul.
that intimate connection of mind
heart.wills.spirits.
just like mayden had said...
but eye didnt understand her...
cuz the only 'emotion' eye had
was for an intimate connection
of bodies...
eye still dont understand her...
im getting the logic of why.
but im not feeling-it with
my heart...yet...if ever?
so eye found a book that helps
guys identify their-own emotions
and those needs of a wife.
this book:
title:Discovering the Mind
of a Woman.
....by Ken Nair.
isbn.0-7852-7811-7
thomas nelson publisher.1995
...is teaching me to know
her mind and identify my own
emotions...then share them.
be with her...not just take
her to-places...but actually...
be 'with' her...on a level
eye didnt know was in me.
guys: please re-wind the tape
and play somthing that gives
you an emotion...it only lasts
a moment in guys...but soon
you can sense one...identify it.
and share it with your wife.
its like learning how to read.
one pupil was slow...so the
teacher found somthing she
loved...her brother...and
asked her to spell his name.
very soon she was spelling and
reading other words...all cuz
a teacher got-where-she-was.
and used somthing dear to the
pupils heart...to open up a
whole new world...to her.
eye hope this makes maydn happy.
and catches a glimpses of what
guys have problems with and what
her love does for me...
i know it-will-make me happy.
and a better man.
input is breaking threw...
into my thots eye never seen...
and what you allow in your thots.
will eventually sink...into your heart.
girls are quick at that.
but guys are slow...almost dead.
eye like to think we-guys
are just 'careful' thats all.
one thing is true...
god had an important message
of redemption.
to be felt with the heart.
not the head. and guys...
realy are dead! its like
sleeping beauty...only guess
'who' is sleeping.
...spiritualy dead.
and needs to wake-up...
mayden told me of this
wake-up and redemption-nearing
...but eye understood it not.
may-be she knows all this...
but im still waking...
and am glad of her
patience...hoping eye may
yet find for her things
about-herself she didnt know.
and about a guy...
but if not...im sure we
both will have a good-laff
cuzz god made us very
amazing...and we know we are
only scratching the surface...
of all-that-he-created and
colored...and made.
-no end-
(.next comment.)
you never hear books on
girls wanting to understand
men and their minds...
why is that?
is there no mind in a guy
for a girl to explore?
its all bin reduced to
chemicals and logic.
where are the garded-fruits
of love.joy.peace.patience.
gentleness.kindness.faith.
these are heart-problems.
(.more.)
this post 2nar1-09.txt
meens one-for-all in jan2009
and a girl deffenatly wants
a guy to start expressing his
'all' threw her...and to-her...
eye know-it-now with my head.
but 'when?' will my heart cry
with joys of the practice
she calls a ' relationship.'
-no end-
(sigh) men are so-insensitive
no wonder some woman give-up
or try somthing else to fill
the emptiness...
-
(.next comment.)
i think im saying maydn is
more than a sex-attraction...
she has a heart that can open
your-heart to worlds...
untold pleasure....she is
not just a body...she is a
heart...i thot i knew that.
i thot i knew that.and
this book shows i dont.
i had no idea what a beauty-
creature she is...fully designed
to show-off joys eye cannot see
nor discover...without her...
she warned me of this...but i
didnt see any connection...
words dont have meenings till
you experience 'Her.'..
afterword you find out why she
used those words...
the same words you always knew.
have a girl-ish meening too:
love.respect.be-with.in-love.
feel.desire.listen.have-you.
compliment.jealous.jerk.cute.
if you-knew what such words
meen to a girl...you wood just
die!!!.
girls have a
totaly different vocabulary.
but mayden says differences
are good...cuz when they
spin together...
beautiful fabrics form.
legends...life.
romance. fantasy...farms..
feelings...houses...
and a Home.
(.eskimo-kiss.)
hearts are not so different.
boys just dont use a heart
for emotional things.
like they shood.
like they cood....if a girl
wood show them how.
-no end-
-
-
(.next comment.)
(.day two.)
morning thots.
thots i get just before
waking up are always
deepest and clearest.
iAM half-way threw the
Ken-Nair-book and new-thots
spinning want to settle here...
mem:sensitive-items,wedges,
and mate-ing-pools.
::::.THe Most Beautiful things
in the World are not seen or
touched, they are felt with
the Heart.::::
so-says the plaq on our wall.
if only i had known this boy-girl
study wood bring new life to
such words...a new light-ing.
cuz we men are apple-heads!
(.more.)
do girls have to kick your
sensitive-items to stir an
emotion?...atleest she knows
where your thots are afterword.
she can then relate...
and sympathize with you where
your emotions are...since you
do not go to where hers are.
she needs her emotions touched.
not her body...did it ever
occur to you boy that she dosnt
know where you are if she
dosnt kick? you never thot of
that did you?
your mind is way-off from hers.
you got your mind on territory
land.tools.places...things...and
pritty girls...did you ever think
maybe she isnt interested in those
at all?
then what does she?
why cant she be as boys?
listen closely to her boy...
there is somthing about you.
you never enjoyed nor valued.
your capacity to love..feel tears.
want intimate talks...share spirits
have emotions...useless to a boy..
but vital to a man...so.have them!
(.more.)
eye have seen girls throw boys...
the young are playful.
some girls re-alize they must
pin-the-boy-down and make-him
feel threatened...
so he will show .fear..anger.
.or express..true-lee..
'heart-felt' expressions...
girls sense your attitudes!...
broken-spirit. oR when you
share your thots to amuse-her...
but not your heart...to include her.
your life-longing desires.
your willingness... your dreams.
if you can-not understand her...
at-least 'amuse'-her..intertain..
be kind...she will do the rest.
(.more.)
if kicking and throwing dosnt work.
women will use 'wedges' to get
your attention...things valuable to
you...they will not return to you.
using it to get your attention
focused on her...get emotional.
at-leest 'have' some emotion.
so she can side-with your feelings.
woman love this...
heart-tugging stuff...
know why?...the guy is confused.
not thinking logical..but emotional.
why is she doing this?
she knows boys need their toys...
why is she being such a brat...
and she wonders...why is he not...
'relating' with me...getting with
my emotions and my desires for
spritual-qualities...relations.
talking his heart and feeding me
the favour and affections of
loyalty.honesty.bla.bla.bla.
yes.yes.guys 'know' the words.
they are committed to
their heart-friend.
but this heart-friend is not a boy.
this one needs you daily...
not just montly compliments.
she wants wonderful faces of
your love for her.
tasting the feelings...
exchanging them again and again.
all-day and in every-way.
yes totaly un-neccessary to a boy
who dosnt follow his emotions...
eye love her...she 'knows' that.
but a girl must 'feel' it.
not just the facts...the reality.
exchanging the feelings
with gifts.gestures.words.heart-talks
'Is-Is-IS...needful to a girl.
'know'ing facts of your love dosnt
amuse her...'show'ing it feeds her.
feeds her inner-most needs.
she is a woman..and will always be
that way...and will seek it in other
places...if you cant heart-say eye
love you...to her heart...daily.
your not trying to 'convince' her.
your trying to feed-her..dance with
her...keep in step...she needs so
little...but it goes along way.
she lives from the heart.
not satisfied with one-say-so.
she needs that love again and again.
she is like a leaky-boat.
keep working 'with' her..
not just 'for' her.
cuz her values and position in this
world are not and can-not be yours.
else she wood be chasing women and
making you more confused than you
already are.
(.more.)
Mate-ing-pools:
look at the 12-1-08 drawing
maydn pencil-drew...
look at the streem...
notice your streem flows
into pools 'she' made.
and not you.
thats cuz your love is sex.
it flows fast with lust...
but its very shallow.
its only skin-deep.
where all the excitement is.
but it leeds to the pools.
thats cuz maydns love is deep.
how deep are the pools...?
they only get deeper...
she wants you to have emotions.
share them...swim with her.
life is attracted to pools...
the fish are here...critters
prefer the slow-moving waters.
here you can focus on her...
the values of love...lifting..
heart-holding...feelings.dreams.
it o.k. to shed-a-tear...here.
(.next comment.)
You said women are 'emotional'
creatures...but you meen..'cute'
cuz boys dont 'get-emotional'.
but if girls drag-you-down...
or maydn get you into a pool.
you will find out what 'emotional'
is...she will show you it.
(.related.)
women do-not value a liar.
it hurts them...women are sensitive
to spiritual un-rightness.problems.
worse if they can proove you lied.
they feel de-frauded..deceived...
betrayed..but if you confess your
faults..they are just as quick to
forgive-you...
it cood be a person lies cuz he has
bin hurt to many times. women are
happy to help-heal a broken<3hart.
they re-act to emotions more...
and feel responsible if wronged.
but i am now sure women wood
kill-trap a man for pay also.
(.more.)
men lack 'emotions.'
but women lack emotional-stability.
God made them that way to 'need'
each-other. and so-have feelings
for another-person.
and that is somthing very important
in full-filling his holy-law.
which says to love one-another...
but now they can 'feel' it.
(.ten-commands describe how.)
(.more.)
so boy and girl drink deeply from
one-anothers hearts. getting
nourishment and pleasure that is
both humiliating and satisfying.
so satisfying they both are soon
together again for more.
a fruit-tree needs to be watered
atleest once 2xa week...deeply..
over-watering makes it less sweet.
she puts his fingers around his
nuts to make him splurt wildly.
but he puts his arms around her
heart to make it gush.. uncontrolably.
her beauty 'Is' Her pistol.
and he is his...his enters the body.
but hers enters the heart.
both want rewards for planting-time.
end of 1.14.09 scribbles.
iAm sure glad some of my writings
dont make it to type on screen.
they get much worse than this...
merciful heavens!...jesu clean me..
so i can do my best...with
what-ever eye have left...
broken parts...and a willing heart.
-
-no end-
-i was looking at a strange
ink-pencil-water-color sketch
of a tree-man and a mayden.
while typing 1.14.09 ...
i guess thots of maydn keep me
'swiming for answers'...even
if eye make her hair curl...
and her teeth cringe.
in disgust.
- - - as the soup thickens.
-(eskimo-kiss)-
-(.burp.)-
-
and these are just thots
as eye Type:meer1-09.txt
the book for husbands.
hhm,
i wonder 'HOW' it-goes...
-
-
(.next comment.)
(.day three.)
Mirror..Mirror...
on the Wall...
who can type this
book just all?
i went to bed disgusted.
im doing this for maydn.
but this time the real
target...is me...and
thats hard to swallow.
i woke up to find all
i had typed was more
true than eye ever wanted
to believe..(.exciting!.)
And now eye am half-way
done marking the book.
its the kind of book you
want to capture on screen
without missing a beat.
but on screen i want it
to be presentable...not.
loooong...but eye-pleezing
and heart-teezing.
it will bee-so-for-me...
but maydn will give the
final word...and i hope its
the 'biggist' SMiLE:: eye
ever-saw.
love-stuff is
impossible without her...
she knows.
she makes it oooze
uncontrolably from my fingers.
her talent has
my heart hum-ming for her.
-
she is good at that.
and so many need it.
-
one half the book is now typed
and posted here (above)
more to come...
-
- so forgive if they got
...a little...viscious!
...grrr....(.burp.)
Anonymous said...
calr-109.txt - - - - v1-8-09 new lover-input.
knowing someone in all
their differences, ways
and preferences...is love!
xxx
Thursday, January 08, 2009 from xanga.com\cutter-blogs
I thought I would do a check in with all the people who read my page just to let you how things are going
well not too good i'm about to get kicked out of my school for attendence issues
my mom won't leave me alone and im cutting and its not even helping
nights are the worst time I can't sleep (and im on medication for it) so I stay up untill four (which is also why I dont go to school) and idk the night just seems to haunt me
and im trying to get into a school for kids with emotional problems but its really hard to get in and its complicated honestly I just want to be sent to residential treatment I don't have to see my mom the only thing is i'll miss my dog which shes really old and she would probably die while im there and i would miss my nieces I dont know how to describe my pain other than like an aching just awful pain
I'm trying to hang in there
its a struggle to stay alive
and keep from going home and swallowing all my pills and being done with it
8:16 PM - 1 view - add eprops - add comments - email it
xxx
Monday, January 05, 2009
Sun-day Misty-Day Mondayvery awkwardly i tried to put words to mouth to explain what i am thinking (-right now?- damn i hate typing, but it has become a passionate detail of computer input - it is much quicker than hand-writing and the pony-express / plus Sir Loverly Honeybear holds my documents and signature in a sort of randsome for my thoughts ?)
if i sign then i sign with heart - because i do love you. signed xxxxx xxxx. always.
i try even harder to attach heart to my words. especially when my heart is so fluttery and giddy-upity. i just giggle and blush and wonder if Sir Loverly Honeybear is feeling as excited as i am. mayb he isn't so i try to subdue myself. then after we call it a night/ or day, my heart swoons all around and i remember all the loverly things i wanted/needed to say. so i continue to try and write things down so that next time i can say say them clearly. that may not work though, as Sir Loverly knows - you can't read your notes if you get all "googoo brained" and can't see (or find) the page.
ps Today i found a gorgeous trail that runs approximately 20 miles through 4 towns (that i know of so far) when i get a chance i will ride it. hopefully on horseback, if not then on bike. i will pack a lunch and see what little hide-aways i can find.
extra-special love and sunshine wishes to my deerest Sir D. Loverly Honeybear B.(ee)
1:38 PM1 viewSunday, January 04, 2009
New Daythinking thinking
boom!
feeling feeling
uncomfortable!
i think that this uncomfortable feeling is a sign of new growth.
there is much change happening in my family and in my home.
i see potential for Good. things to happen.
My Love is sending me into unfamiliar territory.
I fear that he may want me to leave him alone. and that this loverly thing we have been researching has just gotten exhausting. the heart gushes. the uncomprimising need to express these loverly feelings and thoughts. the heart attacks that keep coming everyday. the confusing idea of being so far apart yet so close together. the obligations of everything else beyond eachother and our heart beats.
There must to be a Good balance to research here.
I need my Sir Loverly to hear my heart. If i didn't have him and his wild ideas, here would be a much more confused young woman before you.
He needs to keep his goals at hand. I love him. He wants 10 years to define his stepstone and care for his boys.
That doesn't leave much room for me. Nun in fact.
I can never be a boy. don't really wish to. except that i'd like to be part of his goals. i enjoy having time with him. especially when i know that it is his most-valued time. 10 years? where will i be.
he helps me to wants to define the 10 year goals. i seem to reject goals far too easily. goals don't leave area to wander. and i am very much a wonderer and wonder how Good of a life i can make wandering through the wilderness. when i wander ... that is when i hear The Father's voice the loudest and clearest. and that is what i truly search for. through All of life's ups and downs and inbetweens i seem to find myself somewhere each day hoping that The Sweet Lord will bless me with His callings. He calls; I do. I try my best anyways. When i find no Good work for my hands then i am truly lost.
so Now my question is what do i do? where do i go?
i can surely learn to knit. that is a soul desire. beyond my man and his need for socks
His Will for my hands. i am calm in that. i can relax and full-fill my soul because i know that my free-will is directed most properly.
only... sometimes that direction moves me out of my comfort-zone and that makes me feel uncomfortable. i don't like this anxiety. i think it ages me. no. i need to grow. aged or not.
wisdom is not age.
so with some wisdom, mayb hoping for Sir Honeybear to make me a house...wife and let me cook and mend and wash and garden and sex his life --- is probably not a wise choice in this day and ... age. mayb i am hoping that he might cradle me in a lifestyle of simplicity and happiness made of True-Spirit and Healthy-Work.
oh wait! he already does with For-Hope-And-Love-To-Earth. He has made me a basket, and now i believe he wants to care-fully send me down stream to find safety beyond him. Mayb he will let me ret-turn.
What did i learn in this tribal village?
to make baskets and sexy socks for naked feet worthy of placing next to warm sacks of precious seeds, to be care-full, to accept love in ret-turn, to honor a truly royal king, to be faithfull and gentle, to continue to live and learn, and most important to follow God's callings.
I do not believe He is calling me away. I believe He asking me to look forward to a bright and beautiful future. and to learn to truly forgive. and to learn how to take-care of Myself. and graciously enough... to learn how to make a solid earthy home/family with a Good kind-man worthy of my unconditional commitment, praise, and affections. (i say gracious because this is exactly what my spirit is crying for.)
the last true direction that i recieved is: "Feed my sheep and finish the grass-chart."
I am also terrified to move by the woods. it is something that i have been trying to understand from years ago.
Follow the straight road and find a strong roof to live under. (from earth-reading)
that is all for now. i think i may be cleaning my desk today.
First: I will call upon Sir Loverly Honeybear to see what he has up his sleeve. Mayb i can ask him to read The Bible with me on Sundays. before or after we make love with eachother. (a scheduled agreement of nature)
not a "date"!= a scheduled agreement of nature = winter agrees to meet spring and grow loverly things
2:26 PM1 viewFriday, January 02, 2009
Closer to NOWas i sit longer to read and to write here (my back is aching feriously and my legs have gone numb and my shoulders just can't carry this much more.)
i read on with alittle bit more to add for the closing of 2008 and the beginning of 2009:
Listen closely young-man, i never began this 8 with a goal or a study in mind (though i very much enjoy evry minute of it, and do find it usefull for others needing to know in the future) (your little-boy voice makes me laugh and cry and your ruff-man makes me feel safe and warm) (i wood be happy to have you as a father - even though your discipline is a bit harsh) (you as my brother is very very real and i hope that we will remain best of friends through our relations in life)
after care-full review of your posts-in-review of 2008 and the future of 2009. i have decided.........
to set you free (again) (and again)
i love you for the things you enjoy doing the most. i really really do! how fun is that? for me! you do what you like and i get off on listening to you, reading you, having you.
and you are probably right that "marital affairs" should be saved for marriage. ummm... sweetheart do you know what that means for us? i'm not sure yet. help me think this out wood you?
either we are being drawn closer together or we should be punished for trying to be so close together (all for the sake of... what?... marriage? i don't get it.
i can probably stop talking sexually to you if it means saving our friendship... except... well... i will probably still be thinking it and really how honest is that? Isn't the honesty part here what we R really enjoying? the parts that we don't have to gaurd cuz we know we R protected here?
yah, honestly i have to admit that the sex-ee petting stuff is either 1 or 2 on the enjoyment-list. Ooo that would be a good list to make. remind me of that later wood you?
Anyways, enough of this sexiness (even if it is only to prove a point - oh know - i can't help it - but i can always try again) (even if i can only think of yours and mine when i say that word point - mmm - good stuff)
ok off to bed. and i mean it when i say that i want to do right by you (be honest to/with you) (when i say do-right by you... i think also do-you-right... sorry, i'm really trying here)
and when i am in bed i will only say praises for you. and i will no longer tell you later about how i strip off all my clothes and wrap myself in my soft warm smelly-good blankets hoping for the blankets to be you. and then i pet the kitty for you too. (and i won't bee punishing myself for that one either)
Love, more soon,
good-night dearest friend. you make the sunrise even brighter because you are you.
no more XO (mayb) to my sexy beast. only affectionate embraces and ravishing kisses to a charming prince when the time is right.
11:06 PM1 viewPresent - read this part after the part where you came... home.You r right, and contrary to popular belief I do like to say that. to you. I just don't like to be wrong.
U R right: i do think of agriculture as a business, and drive my bloody gas-powered car around, without a real choice, to two unreliable j-o-b-s that couldn't even pay the bills if i tried, and i use my social security number as if it were a form of identification, and i buy my food from the Federal Department of Agriculture, and my water has chlorine in it which could very possibly make me blind, and i have federal loans that could take me ten years just to pay off the (illegal) interest from college... yeup
messy stuff that is not very romantic and I know you "do not need this grief". So i hide. I bare with it. Praying, hoping, anything for this situation to improve. I do still believe that i am much closer to removing mysef and my girl from the rat-race than i had anticipated. All thanks to a very strong and sexy (sorry they just go together like that -if you have the first quality, you have the other.) man.
if i could just make us/ take us away to that sustainable farm with even a remote resemblance to our story-time map. Then I will! if not for you or for me, for my daughter. we are far enough out in the country to escape the violence and crime of the city but the attitudes out here are fully confusing. it is where country mouse meets city mouse and i don't want to be a mouse at all!!! it is where the amish take advantage of the city folk and the farmers only grow subsidized corn for the government. there are still some very small communities that enjoy country fairs and church meetings. but they are being destroyed from the inside out. starting with the children. these are things that i can see very clearly now. thanks to you. really really. thankyou. i know what not to take part in. i do however observe very carefully the workings of these systematic betrayals of a community. i observe and i plan. for what can be destroyed can also be rebuilt anew. and mayb i can help preserve it for a time if i remember how.
9:31 PM1 viewSince You Came Home '08-'09You have brought up a lot in the past couple months. Since you been home. I have been struggling this season to center myself (find my path). Without boys! Me and my girl are trying to make a home that is safe and full of light and little blessings to cherish. Mayb someday we will let a boy in besides Grandpa and Sir Honeybear. We can trust Grandpa, he helps fix things and doesn't ask for anything in return but a smile. Now Sir Honeybear is very very sweet but he is surely unsure about his place with a woman in the wilderness. Yes, he can come home to eat whenever he wants to. And yes he always has something wonderful up his sleeves. and he fixes things almost as dependable as Grandpa. yes, he's learning to be a good man. and please don't tell Grandma and Grandpa....
Sir Honeybear is amazing when he's naked and he is quite the considerate lover. No no, he hasn't really touched me yet or kissed me really on the mouth. Ohhh but i let him kiss me in other places. Really i let him do whatever he wants because he has much respect for my kissable parts. Either that or he's really scared about what these things might lead to. Cause I may kiss him back and he definately likes that idea a little too much. Especially because we have not made honest vows to eachother in front of our family. we r probably frightened by the reality of that. I mean... do we really know eachother well enough to do anything even close to that? probably not?
When would we know? Some say you know right away. Did we know right away? I sort of knew that whatever kind of man wood have the ideas and values that I found Sir Honeybear to have is surely the [type] of man that I would want to have and to hold. Plus we have some similar interests so it is easy to get along. And then there is "The Magic". yes, though i really don't want to say it outloud cuz it is almost frightening... The Magic is so very strong. The only way to explian it is God's Magic. I find it a miracle that 2 strange people such as Sir Honeybear and I could find something possibly blessed together under God. what a very , strangely, gooood God feeling. Read 'his' posts cuz he seems to feel the same way.
Although he does get rather rambunctious and a little viscious when i am quiet or introverted. What i want is to be able to look him in the Eye and let him know that i love him and that we can be there for eachother with or without a common project or a defining story or even a physical body. He knows what i am saying when he is alone and can feel me by his side. -another human soul to connect with and be known together with approval in The Lord All Mighty's Eyes.
My femail-heart-parts sure are in-love with a man who really should be 'local'. Yet he is not and that is very confusing. What is the lesson/purpose? Mayb we wood have molested eachother right away and not gotten to know eachother emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I am sure we need to work on these things lots more cuz i really want him to know what i know about the Lord and His Will and Testament. Though I also very much realize that one can never completly "know" a person because we are constantly growing and learning new things. So as a couple, a couple of friends, a couple of people we must learn to grow together or begin to grow apart. Also two that grow apart may in fact come together another time to kiss eachother's lives again.
(I am righting this as i read along with d-post 08-end)
no-end 08 is flowing into 2009 quite nicely. except it seems My Love is becoming restless and he feels confined and trapped by.........me? no!
try not to typedy type and if you have better things to do than send your thoughts to me/about me., then do-it! i don't want you prisoner to your heart-throbs. you'll see. when it is time to run you will run and forget all about this wordy nonsense. (that by the way is very rewarding to a project - your stepping stone might appreciate it later on)
though none of it is necessary. strictly voluntary and if i might add - a little bit fun and very feely-good most of the time. a sort of realease.
oh no. here i go (again) while typing that.. i started to feel what Sir Honeybear really does to/for me. realease! here i am and i think i'm gonna cum again. oh, how does this happen? it is miserable (cause his body is not next to mine) yet it is unbelievable (cause i feel so blessed to be able to have this with another person).
Because wether I admit it easily or not This Is True. True Love.
Now are we running across borders to hold eachother dearly? Sometimes, but not physically. I think mayb we need some more practice. Practice on how to be two that are one. << yes, i like that. that is a Good way to say it.
NOW. enough with this yucky squishy lovey stuff. (though i could run straight to my room right now, close the door, and pray that Sir Honeybear shows up in time to help me cool myself down)
so what does my fantasy Bear do? (i guess i'm one of those odd girlz that really doesn't spend time thinking about fantasy options. - generally i don't like to set myself up for a let down - you know, when you build something up and then reality cums and kicks it over. No i tend to try to find fantastic attributes about what is in front of me. Sometimes that can be misleading too because when you try to see the good, the nasty stuff is not so apparent. seems sort of naive.... to some. Seems sort of fantastic to me. Keeps me happier than most.)
I guess if i had to make some stuff up. Fantasy Bear would love spending time with me. he would take me hiking and camping and hold my hand as we crossed the streems. He would be a grreat father-figure and be good and caring towards our children. He would be a dependable provider and a reliable friend. He would be strong and honest in leading our family into righteous goals and activities. He would never be mean or angry.Ever! he would say things like "oh Honey, I could never be angry at you. I just feel upset that you always want me to just get naked and be with you and spend hours and hours of each day making love to you and nothing else. Sometimes a man wants to do dishes and other things to please his woman, other than take her to bed all the time." Then he would ravish me just to prove his point and if i had to put words in his mouth he would say things like. "Oh damn honey you are so sweet and the smell and taste of your neck is making me sweat and my mouth water. Let me slip off your panties for you so we can wrap them around my cock. I want you to rub and tap on my sensitive stuff while you stroke me with your tongue. and if you want to get rough i won't mind. use your feet too please. cum here i will show you."
Yes stuff like that sounds so very good. yucky, lovey and squishy. just how i like it.
NOW. wood you cum here fast. iam going to trap your naughty go-fur and hold him down with the ball of my foot while you remove my stockings for me so i can tie him up and make him beg for realease.
NOW. i am going to post this. i need you to understand that sex is not all that i want or all that this is about. i am however extremely feminine and do have very feminine drives and needs. more than most mayb. i am sure. i am ok with that.
as i read .more. and find .more. time for .more. i will give .more.
oh man, the things i want to do to/for you.
?no more x o? ????????
I think i understand. We have gotten very explicit with eachother. i think we could probably do more. i mean mor explicit. i don't see anything wrong with it. except we are not using our time to get to know .more. about eachother and eachother's ideas and thoughts. and i think that is where our true passion is.
Also, there is .more. to life than just US. other things we could be doing. just know that when i am doing other things, sometimes i am doing you in my mind. [oops]
NOW. mayb we should post 2009 into wants and needs instead of dreams and wishes. of course wants and needs leed to dreams and wishes.
ie: in the year 2009 i want to learn how to fast .... i need to build familial relationships and create a healthy and stable home for my daughter. I dream of making a solid home with my True Love and for my child. I wish to be more healthy and fit.
Next: mayb i am tugging too much ON your sexual parts. Though I recognize the spiritual purposes i also believe in a human's natural abilities. I don't let false things like "satan" rule my life and make me feel bad about myself. I know when i'm doing wrong cuz i have One Power in my life (and that is who I call God - the father of creation) Be it He or She; God tells me when i am wrong or right. I don't believe in a devil; therefore it has no power over me. even if you do. i don't have to. if you think i could go to hell it doesn't cause circumstance in my life because "i do NOT believe in hell". I do however believe in a bad place in life where people get trapped in fear and anxiety towards the future and doubt in themselves and sadly a burning anger for the case of their lives.
Now. God is here now. If you let him. If you open your eyes to something real. To the gifts and heavenly treasures that are set before you Now. Let The Lord into your world you call life on Earth. He created it and it is miraculous and glorious and mysterious. To ask for more from such a gracious God is nearly selfish. Selfishness can lead to punishing lonliness.
Your life Now is a gift to treasure Now. And if you choose to use your free-will to serve your glorious God who in fact blessed "free-will" upon you then you shall find a different type of fulfillment in your living life. You will find your eternal spirit. Which is God's greatest treasure, for it is a part of Him.
RE: rules-08
{{{{{{{{ i do want to play-house with you.
but only cuz i love these earth-ee walls.
i dont want this beutiful place to be
a place for Hate.
so i thut a bit on what i knew about Hate.
so i cood set some Rules for our Home.
1.Please dont destroy things i feel are
under my care. you can move stuff,bury,
borrow, bend, break, buy, but: do not
DESTROY stuff..(.2make un-recoverable.)
2.Please TELL me when somthing i say oR
do makes you angry. cuz i honestly dont
notice it.(.and that makes it worse.)
3.Dont talk 'about' the people you live
WITH. cuz you LIVE with them. they put-
up with you, and no one else is bold or
crazy enuff2do that. sometimes we forget
how much it takes to love that-way.
4.re-schedule times with maydn.
cuz sometimes neglect, can feel as bad
as hate.
-
and that maydn... is all i know about
HATE. cuz when i got it. blood flows,
nothing is happy, i dont like it.
i dont want anyone to catch it.
found this on a class-room wall:
great minds talk of ideas.
average minds talk of events.
small minds talk about people.}}}}}}
I very much agree with your rules. i like them even. even though i don't so much like rules.
i think i've already broken every one of these rules.
ummm... not intentionally really...
so what now? what do i do? i can continue to try to do right by you and these House Rules that you set forth. but will there be a number five? is mutual Respect enough?
I also try not harbor hate. as quickly as it comes it goes away easily. though that repulsive feeling may arrive from time to time it is not the angry monster that you think. it is a simple emotion no more powerful than any other. in fact Love can be considered it's Mate.
how?
There is a very fine line between these two emotions (everybody has them/ bad or good). Some say Love and Hate are the same emotion with positive and negative degrees.
I hate to feel like i am being lied to. i thought for a minute that your strawberry-me-recording was something you did intentionally. and if you did then that would tell me that something deceptive was going on. you see, because... you are not God and do not have my permission to record me without telling me about it first. God is understanding and a fair-judge. most people are not. so yes, when it is time for my judgement that will be between The Sweet Lord and me. and if he happens to have a recording of me and Deudame making love on the telephone then so be it. He need not ask.
Anyone else must gain my express permission. Thankyou. I hate you letter: Over.
Now. I do however like the fact that i now have a recording of me and my sweet Sir Honeybear speaking nervously to eachother on the phono-line.
forgive me if i over-react to things you might not expect. i will try to tell you reasonably when i am upset about something.
Rule #1 Feel free to speak your truth. (if you need time for yourself to think, just say so)
--seperate
[I am the type of girl that meets prospective suitors in the library... or the grocery store...not online in some scary obtuse fashion. I prefer...let's go see a movie, or...let's go fuck in the corn field.))]
this wasn't really meant for you. this was for a someone that may have considered me an internet-conquest. but now i know that that is not you. i have never fucked in a corn field and i haven't gone to the movies in ages.
--seperate
What i really want is to build a home on a farm. i don't want to be the type of girl that meets prospective suitors at all. not anymore. that just doesn't even seem interesting anymore. it never really did honestly.
I am xxx-streemly xxx-cited about you and your person. you give me hope for mankind. which i believe was your intention. hopefully i am doing something of the same womanly-kind to/for you. even if it is with my... ummmm... never mind.
my mind is where all this is. yes my mind is really somewhat ... perverted. i like sex. i like to talk about sex. i enjoy it. i apologize for causing your... ummm. swelling spots to get hot and swell. i can however do more than that.
i hope that we have fun in lots of other ways too. i find you intriguing even when you are not... naked.in mind. i do like getting wild and raw with you. i thought that that was what we were trying to do.
i apologize again for finding your naked.mind very very.... attractive. and know/no that fucking is not what i have in mind. making love with you is much too important. even if you do try to do-it to me when i am not in the mood.
Again:
i can Bee your queen. Remember that a Good queen is humble. and this one is somewhat embarassed to say "I am your Queen"
when i say this, even in my mind, i picture myself standing with you looking up my nose while my breasts are pushed up to my chin and my corsett is keeping me from breathing. sort of awkward and uncomfortable. Mayb i could rework that image. for you.
Otherwise i am fine with being the best woman you have or will ever have the glorious fortune of being in the same room with (or the same site for this purpose).
Next: i still believe that to give your power away is the only way to keep it. it is called freedom. and what you are doing with "building baskets" is taking your power to other people and hoping that they might find safety and/or wisdom in it.
i do not give myself away! i try to share myself with others because i am a treasure and treasures are meant to be shared not horded. that brings to another point.
PLEASE DO NOT POST what comes next>>>
{{{{{point:deleted baby. }}}}}}}
If that makes her a wore then get fuc*d. (i know you do not feel this. sometimes i think it should surface though. even if it is just for my own mind)
i'll say it again: I also do not have any diseases.
NOW:
"My most valued deepest treasure
is a simple Prayer! Jesu clean me.
so you are free to gide me.
to the very-things you-want me
to PAY attention to...NOW." --Love
and you shared this (gave it away) because this is everlasting and renewable. do you see,,, now?
The woman in me really really wants you to understand what 'she' means. (although "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" -- i always suspected that saying to be b.s. though i do think about it sometimes-- especially when my good intentions don't turn out as good as i wanted them to.)
Next: WOW. i did not expect xxxgnostic to be so xxx. lots and lots of inter-course for 2008. good-stuff. lots to learn. hope my mother doesn't trace it back to me.
Earlier:
"right now i have alot of work to do. i work work doing tasks
that i know i belong at because i am there. i want my own farm. i want to
be able to balance conventional society with sustainable lifestyles. It is
important. It will make my children stronger. I have a chance at it. I see
opportunity every where I look. My mind is not set. on location."
this still makes sense.
[what. will 'hap'n next. - ... - . . . did you say 'depth-of-love' . . i
need to report.. it only happend 5-times? but only when thuts of you
come. i need to report.. a strange rise in my chest. i dont know what it
is... its not those 'chest-aches' i always get those for you. this 'rise'
is different. like somthing in me is.. reaching for you.. almost bursts my
chest... then settles back down... quick as it came... like a
rooster-bird. i dont know what this is. its always about you. --Love 08]
does this still make sense? it does for me. i don't know what it is. it is still kind of scary.
3:20 PM1 viewMonday, December 29, 2008
quick, listeni can't post at streem 8 any more. the site won't give me a word to verify. nothing. i'm un-verifiable. therefore, i have no say. (blog-say)
please take what you need. whenever you need it. where ever you...
just please don't record our very private moments. not without telling me first. or later. i wood like to remember our early-love too.
your poems for me "I Did Too" for you "Because I am Your Queen".
As the breeze kissed your gentle face, I did too want to send those affections. When you Sire took the breath out of me with words of unadulterated love, I had to stop and catch my breath because I am your queen.
NOW. Please be gentle with me so that I may gather some strength to ReTurn your advances in a way that might please you into dizziness.
with feathers(wings) around my heart. may you find light beneath your feet.
5:02 PM7 viewsWednesday, November 26, 2008
copy typecopy copy copy -- So for these reasons I want to love. And when it hurts, I will give my heart to my mender, allow Him to heal me so that I may love some more. Spreading nothing but hugs and sunshine, smiles and truth, flowers and gumdrops everywhere I go!7:13 PM5 viewsSaturday, September 06, 2008
Suggested Food Items
Cheese
Jerky
Friday, January 09, 2009
["but the girl never wanted a queen.
she longs for a husband-mate-keeper.
so when boys say 'Eye-Love-You'
it meens...somthing else to a girl...
somthing 'He' may not want... "]
no.
'husband-mate-keeper' is incorrect ...in longing terms.
the girl wants to grow! old-er? and have a true-love friend. boy-girl.
husband-rye is Good, but for a girl... binding. Good too. however that is not what ladies "long-for".
I-Love-You. meenz: your R known. and I Love knowing you.
if he does not want that, then, find some body that you do have that "affinity" with.
Husbandry can be binding. lucky for a man to find that. for he will truly appreciate the help.work.
Mating is a natural choice. choice.
Keeper can keep themselves and if Good enough another... though, difficult.
sew... when a girl says "I love You": i know you, and i like what i know. you R my favorite. Ewe deserve to ram me as you may.
["so many treasures!
worring about what-people say?
(.politics.)
when mysteries of how things
works and grow in nature are
all around...
my greatest treasure is confidence.
that jesu will clean-me and gide-me
to balance them ALL in a beautiful-way.
to show me my-part(a-part)in them all.
he wants me to play...that part."]
-- He's put it All together Now. and I am so-oooooo-xxx proud of him. I could just hug him and pat him (loverlinglee) and xxx kiss him and say thankyou sweethart, I most surlea favor you. ( and then i think... i can't believe he did IT. yet he did! 2.5 years later he studied and learned (Hard) and produced something so beautiful I can not even begin to say how happy i am that life is so blessed to have a man like this in its' mist.) I Love 'him' that Deudamus.
-- so happy am i to be a part of his body- his rib of work.
-- Now he too knows. He is Gnostic. He knows "the mysteries of how things work and grow in nature are all around..."
-- ahhh freedom! liberty! to work to bring forth the best parts. with honesty and All Of Me. (most only use very small bits of themselves - there is a vast world of FREE energy. and some luckies aim to use it. his-story in the making)
-- oh 09 how settled it feels to be able to send mere love letters and trinkets of Love and cards of Foundation and locks of love and birdy nests for more birdy feathers. That Man has done most wonderful and glorious things for an amazing womans' Heart. <3. and more.....
-- this 'person'? (meaning meaning) is excited!!@ to get back to the-vortex and the natural-bounds of things.
-- Sir D. Loverly Honeybear Bee, do not think (4 1 moment) that U R escaping the ties of Ur Maydn. because IM fully prepared to knot (with my hair) you up and show you what heights and depths you can go to for .... Wuv/
Love is what God and All His electrons decide upon.
You'll know. I am sure you will.
Please tell my Dearest that he cood never be forgotten. and that I will work-ace to make him mine.best.for All-time.
8:37 PM1 view
nr4.txt - - - - v1-22-09
understanding a woman...
book by Ken Nair...
Jesu clean and gide us so we can
do what you want us to do.
to be a heart-part
of somthing intense today...
...write where you are.
Wow! what cood be more intense
than THAT!
be-ing rite where He wants
me2be at 'THIS' moment.
i bin wrestle-ing this book
four days now...and need a boost.
so eye got maydns
Friday, January 09, 2009 post
she posted in the tree-house.
the last part of nr3 also helped:
.../if the husband will submit to self-examination(reading this book) in order to learn how to care. (.eye like maydn...she does that to me. )...
eye know eye dont care.
Nor know 'how' to care.
This book teaches me...HOW.
...to.care.
book-parts nr1.2.3.4.5.6.?
are at: re-chat.streem-three...
days are dark and Rain-ee
so eye find time to type
heart-things.
Did you know! EaR-Wax is good!
it keeps no-see-ums.out.
so stop cleaning my ear.?
(.more.)
maydn duznt gofr 'husband'
nor the 'marriage' word.
cuz its 'binding' ???
...but eye grew-up under it.
so..re-word-it how you want.
im just typing the book.
and eye like this! I'M typing
a couple of lives eye dont
want to live...if i live them
now...by reading them...eye
cood be more careful with
maydn's heart of the future.
-no end-
(.comments:DAY TWO!.)
so i typed last night till
eye said 'Enuf!'
ending with some posts by
maydn: Jan.'08 and '09.
i shood-not have done that.
cuz i woke-up next morning
with her-luv-cords tide:tite
about my beating.heart.
she was making the 'tears'
cum-up for her again.
why does love hurt so much!
good-morning Honey-Bunny!
Grrrr...Honey-Bears WANT
their breakfast! but as eye
looked into her eyes...
eye-Yie-yie! passd-out again.
(.sheez beautiful.)
she reely 'duz' love...
and that hurts.(growing-pains)
so i want to 'Hurt'-back.
brite as the morning is...
i thot of how that book says
the most 'beautiful' things about
women eye have ever heard.!
and the plaq by our honey-window
says: 'To enjoy the Harvest, you
must first Labor in the fields.'
so i guess i:can kiss her with
more of 'that' till she lets
'go' of my teddy-bear-heart.
Hymn: Lord,
plant my feet On High-er ground!
so eye.type today chapter 'ten.'
why do eye give work my time.?
cuz where your treasure is...
there will your heart be also.
(.more.)
very-cold.
maydn switching to 'survival-mode'
made me think to re-view things.
keep circulation. not long in one place.
we move two or three times a year
cuz it keeps new-oppor-tunes open.
different places meenz different faces.
life has more colors that way.
but you dont notice it and dont care
if your always at one place.
maybe a 'visit' to an organic-farm
wood re-vive your 'd'-sent dreams.
oR just visit organicvolunteers.com
or is it dot-org,,?
over one-million people are now
looking for work where eye live.
you do-not want to be in the way.
when that-many people want food.
(.next comment.)
i got a popular health-book
'AlKALIze Or Die' by doctor
Theodore A. Baroody.
cuz maydn said she was 'acidic'
i can only imagine it will
tell me: eat your fruits and greens.
(sigh)
-no end-
book continues...
chapter-eight continued:
;;2.The Dying-Inside Wife;
One of the deepest longings of this wife is to know that her husband needs her. Instead, this wife.recognizes.that he is'indifferent'...To a woman, that is the same as personal-rejection.../will severly wound this wifes spirit. sooner or later it will affect her emotions...signs of being emotionaly disturbed. She will beging to seek help, books on marriage and emotional-well-being...(yoga?). Books that identify with her and offer solutions(the wrong kind) which will help keep her unstable situation a secret for a little longer...with no'lasting' satisfaction since her husband is still-not caring for her spirit. she will become 'open' seeking more help. .../each time she finds a new approach(or drug) she thinks: NOW eye have the answer that will allow me to rise-above my emotional dependency. But her hopes are dashed again and again.(she is still a woman.) because the steps designed for emotional-'freedom'.dont work. (wow! freedom! maydn just posted that word.1-9-09...Or.maybe it was just ooin-cidence.that im typing it now.)
.../Why shood they work? (check)(check) steps in these books are.designed.for her...(seductive)...and not for her husband. Yet her emotional-hurts are the result of her husbands insensitivity, HIS continuous (and frequently unrecognized)rejection of her as a person and wife. Her husband has the disease, but she is feeling the pain,...(god made the two..one)...and looking for cures.(oR.knock-me-outs.) (does this relate to chest-rises i felt and maydn Re-posted? just before Monday, December 29, 2008)
...note:the Re-ality of this does.NOT.prevent the wife from.blaming.herself.for failing.(women are very sensitive to spriritual things and more-ready to take the blame than men are...so.).SHE thinks she is overreacting.She.feels gilty for taking his indifference, his perceived rejection, so personaly.(woman do deudam dont forget that.)...As a result of this continuing treatment-slash-failure cycle, her emotions will become increasingly.unstable...(check)...gaining hope...then having it dashed by the re-ality...her husbands insensitivity...seem un-ending.(no-end)
.../at some.Point.the 'dying-inside' wife(or.daughter) discovers not only is her husband disturbed about her emotional instability, but now her friends are concerned too...THEY.are wondering how(such a loving)husband can be so patient and tolerant under such trying circumstances.living with that poor-sick wife(ie.a-nutty-bride.)(wtd:)(they aways blame the wife!)...note: what-has-happened (to.her) has.MADE.her appear unstable, while he(husband)is made to appear very-stable...this additional rejection by friends increases her guilt and sense of despair.
.../will probly.REsult.in physical symptoms of one kind or another. Possibilities are endless since every woman will have a different physical manifestation of her emotional stress.(see eleven symptoms?)...Visits to the doctor result in treatments of the symptoms(.ie.a headache.)and not the caws..(.the product of a wounded spirit) and you can-not 'Medicate' the spirit of a person.(check)(check)(check)and why medications for emotional problems worsen...yet experience.no.relief...her spirit received no attention for healing...so medications are monitored and increased.(killing-people4pay)
.../I've seen dramatic healing take place in wives whose husbands.learned.how.to.care.for their wives with christ-like attitudes...of support and incouragement. Wives droping their medications. (yikes! get off drugs slowly...dont 'drop'...better yet:dont start.)(and watch-out for addictive patches too)...attitudes and behaviour brot healing.!
;;The Silent Spiritual Wife;
This wife has heard teaching at church, radio,t.v.,media...that it is unspiritual for a wife to have any expectations of her husband.(wtd) so she stops expecting. Inwardly,however,she continues.to.long.for.he husband to show christlike love. Because she still relly.Wants.him to appreciate and admire her, she feels unspiritual and that adds to her sense of gilt.
.../this woman may be church active, but friends are not sensitive enuff to notice her spirit is being crushed. You see, her mouth is not speaking words of discontent...she.is.in.agony.in her spirit. A quiet mouth meenz not A quiet spirit.../she wants her (wtd)husband to be ALERT to her as a person, in showing her in words, actions, and especially attitudes...that he needs her. Yet this wife has bin tawt to consider it eccentric(old-fashion is Wrong?)...so Outwardly she is placid...Inwardly she is being destroyed by emotional turmoil....she feels like a hypocrite...pretending everything is fine when it is not.
.../Very often this woman is considered a spiritual-giant.(check) she seems to have it all together. she not only feels trapped. she is trapped.../When this woman 'BLOWS' the top reeely comes off! And again, all the sympathy goes to the Husband, who is being embarrased by an unstable wife. Some of these wives Try Suicide. Others walk away from the marriage and distance themselves from anything christian.(hey:you can label it christian, but its not.)...As eye have indicated earlier, help is as far away as her husband...if he will develop a christlike care-ing attitude(.Ken.Nair.style.) eye have never known that 'CURE' to fail.
;;The Strong-Willed Wife;
generaly more outspoken than alot of women...as marriage experiences become more hurtful(see:time-line)she grows more resentful and bitter. she typically discusses(boldly)his offensive attitudes and behaviour with HIM! which builds resentment with him...He being tawt that Outspoken-ness meens she isnot being submissive(.ie.godly)...(she is 'helper'ing, but he gets defensive.)...this woman refuses to suffer in silence...telling others his failures.(but unable to tray-se His problem.she needs this book!)...imbarrased initial as she reports how inattentive He is..(but 'HOW' is he inattentive? ) almost everything.(He-duzz).takes priority over her: work, needs of others, clan buisness...But she feel its worth the embarrassment if her husband is humilated.(with-her!).also.
.../As.TIME.goes on.(see:time line).her.INTENTIONS.may be to.TERR.Him.down. to get REvenge. (.Yikes!.now its getting real-bad.).im not saying its rite.im saying its common...it reveals a problem needs re-solution. ...Her Husband is to administer the Healing-Plant-Goop of: appreciation, encouragement, and unconditional.(agape).love...over long periods...eye have never seen it fail.
;;The I-Guess-Im-Not-so-Bad-OFF wife;
I have discovered that wives have an incredible capacity(spirit-pool)for unselfish and loyal attitudes and behaviour. many think they are to demeening to want more in a relationship(marriage)...settling for one that falls short of what it cood be, while longing for it to improove. some HAVE a secret hope that somthing will-happen to dramatically improove it.(hope) .../your skeptical? you herd to many complaining wives?...example: a couple eye was talking with gave me a comfortable feeling, so i brot-up marriage-relationships...as usual, the woman broke-the-ice. she said: ...///eye feel silly meeting like this, our marriage isnt terriffic, but it isnt terrible either. my husband is a good Man.
.../WaNtinG.to.let.her.know. i knew how she was feeling. i (ASK)d:if i cood express what-i-thot she was going threw emotionaly. i hoped in such a way that her husband wood gain new insite on his responsi-billy-t-teez.(.two-teez.)...she gave me permission...looking at her eye said:you are saying to yourself: i see that im not reely bad-off.(cood-bee-worse!) compared to other marriages...ours is missing some spirit...my husband is a good provider. he has good friendships. he has never left us. He dosnt neglect the children. He never pysically abuses us. Hes a good father. He is reliable at clan-buisness. He Reads his Bible and meets with others who do. He helps them. WHAT more can I Expect from Him.?
...she nodded as if to say: You'r Right...Again speaking for her i-said:What more can eye expect from him? Perfection? that he become more like Jesu? (wtd:) is it such a terrible thing for a wife to be unwilling that her husband settle for.Anything-LESS.than what god desires for him in this life? If God'designed'his wife to help-er-him to be successfull(.success-FULL.).wood god design her to be satisfied with anything less? less than helping him become successfully with-christ in all doings.
.../This story has a Happy ending, Her husband realized that he shood 'accept' that she had an Honest need, that her longing for him to be perfect was legal...so he challenged himself to get-serious about what god was trying to show him threw-Her...to learn how to be.more.sensitive.to her.spirt. and so on to the spirit of others...himself? and the holy.spirit.of the Bible.
THat-Desire alone lifted a great burden.(wound?).off of his wife, it alone gave her hope, she has seen with-christ-ness must be acheived becuz it was the goal of Gods-spirit also...and she cood Trust Him to finish the good work He had started in her Husband.
;;A Wife Settling for Less;
let me give another example of A Wife Settling for Less simply becuz she was making faulty comparisons. THis Wife's Father.(which every-one knows is a-little-girls.first-true.husband.).Never bot.her.anything! other than what he felt was barest-need.(.does that sound like alot of husbands or not?) He made her feel stupid.ugly.and unwanted.(on purpose?).He also Hit her with his fists.(.yes.on-purpose.)...With THIS.role-model she entered marriage.
.../This womans Husband Never hit her. He did buy her clothes...tite-fitting ones to show-off her figure.(.just look at the Trophy i Bagged.)...He often used her as.his.source.of Humour.(ie.my.gofer-girl.)...hurting her spirit repeated-lee...YET tho she did not feel good about it, she did not dwell upon it.(internalize-it.) AFter all, compared to her father, she never had it so good.(check)(check) (my note:duz that meen she was not being hurt by this any way less?.)...THAT faulty comparison ment she-was-not-able.(netralized for the remainder of the WAR.) to challenge her husband to be more with-christ.../eye.(.Ken.Nair.).find it heart-breaking to talk to the wives experiencing the syndromes discussed here. They typically Do-NOT-WAnT to believe their husbands DO-NOT-KNOW how much they have hurt them as Wives. they typicaly think that their husbands just dont care about how they are destroying their wives emotionally. Yet when i talk to the husbands, they do not see it or know what they are doing.(builing up a charge.)
.../its difficult.(.for.me.) to convince her that he.(what did eye do?)really dosnt understand whats going on. cuz His Offenses are so OBVIous to HER. a wife if unwilling-to-believe they are not OBVIous to her MAn. so she becomes bitter.(she cant see that he cant see.)...develops a strong feeling of hoplessness...and why.(in this chapter) they try to draw their own conclusions and methods of survival in this relationship.../(wtd:)wives who come from a stable-family can survive this longer than others. Even tho they experience Severe damage to their spirits and emotional-SCARS.(.TRAITS?) they will-carry for the remainder of this life...even tho suffering...such women carry the spirits of the family...these wives are noticeably the spiritual-leaders in their homes. faithfully attending it while leaving their husbands far-behind.(spiritualy.)...(.follow.Jesu.tho.no.one.follows.you.)
;;Taking the Blame;
By now you may again be red-ee to throw this book in the Trash. You cannot agree that you shood be held responsible.(one-ness).for marriage problems nor for your wifes emotional.(behaviour)health...If thats what your feeling than you are perfectly Normal. for this is what i hear constantly:///'all the blame you are putting on MAn, i cannot accept that, thats not right! you say: a wife dosnt have-to react wrongly toward her husband, the grace of god is sufficient for wives as well.(you say).../Agreed, that grace is WHY they dont give-up. even when christians cant motivate your husband to be better.
.../Let me Re-mind you that a wife.IS-NOT.oblivious to the fact that Her hostile, angry, irrational responses are not godly. She feels gilty cuz she is not responding either.(.her.wrong.is.your.wrong.).(ASK)her in the middle of her anger: do you know that you Anger is wrong? she will say:YES, you idiot, i know im wrong...tho she may re-fuze you the satisfaction of knowing she knows it is wrong, for that is a part of the nature of Anger.(greed)...its also part of what is eating her. It is.HEAPING.inner-gilt on her and making her spirit even heavier.
.../Yet What is Your purpose?:(wtd).to focus on her shame? Or to care for Your wifes spirit?...do you reason that getting her to admit she is wrong will help her spirit? if so you are 'letting' your short-sited-ness to distracted from the problem to the symptoms.../its your goal to build the marriage relationship so that.its.central.focus.is with-christ-ness....go beyond blaming...to personal evaluation.(ASK) yourself:how am-eye doing.)) recognizing your own needs(check)(check) and.Discovering.responses.that become shows of with-christ-ness attitudes and behaviour. (make your own)
.../get-passed what we perceive is wrong and minister to the needs represented by the wrong...example:a man coming into your house bleeding from a stab-wound...wood you scold your friend for getting blood on the carpet?
what if the one who.did.the.stabbing.(even.accidently.)was also the one who did the scolding.?.(fix the problem.not the symptom.)...better yet, find out how to eliminate the stabbing, which wood eliminate getting blood on the floor.
.../my job is to help husbands see how they are stabbing the spirits of their wives...if they stopped...they wood no longer have to scold them for emotions that are bleeding all over their marriages. husbands cood stop the bleeding and heal the damage. THAT is a decision men can make! becuz your ways are not my ways:Use gos Unselfish love for a patten of how to love your wife.
:Isaiah.55:8, Ephesians.5:25-29
.../one man said:are you trying to say a perfect husband will make a perfect wife?...i replied:i dont think we have to worry about that possibility.
if christ had a wife.(.US.) who was miserable, rebellious, strong-willed, and angry, .wood.he.have.stopped.being christ-like? the man realized the this-response put his need for christlikeness FIRST. from that point on, he made it his-priority.(.errr...until his wife acted-up again)
;;MEN ARE ACCOUNTABLE;
This is not the ARMY...our.wives.CAN-NOT.force.us to keep the commitment we signed.at the altar...yet as learned in this book.God.holds.us.men accountable for the success of our marri-ages...(TERM:)'laying-down-your-life' once ment visions of diving into a suicide to spare my wife...but now its somthing(check) else...its.putting.my.wife.first...its about.meeting.her.needs.before i consider my own.(its a life.not a death.) if a situation comes where its a matter of opinion between my wife and me, iam to.GIVE.HER.opinions priority over mine...consideration for HER, before my own needs in our every-day life...Boy.thats going to be Tuff.Ruff.
.../Another man said:eye feel like you are asking me to lose my identity, as tho iam not supposed to be me anymore.(thats true for any big-buisness)...Exactly,i replied: thats what becoming christ-like is all about, im not me anymore, cuz im conformed to his-life. It is no-longer eye that live...but christ in me...and eye begin to see things threw him instead. GAlatians.2:20 who loved me, and gave-himself for me. philipians 2:1-3 do nothing threw selfish ambishun...but in humility consider others better.(niv)
.../live this bible-verse. make it part of my every-day life. it will free me from being focused on the faults of others, including my wife. These attitudes will help me think of others as persons(rich of poor)God is using to teach me, regardless of their methods, how to become more with-christ. My wife becomes the first living verification of attitudes resulting in behaviour at home...and then the world/Looking Ahead.what wood you say is the most common expression of a wifes-concern?...Jealousy?...ways a man makes his wife feel like others are more important to him than she is, especially other woman?...that what i learned in 'A lesson from secretaries week.'
(note:Enoch walked with-god...'after' he begot his son. he learned about marriage relationships...the hard way...and it made him spiritualy sensitive to others...and to his Maker....like maydn does to me.)
::::Chapter NINE::::
;;A Lesson Learned From Secretaries Week;
how much we men can learn from one incident 'If' we are open to correction...a whole world of understanding about how our wives function. secretaires week: taking a carriage full of young women to dinner...passing our home as the wife stood gawking at the site i had become a-part of...they all new my wife and cheerfully yelled 'Hello!'..'Hi! Nancy!' as we drove by.../Get the picture?.(check) a perfect-setting for jealousy.../ALL RATional thinking did not help her...she prayed...red her Bible...(but as you may know by now...wives can-not stop how their husband affects their spirit...they can only gize the hurt and hide re-acting.) she wood not let her feelings show when eye got home.(you affected her)...the half-hour before eye arrived she felt she had herself under-control.../WHEN i walked in all her good-effort came undone...she literaly blew-up in my astonished face. what did i do?
.../i had to admit she was.expressing.(her way).the honest feelings of her heart.(check)i had to.let.her.know.that eye saw this(wtd)as a learning opportunity instead of dis-counting it as coin-cidental. and\or demeaning her by treating her-jealousy as the focal-point of our(her)problem.
;;Situations that breed Jealousy;
consider another situ.where\how we men can be totaly oblivious to how we negatively affect our wives.(ASK her!)...example: a guy drives to a dinner with his wife, all the way preoccupied he doesnt.say.a.word. His wife wishes there were more conversation but does not intrude on his thots.(big mistake).../at the dinner the hostess smiles:MAY EYE HELP YOU. he smiles back:and starts a conversation with her. AT THAT point somthing.natural.happens...his wife gets jealous. YOU may say:Whats the Big Deal? What gives her the rite to re-act with jealousy? /// (wtd)the big-deal is her non-conversational husband suddenly comes alive WHEN another woman enters the picture.(my comment:any social-change wood!.duuh.).He is more thotful.more curteous.and more interactive with the hostess than he has bin with his wife all week. And his wifes spirit.senses.his attentiveness to another woman and re-acts.
.../even an insensitve will note'somthin wrong after they are seated. His wife will be cold, unwilling to talk, and body-language.(eye was waiting for that word.)that says: im offended and disgusted with you...WHats the Matter with you?he says...she says:Nothing!!...if committed he will persist, yet no matter how sincere the attitude of his heart and tone of his voice.(check)He will probly get an ear-full:Im sick and tired of you paying more attention to other woman than you do to me!.(she meens time-conversing together.as a man.eye wood say just 'taking' her places wood be to-much attention-time for her...but thats.NOT.how women think...right maydn?.).
.../At this point...unless the Husband swallows his Pride that is EVen Now 'bounce-ing' to come to his rescue...neither will enjoy the dinner...He.MUST. 'believe' his wife's expression of emotional pain. HE must accept her evaluation of how he affects her.(admit it to her.even if she 'says' its nothing and 'knows' its nothing...she 'is' affected...so 'be' ashamed. and TELL her!.) Only then can He (SAY:)Im sorry ive hurt you, thats terrible. As my wife you shood always sense that-i-am paying more attention to you than eye am to anyone else.(bible verse:but he that is married cares for the things of the world, how he may please his wife.)..
.../Notice, as usual, that the wife.has.to.get jealous before he recognizes he is not.being.attentive to her.(dash) unfortunately, its another price a wife has to pay as God helps her husband learn HOW un-christ-like and dis-torted his ways are...(Thank-you.maydn.) You may even be 'enjoy-ing' the conversation with another woman...( 'enjoy' here meens eye-candy...wow! not the candy of 'conversation' that women enjoy...and your wife notices this? yikes!..your dead.)
.../another example is a mans 'relationship' with his mother.(strong). the wifes jealousy my make itself known threw statements like:///I HATE your mother....whu? what do you have against my mother? he says, why are you always trying to devide me against my parents?/// the wife may show examples of preferencial treatment you give, like on mothers day...She's my mother, you say. she says:im a mother too! the mother of your children, but that dosnt seem to carry any Weight with you!...he gets defensive and deaf to her spirit by saying:Im not going to stop loving my mother just to make you happy...(oops.wrong.app!)
.../Eye Informed him.(wtd:) Your wife is NOT trying to force you to make a decision to love either her Or your mother. Your wife is crying out to you from her Heart, letting you,KnoW.that she is grieved cuz you pay-attent and more-responsive...May eye incourage you to see God at work in this situ? God requires that a man 'leave' his parents to be 'ONE' with his wife. commanded to lay down his life.(selfishness) for his wife...not his mother.(wtd:) you could use your mother as a source of measurement, to contrast the love your wife experiences from you with the love she sees you give to mother. cood you goal to love.(respond) to wife as-much as mother?.../The objective here is to always be more with-christ-like.
.../another source of Jealousy is the way a husband responds to his pets.(maydn touched briefly on this:walking the dog more than tending relationships.)(you walk the dog more than you walk me!.note:i just saw a book on how to get more ROmantic with your dog\cat...it was ment to be funny cartoons...but now eye wonder.) His dog or cat can do almost anything, but He is intolerant of almost everything his wife does. it can jump on his lap and be petted.gently.with no impatience. But his wife cant get that kind of gentle attentiveness.(wtd.)
.../A mans relationship with his brothers and sisters can also lead to jealousy.(she felt involvement.the family-closeness.) from wife's perspective he is consistently more consistent with them than her.../A mans job or involvment with sports can generate jell-lousy. Things that can-say to a wife that she is not-most important.(just ASK her!):
1.'SEEM-ing'to be more concerned with his friends thinking and being with them.
2.'CHOO-sing'to be involved in sports, cards, or politics several nights a week, while not finding time for a date with her.
3.'SPEND-ing'80-90-percent of his free-time watching sports Or.t.v.-ism.
;;WHen Teasing Wounds a Wife;
Some men seem to take a perverse delight in making their wives squirm with jealousy...(wtd) what he thot was great-fun, was tormenting his wife. He was only teasing, he insisted, but the tears streem-ing down her face told a different story.../example: the couple watched a air-line steward-ess reely papmper a male passanger...the wife was not a very secure person and knew her husband was leaving on another flite soon...she said:they dont reely pay THAT much attention to male passangers do they? the husband,thinking it wood be great-fun, assured-her that they certain-lee did. then, he started building a story of how much special-attention he had received in the past.
.../This 'fun' wounded the womans spirit as she thot of her husband permitting other women to PAY such special attention to him...she was OVER-come with jealousy, like many other women, she felt she cood not compete with the Miss-Universe types or other 'ideal' women. she wondered is she was going to be able to keep her husband, and her self-image eroded in time.(not fun.)
.../i've discovered even the Miss-Universe types feel insecure about their ability to attract and hold a man. (novels?Teen-Mags.?)Tease-ing designed to make a woman jealous can be destructive even to the-most attractive woman.(its how they work.) (.ASK.THEM!)
.../Ive asked my wife Nancy, to share about jealousy from 'HER' perspective.
she says:there eye times when i have to deal with it, and times i dont! As a woman eye just naturally watch his eyes and read his body-language. We all know when Kenny is happy or sad after work by-the-way he walks. the kids will say somthing.
.../Its the same with jealousy. There are time when girls come in to see him and it dosnt bother me a bit...But there are-times when kenny may sense somthing different about one, and i will say:kenny, that girl was flirting with you. he says:Your Kidding?, and eye will say:NO.IAM not...she was.
.../some girls are interested in a sexual-sense...others are there cuz they like hearing Kennys interest in helping her husband learn 'HOW' to care for her spirit.(wtd:).MOST of the time a wife gets jealous cuz of the way her husband looks at a girl, or she looks back at him for attention. the wife sees he dosnt recognize what he needs to do to-make-it clear to the other woman that he is not interested nor available.
.../Nancy is right. as men we have a natural-bend to WANT to impress the opposite-sex. We quickly 'recognize' that we can get-there attention by being clever or funny...till skilled at humurous?banter.(burp) that gets us LOTS of attention...But we dont 'Real-ize' the damage it does to the spirits of our wives.
;;Jealousy Wreeks Havoc in FAmily Events;
the invited wife walked out during the wedding, the husband stayed and danced with the maid-of-honour, the daughter(flower-girl).started screeming'i dont want you dancing with her' She was terrified at what mite happen as a result of her daddy's actions.(one very angry wife) (daughter watching-out for her mothers interests.).../So husband came back into my office:HOw dare my wife cause all this caos! eye said:is this the loyalty you show to you marrage? Your wife is mad and leaves and your dancing with the-maid-of-honour...You cood have said: Listen, i coodnt do this to my wife...instead you shifted the blame. The-least you cood have done is (SAY:)i have commited a wrong against my wife.Especially since we are alredy separated, the last thing i shood be doing(.in front of her.).is dancing with another woman. And my daughter is God's Reproof for somthing i shouldnt have been doing anyhow.
.../With that said the husband broke down and sobbed. he'recognized' his offensiveness and took responsibility for it.(smiles.again.)As a result of his broken-ness he and his wife got back together again, willing to accept responsibility for what he had done to the marriage. note:(wtd:)his awakening began WHEN he realized he had Reelee upset his daughter...and made his wife jealous.(cut to the heart.)
::THE SECurE Wife;
some women.ARE.secure in their relationships with their husbands...and that tells me he has some understandings of what it takes to generate trust.../If eye character-create an air with my wife that is loving, caring, conversational, and fun.(.hey?.maydn.also.noted those-points for a man.)then that will become her frame-of-reference for who eye am..(suggesting when times get tuff...she can lean on that...like maydn did when i was away.) so she feels safe...so long as she has the confidence that eye understand what impression eye am making on her spirit. and the spirits of others. if kind and polite at home, she expects me to be so elsewhere. what she is measuring is...the attitude of my heart to her and others.
.../she knows im mindful of her by how eye act around her.(wtd) if eye contact her frequently she knows im thinking of her. when we talk eye reely pay-attention to her, not cut her off when shes talking. she knows she holds a high-place of priority in my life.(His most valued time...with me...)
.../a phone call keeps a wife informed, and him of her day, it lets her know that she is important, when he needs to touch-base with her for his comfort. A wife feels loved when she knows that her husband receives comfort from their spirit-to-spirit relationship. (sigh)(wives have such simple yet such profound requirements in a relationship...and for this eye must give it three check-marks:)(check)(check)(check)
.../example:at one time eye had to go to the mountains for a week to write. and carried envelope to write-back home each day.(SAY:)i got up this morning at 7:30. The sun was up and was beautiful. There were a couple of squirrels on the sun-porch, i forgot to take the lid off the dinner and it burned. i got most of a chapter written. the temperature is relly nice. miss You. Think of You. Look foreword to calling you on the phone.
.../Result: when i got back, my family said:MAN.that was the newsiest letter you ever wrote! and im thinking: what? i thot it was just a bunch of stuff. BUT.IT.WAS.MEANINGFUL.TO.THEM.because eye was letting them into my day...(and into my heart.)
.../A wife MUST be affected by the attitude of her husbands heart...thats how God made her. Thats why she can BEE his helper. she will sense when he is doing it mechanicaly...or from the heart. when he says:im doing everything you wanted, what more do you want from me? when his tone-of-voice indicates impatients...that indicates to her that her-radar is working fine. she may not know for sure...but when he walk away upset...then she knows the things he was doing before was only learned responses(wtd), and not attitudes of the heart, god wants to expose attitudes within a mans heart, revealing with-christ-ness and when it is NOT...and a wife is the fine-est way to it.
.../living with her in an-understanding-way is certainly what christ does. HE.Created. such an auroa of TRUST that people were drawn to him.(never man spake like this man.) a husband can do it to. He will be doing it not to draw attention to himself...but to jesu our wonderful Lord.(maker of heaven and Earth.and all things.)
.../Just that One incident at secretaries week tawt me a valuable lesson.(wtd)(check)(check) Just.One.of the benifits to me is feeling comfortable about 'reading' the spirit of a woman. This helps me Avoid any misunderstandings between myself and other women. What Freedom!
.../next chapter is a topic most of us wood rather avoid: How our character is reflected back-to-us by our wives.(or.children.) and how THIS provides motivation for commitment to with-christ attitudes and behaviour.
::::Chapter Ten::::
;;The Character Issue;
Why god withdraws from some men, and not from others? Why some mens wives have alot of problems, while others seem to always be on top of things? the prophet Malachi.2:14-15 provides an answer most of us have never heard.
they were 're-building the wall' but were suffering some 'internal' problems as well, it says god was permitting them to suffer for their attitudes and behaviour, as is typical of men they seem to be asking:what did we do that was so bad? malachi.(gods mouth-piece).responds: Why? your wife! you have broken-faith with her. the lord made them 'One' (.mate-ing.) And why 'One'? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break-faith with the wife of your youth.(.NIV.)
.../God let them experience hardships cuz they were mis-treating their wives. and that was affecting gods plan that they 'HAVE' godly offspring.(wtd:)As part of gods design, the loyalty we illust.(show) to our wives(united to us with god)and our character are mirrored in the lives of our wives and kids.../Most men really do NOT want to hear this. We have all kinds of rationalizations about 'why' are the way they are, why are children are problems. But 'none' of our reason say they are refecting our-own character. No wonder so many wives report their husbands are calling them 'crazy:insane:weird:or-sick' and so many children rebel in their teens.(my note: is.Ooops! maybe rebellion is not a fun-word.)
.../A man will complain to me:When is my wife going to get her act together? I pray for her(and fast).but nothing happens. some even suggest she is possesed by deamons. (still my favorite option) she was so emotionaly unstable that what-ever she reasoned or concluded her husband did (.thot gods will must be.) the opposite. This was his divine-gidance-method: do the opposite of what-ever your wife says.
.../that may seem extreem, but it showss.the.thinking.of many men who view their wife as the enemy!.(dash)(wow.and.insted of living-it.i get to type- it...what a blessing! im glad i stayed on this project for maydn a little longer.).they react to the wife as some-one other than the person they agreed to mate-with. They 'act' like wives are the enemy and the enemy of god. not consciously in their thot-process, but-it-is a deep-seated, inner attitude reflected in their behavior.(where only wives can see.)
;;Character On Display;
case in point:(example) Even tho he gave-his-word to his kids, that as not as important to him as his word to fellow-workers. he fites his own defective-priorites. and being angry, he makes even more wrong decisions, and reasons misgidedly. .../now imagine a 'help-her' coming to him and (SAY)ing:But Honey! do you realize how this is going to affect our children? you promised youd be at their party, now you go to an office party instead. They will see you and god as 'not trust-worthy'.
.../.now...How wood the typical husband re-act to this wife? Most men ive known wood be 'OUT-Raged!' thinking their wives are trying to manipulate them, in some cases they wood have gotten so angry they wood have slammed the phone down.(.but ive learned from this book..she is only seeking what is best for his character...of corse i wood never 'think' that if a girl questioned me.about somthing...id get defensive.quiet.suspecious.not understanding the mind of a woman.'
.../We do-Not treat the commitments(wtd).we.Make.to our wives and children as neer-seriously as God does!, and that puts us in Jeopardy!(remember how they tricked Josua into signing an agreement.).We LOOZE-(er).Gods blessings,(throw them away) and we sow the seeds of destruction...resulting in a trip to divorce court...and alienating children who end-up wanting nothing-to-do with God...
;;A Divorce Court Awakening;
(sometimes it take a 'disaster' insted of a 'quiz' Or 'book-warning' to open peoples eyes.) (wtd:).I was sitting in divorce-court one day with a man eye-had bin discipling for a few weeks. With alarm he turned to me and said: 'SHE is going to go for everything!'/// ...what does that meen? i asked. 'SHE is going to go for everything.'he repeated. 'House,money,savings,everything. What am i going to do about it?/// Nothing,i said. he asked:you mean, just let her take everything? yes,i said. And cuz i had worked long enuff for him to see things from his wifes eyes i said:If you.wiped.her.out.all these years, if she is so angry with you that she WANTS to wipe you out, then let THAT be an indication of how baadly you hurt her. i mean, how can you possibly compensate her? the least is give her what she asks, thats somthing.
he repeated:'but SHE is going to go for everything.'.thats okay.i said calmly, shes going to take my retirement!, Okay.i said.give it to God. And half of my paycheck to? he asked. Man,this is reeely hard.he said. After court he said: Well, she realy took everything. i said:so what? your starting over, fresh, new. if you become more and more like christ and she comes back you will win it all back anyhow.
.../You ask: WHAT had he done to deserve that kind of treatment by her...and by you? note first:that your question shows a greater concern for what is happening to-him than what God wants to-teach-to-him...about dying to self.
.../heres what had happened.(wtd.).He had not-come-close to caring for his wifes spirit. He talked down to her, giving her no-indication he was genuinely interested in her. He had buisness dealings that he had never discussed with-her. his attitude: if i go bankrupt, thats no-concern of hers. (.when it truely was.its her wealth also.you are 'one' with her.)
.../threw conversations he revealed a lot of characteristly 'Male' attutudes. they 'prooved' he reely didnt Know how to care for his wife from gods perspective. As a result she had just had enuff. ///I've had it with him, im out of here.../But this story has a happy ending. They were re-married six-moons after the scene at the court-house. Why? because he began to be concerned with HOW he affected her...from HER perspective.(and no-woman can resist that!) And he had admitted to her:I know that the way ive talked to you was degrading.
.../He also had to admit: i didnt listen to you when you told me. (to do somthing.to you.).that i loved my parents more than you. i realize now that i did treat them better than you.../THose christ-like attitudes and actions, that character change, won her back, COnVincing her that he really cood be loving to her and wanted to care for her.
;;A Wifes insight can increase Promotion Chances;
Ever wondered why you were passed, and another got the job. They monitor character, somthing your wife cood-have corrected you on.(thing you cant see about yourself) too many husbands consider there wives to-out-of-touch with the re-alities of their jobs, while character-correction by a wife cood have saved him.../impact of character(or lack of it)is not limited to job-opportunities, think of social-ties, clan-meets, turf-wars, marriages. think of the effect a new-character can make in these areas.
.../Many men dont listen as their wives.make.suggestions about how they might improve. Arguments and fites usually result. Even when men looze their jobs for reasons their wives tried to point-out. Many men are ruined financialy and suffering need-less-lee BECUZ they rejected cautions from their wives.(college debts).../i remember for years my wife Nancy did not feel free to let me know about the problems she saw in my plans. i was stubborn and not a good-listener, so she feared the consequence of.being.honest.with.me.
(.YAYee-YaYee! i made to the 'five-blind mice')
Men are Often Blind to Double Standards
Men are often Blind to hypocrisy;
Men are often blinded to shifting responsibilities.
Men are often blinded to shifting pressure.
Men are often blinded to wive's family needs.
(.eye didnt SEE anything worth 'check'ing.on these pages...
but maybe 'SEE' is my problem.)
;;Men are Often Blind to Double Standards;
One Major character-flaw women comment on is our double-standard. (example:)wife says:we need new sheets for the bed. Man says:We dont have money for it right now. Or he mite say:what have you bin doing with all the money i gave you? No, you cant have more to waste...Then he goes out and buys essential stuff like special jogging-outfits, another fishing-pole, or a bigger part for the Buggy.
.../other example: a big-corporation(evil)buisness men will launch all-efforts to cut-costs and staff in the company. However, as president, he will go out and puchase a more expensive car for his company and personal use.../other example: a friend put very-tite restrictions on his wifes expenditures, then went out and bot a new motor-cycle. reason: it wood cost less to repair it than the old one. a year later when asked why he hadnt done anything with it yet he said: it wood cost to much for parts...so the same reason he hadnt fixed the old one, is the same reason he used for the new one.
.../do you think my friend was ALERT to his preferential treatment? He wasnt...but he is now. He is learning to see his wife as a blessing from God. while she.is.helping.him.see the attitudes and actions that will make him more christ-like. He is learning to see with his spiritual-eyes. and to be a man of his word. Letting.his.wife.be.a.part.without pressuring her to agree to his wishes.
.../Women can TELL of many situations like this (wtd) men unwilling to admit a double-standard, becuz men wont listen at home, they carry this characteristic of unfairness with them wherever they go.(leeving sorrow.)
;;Men are often Blind to hypocrisy;
as a seminar leader and counciler EYE get to hear mostly HorroR stories about men. even leaders.wives(dash)broken-hearted by the way they treat them.../Ralph for example: prayed at clan-functions.(local-grown foods and items.) that more people wood realize their responsibility to christ as heart-keepers. by following-threw on commitments to the clan.(.collected contacts of persons who agreed to barter somthing for somthing.) (eg.what wood you give me if eye planted wheat and bird-seed?)
BUT when his wife reminded him that time was running out for him, for typing reports to heart-keepers...he chewed her out for 'nagging' him, and 'No.'he didnt have it red-ee on time. Even tho his wife reminded him many times. (wtd:)they want their husbands to be respected. ...if a man WANTs to be responsible, he will proove it with study...Like wise, if a man wants to be a responsibel spirit-leader in his home...yet becomes angry when he is shown what he can do that will allow others to become more with-christ. its likely that his sin-cerity (focused on self?) will be questioned. That is exactly what wives do, question-ing if his spirit-activity is also a front.
;;Men are often blinded to shifting responsibilities.;
i cautioned willie that a biz-ness needs 'extra-hours' before you can bring it to the point where it serves the family more than the family serves it...hours his wife will 'regret' sacrificing. (time ment for her.) cuz 'getting ahead' was ment to be befit 'both' of them. But as often happens ///his 'job' becomes the other 'wife' in the family. he said to her:(say)if you see me starting to give this biz.(xfers) greater priority than our marriage(time-with-you!)...You-BE-Sure to let me know.
.../its good...but i wonder if you know what you just did to your wife?:willie asked:No.what did eye do? i said:you just...put your wife in charge of your success or failure...so it will be-your-fault. he said:eye did?...his wife said:willie does that to me a lot of time.(wtd)...to ALeRT willie that potential-problems in his marriage were HIS responsibility i said:there are thousands of radio-signals in the air rite now. the only way your going to know what those signals are is if 'YOU' are tuned-in to them.
wither that be Re-Tribe-ing, Local-food-ing,.and-or Mate-ing. it is YOUR responsiblity as the leader of your home to.'tune-in' to whats going-on around YOU...
woe! skip this part...i started flying off-the-Hook rite about here.
(.your-area:walking-distance...and all deadly gate-ways going in-to or out-of that-world...xfers...suspecious packages, un-marked vans, garbage-cans full of injection-needles..modern slave-trading.technology..execution-style on-site task-force population-round-ups into local government(slash)corporation-funded death-camps.(transit-stations.).anything else that may send a warning-signal that your not in mR.Rodgers.naybor-hood .anymore...note: i seen the new library books on modern slave-trading...and thats just 'public' reeding...you shood see the real stuff...even your local-public-park.(.where kids play.).is marked off as state-and government property to be used as concentration-camps and detention-centers un-til the people can be 'shipped' to 'safe' locations on FEMA busses to the BIG reserve-camps...www.infowars.com...globalization and de-population in-forced.)
...YOU must be cautious of the things that will damage your wife and your marriage...Proverbs.27:23
;;Men are often blinded to shifting pressure.;
Another area of 'shifting' is a husband telling his wife to call-back an Angry bill-collector and tell him whats-what. Or tell them to do some mechanical mans-thing 'Ignoring' that their wives may fear to handle the task. example: a husband may (ASK) her to go collect some materials...and then he gets upset is she does or dosnt do it. or complains that she dosnt feel compitent...Her 'reluctance' is often do to 'KNOWING' someone is going to ASK her questions she can-not answer.(.and maybe in a time she shood NOT answer... nor sign anything...usually in a moment of fear or pressure.)
she also knows from experience what is going to happen if she comes back home with the wrong materials.(dash) even tho she-did-her-best! (wtd) But does HIS heart go out to her? Usually not. Usually she just feels rejection. This is a M-i-L-d-form of shifiting responsibility, but a common one!
.../i re-mem the time she got (bartared-for) the wrong item...she was to embarrased to re-verse the deal...she was greatful when i said i wood for her...in reality.Nancy needed more than the return, she needed my acceptance, that eye was not upset, even pleased to do this task for HER...(who knows! god may have a pupose for me going 'THIS' time.)...and God was not'Surprised'by her request either. He was willing to let this serve as a TEST to proove wither or not i wood.'Respond' to her in a 'with-christ' manner.
.../I want my wife(maydn)to know that she never needs to feel bad(wtd)or gilty for asking me to help her when she feels pressured. I believe that honoring her means protecting her from whatever will be defeating to her and lightening her burden. As Jesu offers us relief, He provides an example that i am admonished by GOd to follow in behalf of my wife.(check)(check)(check)
paused
(.here is the fifth blind Mou-see.)
;;Men are often blinded to wive's family needs.;
Imagine'the.damage.'to the spirit of a wife who has spent several'Years' working to put her husband.(.or.daughter.).threw seminary only to discover that he was tawt a set of priorites.(wtd).that wood largely exclude Her! ...He had bin 'Tawt' that cLan-members.and community..and often even the clan-Mud-straw-structures and its care are 'ABOVE' in importance compared to 'HER' importance...(.maydn help me with this one. do not step-on a blind-gofer!...he mite squirt-steem like a squishy Hot-Water bottle.) these graduates do not 'realize' they are included in.1.Timothy.5:8:says:But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his house-hold, he has denied the faith, and is worse-than an unbeliever.
.../that 'provision'includes more than money.(wtd) i includes spirit-leadership, emotional-care.(petting?).understanding, comfort, compassion, and friend-ship. it meens a wife must have a very-HIGH priority in her husbands life...eye may add:especialy during pregnancy and the moons after the birth of a child...(.adopted?)
.../the 'using' of wives.(mentality), forms not just at seminaries, some take their kids threw public-school and colleges as a type of 'investment' in the families future...yet all those years of sacrifice and pressure...wives soon discover feelings and wishes (discarded) now carry little weight(wow! wtd!) once their husbands graduate and enter the (global) work-force...these husbands are then surprised.(.rewarded empty lives.)when their marriages disintegrate several years after they get 'real'(certified).J.o.b.s...(.eye got older brothers that cant testify to THAT! they walked-rite-into this same trap...they dont read it like eye do...they live it! one page each day...thats why im be-ing extra-care-full with 'YOU' mayden...i want to find a way out of this mess...and yet seem 'con-tent' also.)
.../As you can see, a woman determines.for.herself.if a man has character from a variety of experiences.(not all hers?.) but more than anything(dash) by his 'willingness' to let her participate.(make steps) in his life....willing to be held answerable even to his wife as god alerts her to his character flaws...(maydn pleez help your Man!.)
.../even in our 'enlightend' generation, do not 'rationalize' inexcusable(not with-christ) attitudes and behaviours or Leaders.../Proverbs.11:29.He who troubles his own house will inheirit the Wind. thats exactly what is happening to marriages all over the land, where men are unwilling to let god use their wives to bring about accountability.(.i.can.leeve.her.anytime.) for character. NO.WOMAN. will permit herself to be continuously SET-UP for spiritual, emotional, and 'physical'.defeat. and do nothing about it. Divorce is not the answer, christ-like behavior.by.men.IS. and it will WIN back alienated and disaffected wives.
.../(SAY)...(do!).You may be saying:im willing to Listen, but my wife keeps saying iAm Not listening. WHAT can i do?...the next chapter provides the answer.
::::Chapter Eleven::::
;;THe FIne Art Of Listening;
paused
nr5.txt - - - - v1-23-09
understanding a woman...
book by Ken Nair...
its Rain-ing'Hard'outside.Now
on this dark-grey d-ay?.
I was reeding those posts
where you said...if i cood
put-words-in-your mouth...
yum.yum. it was good! (.burp.)
i.know.cuz its evening again
My TuM-ee is growl-ing4more.
oooh! uh. uh. I'm excited cuz.
I made it to chapter-eleven.
i have-bin giving you serious
and intimate kisses all the way.
but now its time for the deeper
stuff-ing. i grab and cu-ress
and prepare you for a gentle
climb over the peek...(this is
the-Hard-part.)
You feel the Bear-Hugs titen
and warm...as eye prepare to go
dipp-ing for more honey...knowing
that the sweetness must surely
be sizzling and satisfing to your
hungry-hungry Sir Honey bear.
IAm going to stroke and kiss
your most 'sensitive' parts...
in chapter eleven. eye believe
it is so...that 'Listen-ing' is
true-love...and its where maydn
wants to be hugged the most.
those parts of me that Rub-on-Her
and tell her truth-fully: i am here.
I am listen-ing. enjoying every part
of you. and letting both hearts
burst.(.burp.) and bloom together.
I know this is difficult for th-boy
in-side me to understand...but it is at
this-part of the book.(.teeerz.)
that i real-ize my dreeemz...that maydn
(.stupid-girl.).is not the hinder-ance.
i thot she was...nope...she is the-way.
God 'knew' what eye wanted...somthing
had to be moved.out.of.HIS.way.before
eye cood reach a solid.tribal.life-style.
Here Eye thot it was the girls...
slowing everything down...(.mind-blur.)
but the problem slow-ing things down
and needed to be.moved.out.of.HIS.way.
turned out to be...to be...me?.(tears).
(sigh)
i knew it all along...(NOT!) cuz girls
were not the problem.(they wood agree.)
new generations cood have told me that.
eye just didnt see how it all fit.
and the problem never cood be ME.
(.oh..no!..of course not.)
well now, its time to 'hold'
maydns heart.
and-let-her-help-me-make-it
over the next chapter to get
US peeking-off to the Moon!
.(.shes good at that.)
tucking my bear-eey cold noze
under her ARM eye prepare for
things God 'wants' for man but
has never yet entered his heart...
...the 'Ride'of my Life...
Sir.Loverly.Honey.Bear.Bee.with
Maydn stuck in the Rib-work.
po-em:
tender-est. of kisses.
strong-est. of dreems...
is 'my maydns smile'...:)
hur'hurts... and hur'screems.
-no end-
words:'hurt'and'screem'
has deeper meenings after
reeding this book.
but the not-so-deep-tears
shood be a warning for any boy.
that somthing...
is not rite with his visions...
noT without her...in them.
(.more.)
you made a comment about
love-stuff being more-than just
You...and me...
streem-eight feels like two...
there is a third-person view...
others can enjoy it...but eye cant.
im stuck-inside-it...eye can go
to other blogs and reed girls
talking about what some guy did
to her...thats fun...i guess...
but you meen...this love shood
affect all our attitudes and
relationships...i know that.
and how eye treat girls and boys.
Remember Ken Nair said he was able
to know-what was troubling women...
by learning to read his wife...
(.so let me do the same with you.)
a bible verse says:how can a man
gide garden-clan-workers...without
learning first to gide the-home?
a woman is the secret to sensitivity.
Think of the marriages Ken has helped
'stick-together'...and the children
who re-member the change it brot!...
and the.daughter.or.son.who never-will
see change...nor a healing family.
(.only more public-military-socialization.)
(.where kids learn to do strange things...
for pleasure and for pay.)
Ken was able to help others cuz
one day a woman came to him...and
posted on his blog a'very' important
message: I am 'afeared' of you...be mine!
in boy-language that meens:
come and know a woman.
learn how to read-her...and give
her your heart.
(sigh)
fum-bling and fluttering ever since.
-no end-
(next comment.)
(.Day Three.)
weee! heee! who-weee!
Eye made it!!
the'CLiMaX' of chapter eleven.
(sigh)...
all eye can-do Now is'bow' to the
mystery of love and hope my Queen will
smile upon me...
pleezed with her 'adorable'
Honey-Bear and his handsome Lion-Lust to
find-and-catch something true-lea beautiful
for 'Her' to wear.with-him.at her side.
jewels, cords, lace and stitches
were found for Her in the woo-ds
of this book.
these will make for a good
::.mid-night-love-knot.::
...she and me are a bit...
adventur-ous...(.goferous.)
See selection:'Listening and Retaining'
for what i believe is the 'CLiMaX'
of this book.
(.next comment.)
(.hours later.)
(.still at.chp.11.)
eye hope Maydn squeels!
:::.joy and passion.:::
at this little-show of love.
of typing this book. for Her.
cuz Many.many.minie. times...
she has 'danced'jigglz for me.
with special comments.messages.gifts.
to make my love-lights.burn.long!.
.and.brite.(.sparkles.)
s-oh! i hope this book-report 'FLoODS'
yOur Tree-house in Warm-ee-Red-Light.
the.shady-tree-z grow'a'glow'
for.you...all.night.
Oh.my.loverly.love.lea.filly-z.
..hu!.ouch...
i got.poin'ty'typing that.
is it cold in here?
do you want a knot-ee-fire.?
we cood strrret-ch taffy two-feet!
before it 'snapp's -back.again.
(.keeps it from getting hard.)
butt then im thinking the same
for those lovely 'points' you have.
what-s your taste for tonight?
taffy-oR-titty?...You-R choice.!
ooops...let me (ask) for your
priori-tit-ee-z in a softer more
sub-tul-lucious.fashion...cuz i
woodnt want us to...get...to-the...
'point'.so fffff ee-zee.
book continues...
::::Chapter Eleven::::
;;THe FIne Art Of Listening;
marriage is a commitment...long-term commitment. invest mutual funds long-range benefits. success in short-range is less likely.../Marriage regard with long-range mentality.
(my note:your legacy: is the world you want to give to the world...its what you choose to leeve behind, for your friends and naybors to be a-heart-part of when you have passed away...just as those who came before you some-what affected how you wood spend your days: in freedom oportunity. or slavery. )
Marriage has so many Ups and Downs on the grass-chart you can-not measure its worth by Todays Values...its needful to view its effect on lives in terms of years...long-term...(check)(check) if you 'recognize' the NEED.(you and others have...and had in generations past.)for in-vesting in marriage long term. And are committed to persevering threw the ups and downs, then, like mutual funds.(.money games.) it will pay-off with enjoyable dividends.
(my note:..only its in people...not devalued-dollar paper-jokes...this is why earlier cultures places so much 'value' on their sons and daughters...it 'IS' there security...which today we gladly give up for another paper-dollar with no Real worth behind it...committing our kids to a life of crime-and-debts we cood-not pay for...that will be their legacy...we plant it...they eat it.)
(.www.legacywriter.com? Legal Living-Trust documents...we can break agreements...and ones that start with 'eye-love-you' but god will hold us to it...no matter what we do.)
;;How Partnerships Work;
Mutual funds have 'investment managers'...(mom and dad?)...during the period they manage your investment, many decisions are made: (where to live, what to eat and do for fun.) which companies.(friends?).to stay with, and which companies are performing better...and.HOW.MUCH.shood be switched-over to those companies to gain the most benefits.(.join them and the future of their behavior.)...Once you-have-made-your-choice about which.(wtd.).mutual funds you are going to invest with, you stick-with-them and subject-yourself to the managers advice and suggestions. You 'communicate' and work-together for the benefit of both parties. (.a marriage.)
.../Now think of the long-term commitment you made to your wife.(dash) potential for improvment...submit yourself to more-than-one frame of reference.(.your own.) for success...wise and good methods of managment wither it be marriage, health, or buisness.../men dont 'realize' learning-from-their-wives is a-part of what will enhance the value of their long-term investment.(check)(check).../you have a real nice product.(dream) now find an investor...one who knows all about your product and is willing to give to it...reserving the rite to challenge and test its success, your assumptions, your conclusions, even your operation-methods to make it work.
;;Like Buisness, Like Marriage;
Lets transfer that idea to your marriage. Lets say you are considering a partnership, 'investing' in the most beautiful, capable, fun woman you have ever met. You are convinced she is Gods gift to you, and you are looking at 30 to 60 years or so of potential enjoyment because of your investment...ASK alot of questions, validating compatability, her strengths and weaknesess, what she projects for the future...so you can see if those will be mutually enjoyable...(for you too.)...she asking you questions...after all, her 'fortunes' are going to be tied-up in how successfuly you conduct yourself /as co-owner...your wife mite want to have some (SAY) in the way the buisness is run...if she saw things happening that caused her to have questions...(things guys can not see.)...no matter how embarrasing the questions.(dont get angry...she is looking-out for your benefit.)... as co-ownner wood it be within her rite to do so?
.../Representing two different catagories these two people in a buisness environment 'ARE' different persons.(not just 'ONE') and shood.value.and.draw.upon each others special capacities.../his wife is His most valuable investment, to often he treats her as tho it were not true.../Ive lost thousands of valuables by making decisions that Nancy.(wtd)disagreed.with. Those were losses for her too. but that didnt matter to me. i was unwilling to listen to her. Those memories cause me great heart-ache Now.(.feelings.benefits.special-effects...a possible legacy.was lost.).../leaders often feel threatened by their wifes advice, But King Solomon.(wise men.).didnt feel endangered by questions...even hard questions by the Queen of Sheba:i.kings.10:1-3...
.../but you say:IAm no Solomon, my wife can really 'Grill' me and eye loose confidence...the real question is...do you see God at work. Is your failure to understand your wifes.needs.for.reassurance.or clarification being exposed? do you know how to meet her as christ wood, or do you get rattled?
;;Listening and Retaining;
We men can not seem to'Re-tain'.husband-wife information.(.lovers are goo-goo-brained.).We convey the idea we are totally unable to carry a beneficial relationship conversation.(.that why i need to type this to maydn...talking wont work.)...We can remember what they wanted us to pick up at the root-cellar nor what to teach the kids...thats another reason why wives say:///You just dont listen!.
.../and yet its amazing how much information men will accumulate about sports. we listen to sportscasts by the hour, remembering the answers to thousands of trivia questions...but ask a man what his wifes favorite fragrance or Color is...and he probly goes blank. even tho he has seen her in it countless times.
.../example:man says:How was your day. She says:Rotten! the kids were wine-ee, and gofers were in the flower-bed...and dishes bla.bla.bla...(check) All-tho eye am hearing all this, My concentration is either on relaxing or doing a project.(.as a man typing this eye can say this is VeRy True!.).So iAm thinking:do i reely need to know about this stuff?...becuz im nobel...i patiently wait for her to finish.
.../on other occasions like this Nancy will say:///YOUr not Listening to Me!!, and i will react;IAM TOO!...and repeat everything she said. but eye was listening only witn my.physical.ears..(wtd) i was not listening with my heart...my heart was really on relaxing or getting busy on a project...i was not-emotionaly-involved in what she had experienced during the day. i was not listening with my heart...(.no.but i wood!...gofers'get'my attention.)
.../Women have a God-designed sense.(check).about wether we are listening or Not.in.order.to.HELP-ER.us.(.theres that word again.).learn how to relate to them from our hearts. Not just listening...they are the training ground for learning to listen-from-our-heart. so we can also listen to God and others from the heart.
.../So what 'IS':::Listening:::(check)(check) with my heart...and'getting' emotionally involved? answer?: It happens when, as my wife is telling me about her day. I identify with her. I start to think:(SAY)(wtd) YOU Know, that must relly be exasperating, to have the kids wine-ing and hang-ing On You and tugging at you. note:And.I.STart.To.Imagine.kids hanging on ME! saying:DAddy, Daddy, Daddy... Then eye imagine the Go-fer in the Flower-Bed, and my wife Thinking: Oh great! Just what i need. My husband is really going to be mad when he finds out about this.
.../At this stage in.my.re-capitulation.(re-casted by me.).of her feelings.(what eye know of her...how she wood think-threw somthing.).:::Im reely-feeling-FOR-her., thinking: NO-Wonder she is down. I can not help but empathize with-HER, AND:im attentively communicating my understanding 'BY' my comments, my attitude, my looks, and my body language.(that eye am with-her in her expressions and feelings.).and THAT will minister to any womans spirit.(check)(check)
(.my note: to me, THIS-IS-IT!...that-statement was the-end of a long search to understand the mind of a woman. eye-do-honestly-believe i cood not'Fuck' nor 'sex-pleez' a woman to-the-Moon any'Harder'than that. to me this 'IS' what they 'crave-for' and 'long-for' the most-deeply...
eye can 'End' the boy-girl study ::HERE::. or be extra sexual sensitive-cruel-and-lucious.(love-torture) to maydn by typing more of this book and its 'fill-in' details.illustations.of what 'that-statement' is all about.(see.romance novels?) letting maydn cum-down the other-side of the 'peek' gentle-ee and slow-lee with many kisses to 'flatter'her'compleet-lea.
...this will compleet her loverly appetites..(.for.one.night.atleest.)
...which iam tempted to do by continue-ing to type-this-book...(.who knows what-else Imay find here.)...and yes Maydn will sure-lee comment on this...cuz Im still wondering at how many 'kittens' this will produce...they are all climbing around maydns feet and 'mee-yow-ing' at her for some milk!...wither or not a MAN will actually be allowed to practice and purrr-fect 'that-kind' of mate-ing with her...will be completely up to --> Her. ...and Why is that? read what comes next:
.../Based on the guys I've worked with over the years. I can imagine some men being ready to.Throw.Up.by now.(.yuk!..girl-stuff.).All that 'touchy-feely' stuff is...too-much! A lot of men are quite content with this attitude:///Just give me the facts, Ma'am...if thats you, i can guarantee that your wife has said: YOU dONT.LisTen To ME!!...and you have bin exhausted with confusion because, like me, you know you cood have repeated word for word everything she said. But when wives say that we are not listening to them, (check).They Meeee-n:You dOnt Respond to Me from Your Heart with understanding or empathy. You are not Feeling-with-Me.
.../despite the so-called'gender-revolution' in which men and women are supposedly 'freed' now...men still have a terrible time identifying with their wives.(.butt i hope my.mate-ing.with.maydn.was 'deep' and sucsexful!' this time.(heart)(heart) <3 <3...men have bin tawt for generations that emotions are feminine...women are more of a'pain' than anything else. This thinking has allowed men to avoid developing 'their-own'emotional communicators...unable to identify with and respond to the emotions of almost anyone, especially their wives.
.../Lord and MAster Jesu was.able.to.share.in the emotions of others:John.11:21-38...with groaning...and...he wept.with-them.(empathy:do)(in all points as we.)(check) (check).../so uncork those feelings god gave as part of our original equipment, can be revived, begin to communicate at-the-heart-level...with(and threw.)our wives...(how?:become transparent...see chapter.12.)
;;Recognizing Our Emotions;
see the need to award.high.value. to emotions.(wtd)...its extreemly difficult (.for.HIM.)to recognize the important-Role emotions 'play' in spirit-leaders.ship..../Most men are 'NOT' able to inter-act with their wives on an emotional-lever. HE wont'recognize' his wifes, if he dosnt recognize his own.(th.lion.th.boy.th.brother.???.th-adoptive-thinking-father.).else he cannot communicate with his wife nor God on a heart-to-heart level. (check)
(my note:i want to ::Here:: incourage maydn in Bible-reading. to know his heart. his character...eye dont understand my friend either...all he wants...is for me to 'Listen'...and know him good enuff to be-able-to-guess what he is thinking when you run into problems and non-problems.)
.../physical separation from your Man.(husband).and divorce...is only the results of the 'inside-divorce'that was always there!...the fact that your husband is naturaly and complelee emotionaly-disfunctional.(separated from you.on his insides.).../he comes into my office saying: my wife is leaving me. so i ask him:WHY is she leaving you. He tells me(as almost all do):EYe do not Know!...///why do 'YOU' think she is leeving you? He responds as most do: I asked her why, and she just says:Im not going to tell you again! And she woodnt tell me!...so i ask him: do you real-ize she has 'tried' to tell you? and he answers:WHEN?
.../so i continue:Have you ever heard her say things like:///Why do i'TRY' to talk with you? You always end up 'Ram'ming my words down my throat! Or have you ever Heard Her Say:Oh,what difference does it make anyway!? You dont care! Or Maybe This:WHY do i bother to get in an Argument with You? ///You always end up being right.
.../surprised he answers:As a matter of fact, ive herd her say ALL those.(note:a surprise opens hearts...he is about to 'learn'somthing new and true.) She has bin trying to tell you whats wrong.(check).but.you.dont.know.how.to.listen.to.your.heart. you just focus on her'words'...(.ihope maydn can hear mine...do eye herz?).../wives are Always trying to Communicate.(wtd).so from the-first-days of mate-ing they start test-ing to see wither we know how to listen-from-our-hearts to their hearts.
(my note:.hmm.so thats why girls go-fer all these hearts and flower-shapes ...they care about spirits.emotions...i dont see'sensible' guys sitting around drawing hearts and flowers...its not man-lee...or is it? this book is confu-zing.or am i thinking logical all the time...and without emotions.)
;;Indicators Of Unsolved Communication Problems;
(special 'zapping' tools for maydn to find weak-spots.)
1.The Same Arguments Resuface.
2.Faults or character-flaws are brot up repetedly.
3.They cannot agree on priorities, including those
related to work.
4.They dont agree on how to manage the children.
5.Persistent, offensive personal habits.
6.The sexual relationship is not satisfying.
Harmony comes in many forms.
A call to peacemaking.
The-End of a marriage.(or.relationship.) whither on
amiable-terms.(done-gently) or in Anger.(last-fite)
...Is Always due to 'un-resloved' problems...
Pok-ing around in the ruins of a marriage.(thats.Me).will re-veal problems here, some there, i-will-discuss some 'indicators'...which are actually an inability.(un-willing).to.listen.as Christ wood.
;;1.The Same Arguments Resuface.;
despite.years.and.years. of expressing her fears, his buggy-driving habits still make her arrive at their destination with a 'Knot' in her stomach. Yet he 'rationalizes' her fears.(not heed)...ie:shes just high-strung.../and what about a wifes not-so-secret attitude toward certain friends? his attitude changes when they come-around, and he gets defensive when she says so. Or the way you never let her know what you do with valuables...an affair you had...and on and on.../constant reminders are ment to HELP-US recognize that we have not-yet delt with the-real problem. our leader-ship. can be christ-like and healing.
;;2.Faults or character-flaws are brot up repetedly.;
when wives bring up your faults to others, they are viewed as 'nagging' and they are 'wrongfully' believed to be woman who enjoy demeening.
(my note:thats why i do not like to 'show' anger...an angry person dosnt frite-en me...all eye see is somebody acting stupid...so that must be what people see when im 'acting' angry....they dont understand. so you look foolish!...is that what you wanted to tell them? Hello. Im a fool!.?.)
Even if wives were critical of authority before they met their husband, they need to be healed of their wounded spirits.(.so duz the-bride of christ:his followers.) (wtd)(check)(check)they need to be shown their worth. They 'NEED' to HEAR words of praise and kindness. They need to understant How valuable they are.(not just once-in-a-lifetime facts, but daily'living're-minders). And the Surelee must be valuable!...God sent his son to bartar and die for them.!
.../Learning to Translate his wifes negative comments into positive insights.(wtd) develop the capacity to re-interpret WHAT the attitudes represent in a Postive way.(stroke her furry-hair in the rite direction.), and follow up his new translation by 'expressing' his new understanding to his wife in the form of character-quality praises.(.eg.sincerity.patients.kindness.add a new definition to it and bible verse examples.)...THAT was a mouthfull!! let me give examples: when this husbands wife is reciting her list of his-faults, he must believe that God is not cawt off guard, that He is not unaware of what his wife is saying of him and that god can use her in her husbands life. so have two objects:
1.give credibility to your wifes complaints. discover what god wants to Teach you... examples: if she says:Your a Liar.is it cuz you dont 'recognize' 'How' you are negatively affecting her spirit? and so you evaluate and express her sentiments from your perspective? She hears your expressions as 'denial' on your part, that things she talks of never happened. this helps you to Realize that you do not understand her...(view with her) as you wood. /if she says your not godly, god wants to show you threw her of hypocricy in your life. your not very convincing to her.(much less to God.) when you condemn her for her short-comings. since she knows you better than anyone else.(this is true of maydn.we do accidently think-ahead on the same things some times.)...she knows you dont-got-it together enuff to point a finger at anyone. God wants you to seek-first the kingdom of God and HIS right-ness, becuz He knows you are not! distracted and fooled into not being with-christ while pointing a finger of blame away from yourself.
2.As You hear negative comments,(.from me.).learn how to identify the positive quality those comments can also represent. change negative-to-positive...examples:you wifes long list prooves she has a good memory for details,(SAY:)i know God wants me to be more with-christ. change a detail that is not like his Son. So he has placed someone in my life who has an excellent memmory. (SAY).i want to learn how to be more appreciative of that fact. the character God wants me to build threw your help. i want to value you(my wife)as he does.../you can use this also with negative labels you have used:ie.he'Nagging'(maydn is a brat) is actually = motivational Reminders... Her 'Nit-Picking' is = her high standards...her'Pointing-out-hypocricy' is = her concern for right-ness.
.../These are only a few examples.(wtd)...but you must 'believe' you are not being christ-like when you are condemning:john.8:2-11. You must be 'sincere' at seeing god at work in your life...change from accusing your wife of faults to valuing what you see god teaching 'YOU' threw her. (else all this boy-girl study is just pointing and blaming...no learning.no growing.no love.)
;;3.They cannot agree on priorities, including those related to work.;
(ASK) How wood you respond if eye asked:What are your wifes Five-Top priorities? this is foreign thinking to most men. Men woodnt listen for the answer.(tender hints) cuz they woodnt ask that question! .../not thot to (ASK) Maydn for her priori-tit-ee-z.
.../only when a man sits down and discusses HIS prioroties duz he 'recognize' the need(wtd) .../the woman wants somthing nice for the tree-house, but deudam wont bartar for it, so in his confusion the husband thinks his wife is bored at home, cuz she is out trying to bartar her way and bring it home. He concludes: she thinks im inadequate. .../this failure to genuinely 'seek' (ASK) to discover one-anothers priori-tit-ee-z affects the boy-girl relationship and also 'ships' with the community, clan, and craft-places.
;;4.They dont agree on how to manage the children.;
rejecting responsibility with///dont look at me! their your kids!.(ooops! i just said that to maydn on the phone.)...that statement is an indication of disharmony on how to raise the children...kids quikly see where mom and dad dont agree! and use this to 'pit' the parents against each-other, so they can be left to their own-ways.(.i suggested this trick for driving people off the land also.) .the more tension kids feel between mom and dad...the more un-rule.(.no.belief.in.walls.)the kids become...
.../this problem 'points' simply to a LacK of communion...the couple shood have discussed this Loong-before children came along.(ooops!) (do-ASK.about our Legacy.).Husband:recognize the disharmony and approach it with-christ in attitude.(not with blame.accusation.nor'Toy'with maydns feelings.).the re-duck-shun of tent-shun.wull make it'possible' to plant proper priori-tit-ee-z at all levels of the tree-house...including disipline of knot-ee children. .../but this again is going to require leader-ship commitment to'intense' mate-ing...listening to her for understanding, since each parent has special reasons for reflecting on parenthood has He or She duz.
(.my note: and again Maydn i dont expect you to Ret-member ALL of this, its like Bible-Study...you just soak-the-words-in...so the Spirit can re-mind you 'when' you need it most...the Spirit of Xmas 'can-Not' remind if you what your Red if you 'dough-Knot' let-His-WORDS-in...in-the first place.!
as for me i sinceerly hope i forget ALL this. cuz its imbarrassing...i asked God to make me a Great Tribal Leader and He is giding me in the 'wrong' direction! ...write.into your arms.)
;;5.Persistent, offensive personal habits.;
...'seeks'to true-lea undeerstand his wife and minister to her spirit will becom=e keen-lee concious.(sensitive)of personal habits smells looks that 'iriitate'his wife. She will have liberty to share her feelings with him.../if he refuzes to 'toon-in' (he is not going to change) she may try to emotionaly seperate.(divorce).herself from the irritation...but can still be a cause of 'silence' 'angry outbursts' when she is emotionaly-up-tite.../we all joke about how to squeez things or where to toss the socks and underware. More seer-ee-us tho are the habits at the table when guests arrive. Or after meals when wife need xtra help with kids...do-not (SAY:)its not 'MY' problem if she gets ///irritated over little things. (find out what they are...totaly non-related to her behaviour...but found a vent...threw a behaviour.)(check)
.../once GOd convicts a man about with-christ-ness, and he begins to care about 'HOW' he is affecting his wife, its amazing the attention He-Will-PAy to the need of.building.one-ness.of.spirit. (a prit-ee painted tree-house.) He and his wife will develop similar priortys to acheev a very merry-christ-like-ness.
;;6.The sexual relationship is not satisfying.;
when not-good...not mutualy-satisfying.(for both)...then 'we know'there is trouble in the relationship. Or do we? (ASK!) What if the husband thinks its great. but his wife isnt being honest. unable or unwilling to express her true opinion...True Sexual Satisfaction is the 'result' of Total-communication.../Romance is more than a flower. Tho that does incurrage a response...it includes being cheerful when entering, noticing the children, occupying them while wife gets dinner red-ee, helping with dishes, con-sider these 'other' attractions:
--.make her a card for no particular reason.
--.make a new-place in the trees to sit...bring some herb tea.
--.listen to some music and invite your best-girl to dance with you.
--.wear somthing scented.
--.Take care of Bad-breath.
--.hold her hand...(make many chances for it.)
--.occasionaly prepare dinner for her.
The.mood is set.(charging-up-her-desires.).by thot-ful and care-ing attitudes and 'actions' every day.(check) Will you? a-tune.(music) to this kind-of-thinking...to improov communion with your wife?
;;Harmony Comes in Many Forms.;
...honey? (.oh bother.there she goes again, trying to get me to do somthing...no dont think that...she is looking-out for your benefit and a unimaginable legacy.)...honey? yes dear,What is it. she says: i think you cood improve clan-xfers and incor-age free-thinking and local-craft if you simply changed your out-fit...you need threds...somthing that says your into local-izing and re-tribe-ing...somthing simple...but different.
he replies: Now how is one stitch going to do all that?..???.watch and see! appearance is everything...even if its just skin-deep.../moons and millions of results-back later: id like to say to my wife: thank-you. for that important point of change. Thanks Hon!.../understanding the messages your wife.(spoken and unspoken) is tying to convey, will be a relation-ship that is greater than YOU can imagine.( be-ond.your own dreems.)...cuz no matter what your fondest self-sufficient farm dreams are, they are only the surface material of what God has in mind for you when your ways please Him. 1.cor.5:7
;;A Call To Peace-Making.;
blessed are.the peace-makers.Matt.5:9...i wanted to be one, to be christlike in my relationships, i knew to acheive that i wood have to study my wife. to know her disposition as i know myself.(.know is love. and me for maydn.).../this also provides living-examples for the community.(.somthing we need now very baad-lee, not care-ing to fit-in with the-spirit and clothing and attituded of-the-non-local that is poisoning all our movements and waste-ing time and lives and writing a legacy i dont want to be born into...there is a Need! and we will devote all of chapter fourteen to benefits(.results.).derived from being a with-christ husband...chapter twelve will add insites.(you can add more.)we gain by becoming transparent.
::::chapter twelve::::
;;Getting Our Hearts Together.;
What would hapn if you gave your wife freedom to express exactly.how she feels about you and.what.you are doing? wood you feel threatened? afraid she may intimidate you.?.(you can but thats never her purpose nor shood it be.).../Mans 'unwillingness' to permit that freedom is.at.the.heart of all relation-ship(xfer).problems.(when the heart of the one you bartar with...hug your boss!.) (check.)(check.)...i consider it a MAJOR reason why wives develop emotional and physical problems and walk-out on you one day, much to the surprise of their husbands.(.///she just walked out on me!...stabbed...but tired of his 'unintentional?'stabbing also.)...some men ARE threatened by the amount of freedom i give my wife...they reacted strongly.
(.my note:cuz they are unable to see the legacy it wood provide?...look at the amish!.how many blunders wood it take before they were living like we do?...it happens more than you think! key-word:decay...pick-up the pieces and make somthing beautiful.)
.../iAm not suggesting the wife 'demand' that freedom. tho some wood benefit, i belive it is biblical.(wtd.)for the husband to (ASK) his wife to help-him see himself.threw her eyes.(.what do other creatures see?.) Romans.2:1 you point out problems, but wont look at yourself? .../letting your wife inspect you will bring even more jitters. than a year-lee moonth-lee check-up. the danger of a 'super-viser'(.A.Ret-activist in your area.) out to get-you is to-real to laff-off the possibilities of what wood happen for non-results.
.../if you got paper and pencil, list the areas your wife mite tackle the firt time you ask her for advice on improvments in your attitude and behaviour., put yourself in her place,, trying to imagine how and why she mite think that...(empathize with her...this is good practice for all your contacts who help you control a turff or give advice on xfers.)...note:just 'asking' your wife to do such a thing wood 'flatter' her. with good-feelings toward you...cuz you are'letting' her into your life!
;;A Vested Interest.;
has she not built her life around you? has she not invested heavy-duty emotional-energy into the relationship to make it work? Aside from you, she has the most to gain or loose if you make-it or fail...even if she had everything...her relationship with.you.is the most important thing in her life...(.make.time.for.her...visit a cemetary and be-reminded...what is true-lee important...her love...and her smile...people shood share there-lives while they can...make.time.for.her...and talk.heart-to-heart.)
.../make it part to listen to your wife in as many situations as possible. else you are setting-yourself-up for real difficulty in the long-run. For A wife will go to incredible lengths to keep a marriage alive, but there does come a.breaking.point.
;;A Womans Unique Ability to Think Ahead.;
I have discovered that women have a fantastic ability to think-ahead in marriage and home-related situations...ability to'imagine' what may happen in a given situ. and then come(.jump.) to conclusions.what to do...so the husband who does not regularly-talk-things-over will find her wife (jumping) to conclusions based on faulty-inadequet information...finding himself re-acting negatively to what she is doing...not knowing how important the issue is to his wife...he reacts cooly or with disgust, and she responds in anger at being demeaned...he can only blame himself. as a husband who has not drawn her into his confidence enuff to keep her informed...generate trust and 'active' interaction.
;;The Reason Behind The Request.;
Getting at it can be a Real detective Game. actively discovering what is in the mind of your wife.(.to know you is to love.you.)(try 20-questions.?) example:A mail man gives you mail with your address, but not your name. why did you give this to me? this is not my name. The mailman knows the man and that it is not his name but the mailman duznt care...its addressed to this address...this arguement cood go on forever cuz they are argueing about the wrong thing...the mans wife has a superior knowledge of her area and knows who's name is on the letter...problem solved.
.../next example:Now lets get to a Real case in my range:Harry is saying Millie is trying to Bankrupty him by overspending.(a fear that more men have that you can imagine.), i told Harry this perception of Her is wrong and critical,condemning,and harmful to his marriage.
.../during counciling millie calls and upsets Harry again: that was Millie, she just asked if she cood go down to the Bank and by new Patio Furniture for No-Reason at all...how can she ask that? she knows we dont have the money. You said i shood learn-from her...what now? do i tell her yes or no?
.../Harry had misunderstood the phrase:'Listen to Her'. He thot it ment:'do as she says.'...i told Harry it meens:'Stop placing little or No-value on her words.' learn what her feelings are saying...not just words.(keep it in context. to what may be happening...related issues.not wild guesses to why she wood say that.).there is more to this than a yes or a no.
.../Harry was so-cawt-up in his emotional-prejudice.(she's trying to Ruin Me.) that he was.not.free.to.think.a creative thot. Millie is an excellent hostess...she wants it for her guests...she can borrow the naybor...rent it...hold it for someone who is moving.(U-Haul.)and cant move-it now. i wanted Harry to look farther down the road.(in his thinking) and call her to make plans for its arrival...and he did...it worked! he said. i cant believe this! Just 15-minutes ago eye was'Boiling'Mad at.(check).my wife. and here i am completly over it and even feeling good toward her.
.../Harry said:what i cant get over is how you knew what Millie was thinking!.../i said: i learned that to discover how women think, i had to learn how my wife thinks. You can do the same...and he did.(wtd)...He is learning what it meens to listen and then lay down his life for his wife. and others noticed the change in their relationship.Matt.5:16 let your light shine.
.../the solution was: willingness to determine what was causing the real-problem...was a lack of understanding eachothers motives.(.no talk time) ...his wife begins to trust him...ephesians.5:33.../You see? the 'apparent' problem is 'not' the problem...its not knowing how to solve the problem that wears men out. and brings on fites.
;;The Reason For All those Questions;
Most women i know ask alot of questons.(wtd.)irritate the daylights out of you...how do you react?...for one mans wife...every-other line was a question:///he exploded:Boy thats one thing that really makes me mad. She drives me crazy with her questions...is said:wood you like to know why?...he said:i sure wood...
.../I 'recognized' i needed to prepare him for what i was about to say.(wtd).so i shared with him what every woman does naturaly, but few men do it at all. Yet cuz women think like women, they are puzzled when they learn that many men do not do this. It happens while women are asking questions.
.../Let me illustrate: she (ASK)s:are YOu going somewhere?...(uh.oh!.).just the words send-up a Red-flag in a Mans mind...he is irritaited cuz he'thinks' his wife is 'checking'up on him. He is a big boy now, but he forgets that he needs to consider his wifes feelings. and feel more'comfortable'when she knows where her husband is going. His 'reaction' however makes her 'feel' gilty for (ASK)ing...(thats strike-one for the Man.)...since his attitude conveys.(to her):of Corse im going somewhere,dummy. Is That okay wity You, Mommy?
.../He may not(SAY)those exact words, but he is letting her(get that message) know that he is bothered by her question. And tho he has shown her His resentment, she hesitantly asks:Where are you going?.(this part brings tears to my eyes as eye type it cuz i know whats happening...i Red.ahead.)...With increased resentment He Replies: To the clans Market!
.../At this point most wives wood stop asking questions. Since they are so keenly aware of their husbands resentment.(a woman needs to 'feel'loved...not just 'told'.)...But to make a point, lets press forward in the illustration. We Will imagine this is a very brave wife who keeps asking questions: What are you going to Clan-Mart for? she asked gardedly. 'To Bartar some wheels' he snaps back.
With hesitation in her voice and some inner fear, she asks:What are you going to Bartar wheels for?...For the WAGON!...he is at the shouting-stage now. Braving Both physical and emotional danger, she says with hesitation in her voice: What kind of Wheels are you going to Bartar? For crying out loud! local-spokes kind. Will you get off my back? he yells.
.../Just what is there within a woman to cause her to keep asking questions, even tho she will be terribly hurt? Because of her husbands frequently expressed resentment. she knows she will feel that she is doing somthing wrong by asking. She will feel.(build-up).gilty for his poor-reaction. It goes back to why questions are so much a part of a woman.
.../When i use THIS illustration in a seminar-lecture, i KNOW that practically every woman gets an image in her mind of the local Clan-Mart store she is familiar with. You see? most women visualize thing concerning relationships, but most men dont.(wtd)
;;A MAtter Of Visualization;
Here is what is happening.(check)(check)A wife who is pledged to her husband needs to feel she is a part of his life. so her questions are'A.WAY.'.for her to.enter.into.his.life. She can, in her mind, go with him to clan-Mart. Lets go threw our scenerio again with the responses a typical woman will have during that exchange.
WIFE:Are You going somewhere?
Husband:Yes, to Clan-Mart...(at this point the wife gets a vivid picture of Her Clan-Mart in her mind. She has mentaly joined him on his bartar expedition...(wow!.maydn must like some of my posts.)
WIFE:Why are we going to the Clans-Mart?
Husband:To Bartar some Wheels...(in her mind she is see-ing the Mud-dome where the wheel-maker works.
Wife:WHat are we Bartar-ing for Wheels for?...(mentaly she is feeling several sizes and types of wheel in the pile.
Husband:FOR the Wagon...(.now she has a picture of His dark green wagon in her mind.)
Wife:What type of Wheel are we getting for the Wagon?
Husband:Local-spokes...(.Oh! isnt that wagon pretty with its new spoke-wheels, she mite be thinking as she stands admiring this picture in her mind, almost as if it is a reality.)
.../Now this may seem corny, childish, or hard to relate to for many men, but it actually happens. And it happens often in the life of your wife.
(my word:.Yikes...dont call her a 'cott-zee-frau'(german) women dont like you saying anything is odd about their body...it may be a 'cute' joke to a boy...but to a girl...its somthing they try to 'imagine' and you 'know' they want to feel 'acceptable'...boy i reely messed up that day...)
.../let her into your life that way...or you will cause her to feel.personaly.rejected. She will feel hurt and gilty.(key-words.)at the same time. WHy gilty? becus so many woman have bin told a good-woman duz not question her Husband. She just trusts him...That position, of course, implies that her questions indicate that she duz not trust him, which is not the case at all.
.../for the wife, especially a newly married one, questions express desires, a need, a craving, to be identified with her husband, to sense that she and her husband are one. He has accepted her into his total confidence, which makes her feel she is valuable to him. Then she feels complete.(two are one.)
.../Jesu said he wood not call us servants...but friends...(.this stuff is heart-hurting...cuz it show where the hurt is...and why...)...here is the relationship christ has with us.John.15:5...Jesu is saying that he wood include us in his life and build a special relationship with us. He expects us to refelect(copy)that in our relationship with our wives. even tho it is contrary to the insticts and traditions of men.
.../Remember when we examined what attracted the Queen of Sheba to Solomon.? it was her willingness to answer her questions.1.kings.10:1-9.and that caused her to worship god. woodnt you like to see your responses to your wifes questions.(or anyones.)enhance their worship of GOd.?.
(my thot:why didnt eye see that? start thinking! if god wants to tell you somthing...and he uses stories.(like jesu did)...what mite he be saying to 'you' by using a bible story to tell you... if you sit on information, and dont apply it. it is useless...the love letters never made it to you. or do not have the response he wants...do yours?...)
;;A Case Of Wrong Expectations.;
see nr6.txt
(.coin-cidence?.)
me and Maydn just finished a read-together: Book:THe Purpose Driven Life, by Rick WArren. It Was 'DAy Eight'...about what 'REAL' worship is, its not a style of music. nor is it for our enjoyment, we do not go to get somthing out of it, its a lifestyle, our daily dishes and attitudes and words we give each day, lifting spirits to God, for his enjoyment, what He wants from us, which is always helps us grow as a person, in ways we usually wood see fit nor pleasant, but needful for our growth of who we are to be.
paused.
nr6.txt - - - - v1-26-09
understanding a woman...
book by Ken Nair...
book continues...
;;A Case Of Wrong Expectations.;
Yet the process of 'visualization' can cause a real problem. A woman tends to think: IAM a human-being, and my husband is a human being, now since eye.(a woman).visualize things, all people.(even men) must also. Men, of course, think all women use the.same.logical.thot=process they employ.(a lust for the womans figure and logical-methods.) (wtd) (natural barriers between sexes) And couples can live together for decades with these faulty assumptions causing disagreements, fights, even divorce.(convinced that he-she is wrong.)
.../Thats why,as time goes on, a wife will hurt, when her husband does not, .threw. conversation. show that he is interested in her.(check) ...duznt let her ask him conversational questions. She feel that if.he.were.to.(ASK).detailed conversational questions, it wood 'PROVE' to her that he is interested in the details of her everyday life. Its hard for men.to.relate.to.the.idea.that if they (ASK)their wives question, thw wives believe that their husbands really care for them.
(my comment:i know what men think, cuz i 'live' man-thots every day: men look-at-the-obvious: eg.duz she have food and shelter, if not, why talk about it? go 'do' somthing to show you love her. 'talking' will not help...it may even 'be' the problem, i dont have emotions that are fed. why wood she need her emotions cared-for by 'talking'?)
.../this next example of a man, bothered by his wifes questions, experienced a major breakthrough cuz he learned how.to.value.questions.(wtd?)
.../She calls:eye need some help'///'(end of her rope) i dont know if eye can go on like this. We just had a fite, and Dan said to me;I do Not Love You. .../i was getting all the facts.(of this case.) when she said: i told him i needed to go to the doctor, and he responded with his usual indifference: So GO!...she 'felt' like she had bin slapped in the face...his words were 'echoing' in her ears all day, she returned at evening 'hoping' he wood show he cared by 'asking' a question like: What did the doctor say?...but no words of caring came from his lips.../so the wifes damaged feelings were.wounded.again by his indifference. Hurt and Angry she went into the house. Then she rememberd somthing from one of the sessions, that she was to be his 'Helpmeet' to remind him to look-at-his-ways and remember his commitment to God.
.../Trying to ignore her hurt she tried again, 'Im Home!' she said in a musical cheerful voice. His response was:'maybe you think im blind?' (do ask me in to your heart.)...A Mans view-point:you see, he was irritated by all the bothersome interuptions. They were interfering with his 'TASK' of getting the wagon 'wheeled'. .../so she Lost control after his response, saying angrily: I Do Not THink You Love Me!.'///'.the cork flew off and accusation after accusation flowed out.
.../Inside him: Altho he was irritated, his next response was the result of true-lee searching his feelings, he said: I Think your right. I dont think I do Love You. She didnt know that inside he was honestly facing.(talking.to.and accusing.).himself for the first time. She only heard his words, and of corse, she was devastated.(.way-not the response she had hoped for.)
.../That was when she called me...(.and began to sort-out what ree-lee happened.) i said: this may seem cruel. but your husband honestly didnt 'KNOW' he didnt love you.
(my addition: He cood not 'compare' his treatment of his wife with what Ken Nair was saying...until Now...cuz it was all 'new' to him...he did-not know he was 'not' responding to her, not-feeding her love so it cood grow...there was no way to compare his actions, compared to what? ...until now!...now he cood see what he was doing to himself and to his wife.)
But now that he can 'see' that he duznt love you.(wtd).he can also see that he duznt know how to make you 'feel' loved. THATS THE FIRST STEP to solving the problem...recognizing that there is, in fact, a problem...(.you cannot get people saved until they know they are lost.) If a man 'insists' that he 'duz' love his wife, even tho she feels unloved, than he wont look for an answer, and likely not think there is a problem...just her.
.../The husbands next statement was fantastic: SO what do i do know? he did not know that even that-question was 'encouraging' to her. And i told him. and he said: your kidding. Just (ASK)ing a question shows her that i care?.(.Boing! he got it.) (check) (check)
.../He clearly didnt know 'HOW' to experience the feelings of others, not even those of his wife. He had not bin trying to hurt his wife, but no one ever tot-him to feel-for others.(.lift their spirits.?). He didnt know how to enter.INTO. the lives of others by inquiring and listening...since then he has bin learning how to love his wife, how to (ASK) questions, How to welcome her questions, how to picture.in.his.mind.things.(she says with her.)that will make him able to live with his wife.in.an.under.standing.way. (check)
(.i hope maydn duznt expect me to do all that!...will she help me?.)
.../Remember the husband in my office who was so upset about his wife asking so many questions/ i used the above illustration to help him understand 'why' women ask so many questions. And remeber the Clan-Mart example?.(visualization) he asked:do most women reely visualize like that? i assured him they do.../When i use the Clan-Mart illustration at workshop sessions husbands usually turn to their wives and ask the same question. Wives, in turn, ask their husbands: YOu meen you men do 'Not' visualize like that?
.../Visualizing is ONE of the reasons, incidently, that many women get so frightened by the driving habits of their husbands. They can visualize the results of recklessness. Its also why they are so 'ALARMed' when their small children are out of site at a picnic or camp-out.
.../New example:Look at this picture with a double image in it.
(my note: its a pencil drawing of a bunch of lines that 'appears' to be a woman in a fur-coat looking behind her sholder, but all the extra lines in the picture suggest it 'cood-be' or 'contain' a picture of somthing else.)
.../What if you saw an older woman in it, and i saw a younger woman? what if eye told you that you were wrong when you tried to show me the image of the older-woman? wood not you think i was unfair? You may think eye was unwilling to.learn.How.you looked at things.(wtd)
.../Thats exactly what goes on between man and woman. shows resistance to what she sees, fails to see important issues she sees. resists any attemp to change how a man looks at himself.(check).../if we.take.the.time.to listen and 'see' the other subject in our lives, we can use this understanding to avoid problems. quickly see the reason for problems, solve them, a powerful tool in building relationships.(check) as well as seeing into the hearts of others...(more at chapter fourteen)
;;A Matter of Seeing into The Heart.;
(.try to 'sum' each page...cuz im tired of typing.feeling.this.)
she says:HE bad-mouthed my mother! he says:What a Liar you ARE! i said:you both told me the situation, but from two-different view-points. The man was irritated by the distactions the women were making about dinner being ready, he was watching a game...till finaly he said: we shood have stayd home and not come to your mothers...i cant hear the game. note:the woman wanted appreciation for getting dinner ready. the man wanted to finish his 'task'.
.../each was providing a picture of the situation, what was the wife looking at in the picture of his life? why did he say they were 'nagging'? He was seeing what happened in chronolgical order of sitting down to watch sports then talk then fite. But she was-seeing the emotions that were hurt as the 'first' thing that happened that day. thats why she said: first-thing he does when we get there is insult my mother. .../but he didt agree with the-way she expressed what she was seeing, therefore, to him, it was incorrect.He defineatly needed to learn how to die to himself, be willing to see what others were seeing. and prefer others first.
;;Attitudes most important;
when she is talking about you...she usually wants you to.see.the.attitudes. you are showing. the exact order of events that brot the trouble, is not important to her. And since Gods concern is about attitudes, She is relecting His concern to you.../Men however do.not.watch.for attitudes, but for the mechanics of the situation.(.event.time.order,person.place.thing.fixture.). not as woman sees(friendlee-ness.concern.inquisitive.empathizing.attitude.)
order of events that actually happened is not important to her.
.../Looking at it only one way is a limited perspective, there are many morals to one story, many truths can be seen in one Bible verse.../when women speak of relationships, they usually stress attitude and emotions, men want to hear just the simple facts, thats telling our wives what we shood see and not see...God says its the mans duty to understand the wife, not wife the man. .../consider differences between what men and women see: Gal.5:22-23
:::Perspectives Of Women and MEn:::
Man will be 'XX' , woman will be 'OO'
OO:a deep violet soft velvet gown with delicate lace trim. XX:A dress!.(how much does it cost? OO:A precious cuddly soft warm little baby that is hungry or wet. XX:A kid!.(cant somebody keep that kid quiet?) OO:A sweet elderly grandma having a hard time crossing the street. XX:An old Lady!.(she is slowing me down.). OO:A Romantic dinner at home, dim-lee lit with candles, followed by sitting beside the fireplace, listening to soft music, and talking. XX:Mush!.(.i.cant see what im eating, and im missing the sports game.) OO:An enjoyable time window shopping together. XX:A waste of time!.(we wont even bartar anything.)
.../Insist.(ASK) that she help you see your poor attitudes and emotional weakness. Your wife will be drawn to you with deep deep love for you.(check) isnt that what you want from your wife?
;;Conveying Convictions;
when expressing his, he will end up in a big fite, feeling that she is fighting his convictions, when reely she is resisting the 'attitude' by which he displays them. .../example:deeply convicted that wives shood go fishing he says:YOU are going fishing wither you want to or not! tired or not. whereas he shood have helped her yesterday so she wood not be-tired to go today. and his attitude was wrong. she wood love to go if asked nice-lea.
.../jesu reinforced the serious impact of 'attitude' on what we do when he said:either make the tree good and the fruit good or else bad. Matt.12:33-37.../In addition he gave be-attitudes:MAtt.5:3-12 will make us much more 'receptive' when our wives remind us of attitudes and words that are demeening and hurtful.../An no time is attitude more important than when in bed, selfeshness, men, and the sex to come.
::::Chapter Thirteen::::
;;Im Just Weird;
married to one of those women that dosnt seem to have a sex-drive?.(chemical-stimulations.). i was puzzled by this, the true reason, so i asked many questons, embarassing to us, are all women that way? she wood say:its just me thats so weird that way!. i wanted to ask them.i assured my wife i cood ask women questions.(over-shoot) without them knowing they gave me an answer.(check)
.../As eye sessioned marital problems, questions of sexual incompatiably often came up, threw these i cood collect data for my survey, as i set out to discover the true heart-felt opinion of women on this matter...with one wife i said:You Know you are not alone when it comes to being unmotivated sexualy. Some women have practically No sex-drive. As i listened for a response, woman everywhere almost always wood: tip their heads slightly to the left squint their eyes as if to say: How did you know that? As they were doing that, they'd say in astonishmetn.'Yeah, thats me! But i just assumed that eye was weird.'...thousands of woman told me the same thing. they all thot they were weird cuz they didnt measure-up to the sexual-expectations in their marriages.
.../another thing discovered was that they 'ARE' trying desperately to live-up-to 'others' sexual=expectations. These sources include:other women, rumors from men, movies, media, magazines. (check) women are so concerned about 'being seen as a failure' that they never tell each other nor their husbands, THE TRUTH about what they relly feel.(or why they feel it.) if they dont talk about it, then no one will find out how weird they are.
.../I believe a man shood purpose in his heart to understand his wife. contrast between men and women thinking. And a 'KEY' is recognize tha most men think women think about sex as mechanicaly.(visual stimulation?) as men do, and most women think men think of it at an emotional-level as women do.
;;An Attitude and Desire Check;
(eye did this with maydn once, why do i want to'Hump' her Rump? are you thinking about her needs? No. are you doing it cuz you love heR, or cuz you Love 'It'... i never thot of that. What duz she get out of it?. im shocked!.)
based intimacy on my own understanding, but how close was it to Gods understanding?.(he created sex.) What am i going to do without a standard? How do i Rate this time with my Mate.?...i had never asked myself these types of soul-searching questions.
.../Then came a Real powerful question:How Much am eye controled by this sensual-nature.that only wants what 'it' wants, in the bed. the answer is:compleetlee 'SOLd'out.Romans.7:14. iAm to control it, but lacked self-control. it reely disgusted me that the basic difference between me.and.a.dog. walking down the street, was the structure. Sexual instincts and urges were friteningly similar...
(my note:.i call it being in-tune.to gods creation.why wood God ask us to dress and keep and manage the Earth, without making sure we had a Real good heart-connection with it...somthing that made us feel its pain...but we also have a fallen-nature inside us...this cood get disgusting.)
.../A Lot of women, i discoverd,(check)(check)(check) feel disgusted by being sexually intimate with their husbands because they sense THAT.selfishness in them.(attitude.)Women have told me: While im having sex with my husband, i feel so'used'. I feel 'dirty'.(eye helped my man be selfish?) After He is finished and falls asleep, eye have to get up and go to the bathroom and throw.Up...because'i know'he duznt love me.(.her impressions of that moment:he made her feel unloved) We were not involved in an 'Act-of-Love'...it was an Act-of-Lust.' And husbands are blind to how this has affected their wives...
(.my shocked comment: Never Again. not in 'any' act. do eye want me and another person 'together' doing, what gives them the impression that this is all for me(.a selfish act.no thot of concern.) especially if its with my-Nerotic-cravings...what am i teaching that person? :that its okay to do somthing perverse with other people when it cood have bin done alone? without involving them in somthing they clearly sense has noooh thot for them.)
...wait.?.how duz that work?...Never Again..maydn help me to see this error. You did mention this problem in your 7-22-08 three-girl fantasy...that part that said:is he threw with her filthy ass?
here is the actual quote:
She cries out that she loves the earth
and the stars and her man made god. Her laces around his neck, she refuses
to let go even though he is through with her filthy ass. No love, for
respect is not love and sex is not love; or is it? (im glad it will be after this Ken Nair book.).He sets her feet back
on the ground and lets her cling to him as long as she does not feel
around him too much.(.balls to the wall.)
my reply: maiden im sorry you ever got 'that' impression of feeling 'filthy' 'used'...its not like men can 'see' what its doing. Eye was lucky enuff to sense this wrong. And then today discover it. share it. and seek your love and forgiveness and help to remove an-old-error between us that few ever escape...i told you! Our Tree House will be a sinfully happy place. removing the problems spots, one spot at a time...helps me fall that-much-more in-love...with you!...let this area that we all have 'used' to build=up resentment and hurt in the relationship...now be some-how turned for you maydn...into endless joy. to a time of intense love-building...as it was ment to bee...again, im sorry for dis-covering this spot of hurt, but if it can be change'd, and bring you deep pleasure... let me know your suggestions...cuz i love my queen...and she 'loves' a guy that try's to mud things miss-under-stood...so that her heart has 'freedom' to buzz buzz bee intense-lee beautiful-loved...like all women shood...but i will need your help with''that' part to...cuz i love loving you!...im just knotty that way...hoping it will hurt a womans heart...like it shood...but no-one gets to feel it...these days...and eye want to see change...see?...(eskimo-kiss))
I'm sorry if this is turning un-bee-Lee-vable...I have never heard of a Man trying to make things un-Bear-Ubble-Bee Romantic. and sexualy sizzling satisfying for-her on-her-own-levels of favour, flowers, fantasys, and relationships-dreams-of-what she never dare-d dream wood-cood cum true.
its just a thot i thot i better think...while im still holding you.
looking into the eyes.and.heart.of the most go-ferous girl on Earth.
i dont want to looz and looz and looz a little bit each day... building up resentment till she explodes one day, Our Loverly Honey Home duznt need it.
Eye want to win and win and win...(.little things that charge-her-Up!)
till she 'Implodes' with love...and gives me that un-forgive-able 'smile' only a maiden can give to a prince... the flower and smile wich says you won, and won, and won, my heart. <3 <3 <3
book continues...
Some women have 'tried' to tell their husbands HOW they feel. Every.TIME i have shared 'the-following' exchange people have said:do you have a tape-recorder in our house? it goes like this...
WIFE: You dont love me.
Husband: Yes, I do.
WIfe:No you dont, You just love my body.(im just a sex-object!)
Husband:WHat! Are you trying to tell me that you and your body are Two different persons?
Wife:Yes they Are!.
Husband: Oh, greeeat. Now I have to live with a woman who has gone insane.
.../cawt in this exchange, he dusnt understand what his wife is saying. and duznt 'try' to find out. he shows an interest in her body. not in her heart. worse yet... she is 'convinced'
;;Getting in Focus;
Wives have THREE KEY areas of need:
1.Her spiritualy uplifting needs, he can only do by'living' in keeping with Gods will...seeking to Honour him.
2.Her emotional needs, he can meet only if he has an understanding of emotions and illustrates.(most obvious by the wifes satisfaction).in emotional stability.
3.Her physical needs,caring for her as much more than a sexual-symbol. (.im thinking same needs as any baby girl\boy oR brother.since i can relate.and copy.)
.../wives have a natural sensitivity to things that can build up or destroy a relation ship.(.so.let her do things.).../beware that she duz not feel she need be subject to her husband in your sexual advances out of 'christian' duty.../Trying to discover Nancys 'true' desires introduced me to another concept: what are the 'Eff-ects' of sensuality on spirituality...(.how sex effects on our spirits.).Galatians 5:17.1peter.2:11,Galatians 6:7-8. to be carnaly minded 'IS' death.Romans.8:5-6.
.../I decided to let the Bible be the judge.(check)(check)between what is Gods design for Re-lation=ships, and what is Man-made ideas.2.Tim.3:16 this is true especially of people we consider to be 'professionals' physco'-logic-sists, and pastors, seeing that many of them do not 'consider' that human=standards are hi-lee offensive and destructive to the spirit of a woman.
;;A Higher Standard Needed;
Even Higher than the 'Sex-ologists' about what is best, and what is 'loving' proverbs 14:12, Samsons choice for a bride was sexualy motivated, Solomon also had the same problem, Even Paul the Apostle:romans.7:8,1.Thes.4:4-5, i made an agreement with my eyes 'NOT' to look lustfully at a girl.Job.31:1. Jesus said the true-struggle is in his heart:Matt.5:28.
.../i reached the conclusion that a man cood(ASK)standard of right from god, even threw his wife. any aspects of his sex and nature that were out of control, and causing damage\neglect to the relationship.
.../not uncommon for a wife to react negatively to a 'HUG' or Hugging by her husband as a meens of letting-her-know he wants to care for her. (.for most girls it has had wrong results.) Becuz she has bin so sexually offended by her husband that she duznt 'WANT' him to Hug her. (im not a huggy person, but i wish me and maydn cood 'fix' this too!) She is accustomed to hug that are starting to meen: Im moving in for Sex!, learn to show affections without intentions. else they she will think one must always come after the other. surprise her!
.../Also.(check) a man may think that'doing' things around th house mechanically shoud impress his wife. He canot imagin that exprsing an 'emotion' such as joyfulness wile 'doing' his tasks lets a wife 'know; that he is motivated by the hi-value he puts on 'her' happiness. result:She is not impressed by his mechanical performance.../it does not awaken romantic passions desires within a wife. so when he completes a task, and his wife says he dosnt love her, he'is' Astonished!(defensive.angry.makes it worse.)How canshesay i dont love her? i do all these things, i have not left her, im still here, am i not?
.../Ive said to men:THAT is a faulty form of evaluation.!(SAY) if 'being there' is a legitimate means of determining love, than the wagon or mud-home must reeeely love her! too. becuz its 'always there'.../men who mearure worth by 'things done' also try to generate greater sexual appetite in their wives to selfishly satisfy themselves.
(my word: yep. thats me! sort-of. eye try to do that to maydn...but eye always thot her health and kissing her heart wood leed to better sex...i knew this many moons ago...but how? im not sure...i think i love 'her'...but only when im not going 'crazy' over her body.)
Rare-lee do men try to'increase' their emotional capacity as a means of helping them.Identify.with.their wives and 'HER' emotional needs...(.mayden please help me do that. im begging and pleeding from my heart.).../even when a husband is being'offensive'(wtd) a wife may look-for-ways to become more sexually stimulated for him because'she knows' that is what he wants. she makes the effort, husband? you make this effort:How can eye be More Spiritually simulating! .../having that focus will benifit ALL areas of mans life, bringing'Balance' to his spirit,emotions, and physical health, and prevent him from being pre-occupied with sex, even passing opportunities without feeling cheated...( i guess you dont miss somthing you never had.) abstinnance for a period.(until winter?) can be much more meening-ful.
;;Woman Do Not Have A Sex-Drive.;
i have bin laying ground-work for an issue you may have never heard...over-shoot the question and (SAY)to women:Especially compared to men, women do not have a sex drive.../the primary trigger is'testosterone' in the blood is what gets men so 'fired' up. Everybody knows how pre-occupied and spellbound men can be that pertains with anything related to SEX. men have alot of 'testosterone', women have almost nothing. This fact is a relief to many women who thot they were fridged or Weird. i Add:No, your okay.
.../note when i say sex-drive: i meen difference in 'attitude' between men and women. im not talking about level of 'pleasure' both can have very strongly. Nor am i saying women can-not develop the 'capacity' for desire.
.../On occasion, women have said to me.(check) (check)im sorry to disagree with you, but i do have a strong sex-drive. I answer those women by saying: In the past, when women have told me that, i have made the following suggestion. There are many woman who never hear their husbands say'I LOVE YOU' There are husbands who never use Romantic words or expressions that tell their wives they are desirable. There are never any indications that they are interested in them at all as a person.(see public-library:modern slave-trade\definitions.) There are men who are never affectionate, who never gentely touch their wives. (wtd) there are no hugs, no holding, no kissises, except during sex...As these women were shown the difference between the act of sex and acts of affection....recognizing they can separate the two...they realized it was the attention...the acceptance, and the kindness that they wanted after all. IT Was Not The Sex! ...These women have concluded:In that case, i guess i dont have a sex drive. I Have a craving-for-loving-attention drive.(one of my favorite parts of this book.i hope maydn reads.)
.../A husband may think that it is the actual penetration that his wife likes, but it was not, it was the only time his wife got her husbands full attention.(that was the part making her happy.)
;;The difference Is Real.;
...between desire and drive.Gen.3:16..desire:a craving for value and acceptance as a wife-woman. a god-given desire to see her marriage work, despite the odds.../to further illistrate the 'testosterone' difference in a boy and in a girl consider this: if both lived in innocents...and the boy lost his clothes, the girl wood shreek(embarrased.ashamed.humiliated.) and run away. where as if the girl droped her clothes. the boy wood be nervous at the appearance of her figure, but also instantly aroused.../let me approach it from another angle: How many husbands punish their wives by denying them sex?
;;The difference in Preconcieved Notions.;
talking in class of relationships, A woman mentioned that 'when' she met different men she wood 'Fantasize' about them. (check) (check) ///:Geee, he has got a nice voice. He seems very pleasant. I wonder if he wood be a good father and a good conversationalist. If he were married and out with his wife, wood he pay attention to her and make her feel special? i wonder if he wood be pleasant to be with 'ALL' the time?
Fantasize...um..you dont know what men think women mean when you say 'Fantasize'...it meens somthing all-together different to a Man. It meens the thots of the man are exploring 'sexual' activities: frequency, variations, special showy girl-figures in positions, and involvment with them, and locations...
(my word:men want a body and nothing more...they are dead to things that reely count, attractive things that last long after old-age:.a girls spirit and heart..beauty...so they never think to feed it...stimulate.water.grow. special character-qualities.nor collect the possiblities of what it cood do.)
.../her face showed dicussed as she found out what men-thot that word:Fantasize meens...she reacted:YUCK!...NO!.Good grief, thats horrible!.../the men in the class-room all un-hesitantly re-assured her: Yep. thats exactly what we thot you ment by 'Fantasize'
;;Increase Desire?.;
men think to increase her drive, but without the needed spiritual care(which illustrates love), thats NOT what women think about, that ATTitude will actually de-grease a womans desire and pleasure., becoming more distant and rejecting opportunities that may present themselves. and mis-use Bible verses to get women to see their point..1.corinth.7...i cood never see christ forcing himself on anyone. so he got mad, cuz she sensed his primary interest was sexual.../to gain understanding i purposed to not approach my wife until she expressed an interest. And, boy, was i in for a long wait! we did volumes of talking. I gained tons of information.(on pleezing her!-Thanks Maydn.), and my wife learned that i did care about her more than her body. At the same time i learned what the difference is. If i did, You can too. God bless your efforts and commitment!
.../By now you may wonder if all this self-denial and wife-under-standing (lifting her up) is at all worth it...will it relly pay-off?. Yes, and well-beyond your relationship with your wife, as the next chapter will reveal. (wtd)
::::Chapter Fourteen::::
;;Impact On Other Relationships;
Okay, you say, i agree that if i listen more care-fully to my wife, thotfully minister to her spirit, and care for what is going on in her life, our relation=ship will be improved. but what diff.will it make in other relations? .../your asking duz christlike attitudes pay-off. arnt you? .../the first pay-off is a wonderfully improved relationship with Our Father in Heaven...(a prize worth the effort alone.).../intuitively, you and eye know that we do not live only in relationships with our wives.(maydn mentioned this, its not just about us.)
;;Improved In-Law Relationship.;
My mother-in-law has watched me mis-treat her daughter on many occassion, O-Ken will never change, but later glad of my change...after years of noticed results. a blessing for my efforts.
;;In the Office.;
does christlike sensitivity on the job have a positive(eternal) effect? My wife works at my job, eye cannot be two-people in front of her, one at work and one at home...(.wait..i disagree with that! maydn.for survival reasons...lots of soldiers kill and go home that night to play with their kids...thats historic record, not right, but true.)
.../in one case the boss was to fire an employee for no growth, instead, he questioned with him how he.(his boss) cood improove things:asking the employee:How are you feeling? What is happening in 'Your' life.(SAY) (CHECK) (its all about buzz-bee-attitudes.)...the boss came home all a-glow. eye went down to fire-a-guy and came back with a-more devoted employee.
.../one president of a company decided to make his associates'emotional health and personal growth his priority...any break-down in communications both wood be sent to the office where he wood say:I am more interested in your growth as a person than i am in your contribution to this company. And he wood take time to help them threw the problem relation-ship.
.../employees cood not believe their Ears!.(what happened to Mr.scrooge?) he wood say: i want you to hold me accountable. If you see me doing somthing you believe is hurting others or the company, come to my office and tell me...the resulting team-spirit increased productivity immensely...it was now 'our' work.(SAY).../Ministering to your associates spirits results in a tremendous improved atmosphere.(tree-houses) at any-level in companies, including evil corporate-giants.(who can afford to damage lives and invironment to'get-ahead') their positive response will surprise 'you'.
;;In Professional Life.;
pysicians who spent time 'connecting with patients' were less likely to get sued by there patients. My nurses say: you have relly changed. I am now enjoying a relationship with my staff that i never dreamed possible...so...un-normal.../everything has reely changed, even the girl at the chechout counter at the grocery store, he can tell when she has had a bad day, if her response is poor, he can change her reactions with a few comments. .../our waiter at the resturant was having a bad spirit, i said to her: (SAY).You know, knowing me, i wood not put it past me to have done somthing to have offended you. could you help me by telling me what it is?
.../She said: Huh? Oh. What? Huh? Oh, the guy that was at this table before you was a real jerk. Im sorry i came across that way. You shoodnt have to pay (national debt)for what he did.../.You see, if i accept responsibility.(check)(check) for 'Having' the capacity to offend people, I have taken the First-Step to improving relationships.
;;In Education.;
Q: This is a list of things i am going to tell my class they cannot do.
A: the first thing i wood do is throw it away, these kids are un-ruly. Theyd love to have a list of things to violate. You give them a list like that and they are going to have a field-day.
(my note: i knew based on this book what the solution wood be...i know Ken Nair now!...i wish i knew God like this...able to guess his way, cuz i know it so well by now...the answer to the kids is: im going to improove myself.not you kids...read on and see!)
A:If i were you,i responded,i wood get up in front of the class the first day of school.(.dont wait for a'Rut' to develop.) and after getting their attention.(.have a heart-attack their on the floor.) I wood say: God Wants me to 'bee' a better teacher.(.remember he is in a public school.) a better husband, and a better father. I woold be willing to enter an agreement with you somthing like this: You help me be a better teacher, and eye will teach you how to be better students.
.../we devised a test so we cood test 'HIM'. Each quarter the wood grade him on his character,attitude,emotional-connection with the kids.(be where they are.) and then let-Him-know how they had graded him.(shood he be fired or no?...kids love that option.).../a petite teen cood not believe what she was hearing! (note she is a wood-be wife someday too.) So he got to teach them(the school-board who loved what he had done.) about 'caring' for the kids'spirits, (check) having the kids help them become better teachers.../the honour may not come in worldly-recognition, but in improved relationships, which spread to many more hearts.
.../We can never forget that we have an enemy who is determined to prevent us from becoming christlike, so he is going to tempt us in various ways. But God lets us experience this, to deepen our faith, character, commitment, and love. thats what we will see in the next chapter.
::::Chapter Fifteen::::
;;The Acid Test Of Commitment to Christlikeness.;
The greatest stumbling Block to christlikeness is the (self)leshes creativity...it instantly develops all kinds of arguments, excuses, and reasons to resist dying.(.favoring others wishes, and not my own.) The flesh duz not have to be tot to protect itself, excused to prove 'IT' is not the problem is a natural reflex. The flesh is amazingly skillful at developing rabbit-trails that let us avoid the real issues, or justifying our behaviour when someone attempts to pointout its sinfulness.
.../irrisistable statements like:///Hey!nobodys perfect. And:im only human, to much is expected of me. And:That 'Your' interpretation. And:Yeah,but...and:how about Her? she has not got her act toghether either, when is someone going to straighten her out?. and:im not the only one around here that makes mistakes you know.
.../Freedom 'IS' a human demand. The typical guy (check) i talk to thinks that being 'free' meens not having to pass any tests or be accountable to anyone for anything. He thinks he is free when no one is telling him what to do, especially his wife. Its against the very nature of a man to submit to women, to have his fleshly nature exposed, to have his spiritual short-cumings highlighted. Th Bible says the way is narrow,hard, and few stay on it.
.../they realize the acid-test is commitment that 'perseveerz' despite extra humbling process of being 'held' accountable by God...threw there wives. and miss the overwelming blessing.(our tree-house?) of new and exciting realationships with their wives and children.(adopted?)
;;Life is Full of Tests.;
we shood not be surprised than that God has designed some for us., scripture shows that God constantly tested those he uses the most. Deut.8:2 What we perceive as punishment was actualy a test to reveal the condition of their heart to them-selves. testing Jobes loyalty. Luke.4:1-2, 22:42, The proof of Jesu commitment is the'durability' of His work...it remains tried and true. 1.cor.3:13-15 .../the fire will test and criticaly appraise the character and worth of the work each person has done...whatever survives. .../practical joyful results.James.1:12.
;;Testing has practical Purposes.;
tho distasteful they are beneficial. revealing our abilities 'AND' where we cood improove. Jer.12:5, (. none of the ingredient for corn bread are tasteful...but together they make a very nice surpise.Romans.8:28..../we are talking about: BE PREPARED..(check)...Know the difference.Luke.16:11, rite-lee devide the time you have left.2.Tim.2:15.
;;Pre-qualified in The Home.;
immense need.for.workers.in the field of 'crumbling'relationships and marriages...the home is the training ground for such character. to be qualified to lead others. Learning response to the pressures of laying down our live for our wives...and expecting 'nothing' in return....will also prepare us for having no expectations from others when we serve them.(check)
And whatsoever ye do...do it to the Lord.Col.3:23-24
.../paul said a servant had no rites, he cood be bot or sold, Jesus is the lord, and iAm the servant. So I make the following transfer: I am the servant and everyone else represents Jesus.(especially my wife.) As a servant iAm more willing to make the preference of others more important than my own. Now i can be happy and excited about whay i do for others(even my wife.) even if i never get to work on my preferences, becus its just as if im doing it for Jesus..
.../(ASK) is what im about to do violate the words of God? Eph.5:25. Laying aside our own wishes and desires is very difficuly when we determine to serve others. That is to be expected. but woodnt it be wonderful if we got to the point of not feeling cheeted, insecure, or threatened, when others are not seeking to meet our needs, and we can keep rite on serving them.
(my note:charles dikens said there was a strange 'security' in 'giving'. that riches and 'having' cood never offer.)
;;Testing For a Servant Attitude.;
Lets get 'practical' about this testing stuff! Lets say you are going to Paint 'owl's Tree-House white with a yellow Trim. But Maydn wants it to be Yellow with a white trim. Keeping in mind doing dishes unto Jesus...who are you going to let choose the color?.../let me make a point, do not think 'presenting' all these godly principles and attitudes meens eye illustrate them around 'my' house, eye do not. yet every-place eye do not re-spond, im wrong, i loose somthing very special i cood have added this day and to the Legacy of what kids find after me.../remembering iAm always going to fall-short of the glory i have cuz i belong to Jesu, it helps me to remember to lean on him. His wealth gives me worth, and he made me his inheiritance, i am greatful to have a Saviour, and lean on him in times when i REeely-see how 'short' iam of his expectations for this Tree-house. but he marries me anyway!...that is love. The possibility of gaining Joy in this is this: concentrate on One idea: I do NOT have to have my own Way. In most cases it wont make a noticeable difference if i do or do-not get my own way...the concept is:dying to self. How much? consider 'how much' a dead=man worries about getting his-own way...he has no need to please himself...does he? i do not mean the death of 'personality' i meen dying to self-lesh-ness.
.../Asking a man to give up his wants and worries makes you think i meen let Her have her way in everything.(check)(check) im asking a man to give up only personal-preferences.(True-Love book:negotiate things not needful.).not godly-convictions...and im not commanding it, only consider it. since the focus is 'laying down HIS life' it is an attitude of willingness.not force. just like Jesus:Matt.26:39.Acts.21:10...
.../will a wife grow selfish(spoiled) cuz of all this? Eph.5:25-27...laying down his life will present his wife 'holy'...not 'spoiled'...thats not my promise...that is Gods promise.(check)
.../it will catch on, gorgeous-lee attitudes spread like waves:Luke.6:38, Matt.6:33. That knowledge will give me a 'burded' for others to 'Have' that bleesssing. you can not 'Love' what you have not 'Lost' first. cuz you can not 'love' what you never had. 1.Have it. 2.Loose it. 3.Value it!...
.../After ALLL this time! most men reeding this book are still thinking:Boy, i hope all this preferencial treatment gets Her to REward me with more sexual-intimacy. ...Seeesh! talk about a one-track mind...thats men for you! (the Man typing this even has to agree...hehe.) But We are talking about the motivation 'For' unselfish giving. (.no expectations.of somthing in return.)...this book is not about finding ways to get-more-in-return. Its a call to the 'Giver' to check his heart. And make it so pure. That he can continue to be a 'True' Giver. no strings attached....the Real sir Loverly that people need to Bear-Bee.
;;The Test of Keeping your Wife Incouraged.;
find it easier to encourage anybody other than my wife.(cuz im always with her...she puts up with the-real me...its also easier to get-away from anybody else...but not her...becuz of the heart-cords.) .../Relationships with your wife is the Key testing-grounds God uses to reveal your self, tests come Hot and Heavy some times...but god promises 1.Cor.10:13.../an example is coming home from heavy working, the last thing you want-to-do is 'cheer' somebody else up.(thank-you so much maydn.)...You will fail the test if you let her know she does not have the freedom to unload her burdens on you....helping you to become a worthy Leader.
.../Prayer and understanding are the ways i can get rid of my desperation.(check) Write a Heart-diary: each page has:One thot for the day. One Prayer. One Bible Verse. you can be thinking of all day.../How come she (my wife) gets to be over-looked and eye dont?
1.im not saying 'who' gets to be over-loaded. im talking of who get to turn to who, for relief. Both men and women can turn to God. wives are designed to turn to their husbands.
2.Note again how protective and selfish your flesh is. It duz 'Not' Say; Okay, how wood christ want me to handle this situation...(close this book and find out how true it is...your not thinking.) ASK:How can i become more godly threw this experience.(with-christ...)(check).../what a privelege to represent christ to my wife!...that i accept the responibility of protecting and care-ing for her...(.my little lamb-ee.) God has given men a serious charge, more relations need an unchanging. real. until-death-do-us-part commitment by the husband to provide light in a broken-home and Tribe.
;;An Unbiblical Cop-Out.;
god is using my faults to teach my wife a lesson./// answer: No. god duznt 'Plan' to be tolerant of a husbands sins just to teach his wife to have a proper response. And you do not use scripture to show people you have no-control over personal un-christlike ways, that he is just an innocent pawn in the hand of God.(these are excuses i hear in my office endlesslee.) Or that he is being held back.(check)(check) from a deeper relationship with God becuz of his wifes immaturity.(.i dont want maydn to think that at all!.)
.../We can never blame our wives for our failures. Nor neglect our responsiblities as Husbands.(boy friends?) to be a christlike example. no-matter-what. to represent christ to a lost and dying world, and especially to our wives, is.TOO INTENSELY IMPORTANT. to even consider ways to avoid it.
.../by now i hope you have 'identified' with this book, and collected some 'warning signs' to watch out for...(.else your going to live-it...like most people do.)...to provide those 'less-than best'...or 'deeply-lacking' relationships. You may have avoided certain people.(maydn) all contact, becuz you cood not stand them. Just hearing of them brot back the bitterness you felt toward them.../if you can remember feelings like that, (check) (dash) Let 'THAT' memory help you understand how your wife may be feeling in any number of un-thotful attitudes.words.expressions.(or lack of it.) that may have hurt or damaged.(for life) her heart.Remember there is a difference between forgiveness, and feeling-free to let you back-in. Someone who has bin hurting her destroying her inner-most-self...a wife who has emotionaly and maybe even physically 'taken you out' of her life, will be fearful that you will trample on those tender feelings that she has hidden deep within herself.
(.my note:is that why maydn said:please do not hurt me.?? when we first chatted 'live' on the internet? i said:i wont hurt you, but i will pull your Hare if you get on my Nerves.!.)
She has bin trying to become 'immune' to your insensitive ways. (in that case we got lots of 'waking' up to do...honey-girl.) Sometimes it takes years before a wife will totally trust her husband again.
(.my note:maydn hopes im having 'Fun' with this book-typing, iAM!...i hope she values a man that puts so much time into finding ways to tenderize her heart...words she 'can' give to boys and say:HERE. here is how you do it...now Go!...and be sure you do not break a girls heart like boys have done to me.) (.Lost Trust.)
;;Dont Give Up Too Soon!.;
those adventures where the main-character has to cross a desert, and the Reader gets thrown into a panic cuz he just misses noticing the well or water-source that cood-have saved him...it makes a great story...but how do you think God feels when he see's you giving up...to Soon. Things look different...when your the one...watching the show.
.../A man may struggle a moon or a year, and then decide its time for his wife to 'recognize' the enormous progress(in his own eyes) that he has made. He may decide that it is time.(check) for his wife to stop hurting and see him as a different person now. The fact that he is red-ee-to-quit prooves he is not a different person yet...yes, he may be learning..BUT: Only a Wife can say when.(Or,If.)her husband has succesfully made her safe and loved.
(.when iAm mating and pleezzing maydn to tears...then i know eye must be doing somthing rite...the Honey-House is not Home nor Happy, till the queen is singing from her heart.)
(.i also...am gilty of thinking if i type enuff(enormous progress) that will somehow proove im...improving...but only her smile can say its all rite.)
;;Our Goal As Husbands.;
to be in-it for the long-haul.(.my boys.my bride.)...committed to under-standing and learning to meet their needs. Stick with-christ in behaviour, no matter how long it takes our wife to 'recognize' it. (note: you cannot make your wife 'see' anything. else its you and not her.) no matter how many sacrifices.../i certainly had times when i thot i had put out enuff effort to 'proov' that i cared.(wrong reasoning.) i thot it was about time i got more honor or relaxation or credit than i 'had' bin getting. I started feeling sorry for myself...(uh.oh...me.me.me.me!.) self-pity blinds the lights in the tree-house.2.cor.4:8-12...you have Gods spirit!.(christ invited into you.by bible-reading?.) which allows you to 'Visualize' what god intends for-you.to do.Psalms.116:10.we can say this because we believe it. i wood not tell others(this book) if i didnt believe it myself. .../God is compleetly commited to us.(thre Jesu.)LEt us learn what that reely meens and deepen our commitment to Him!.(a people for himself.)
(.my comment:greed and blindness:A man will sit rite-next to the fire-stove and open the window to let cold-air in cuz it 'feels' good. Meanwhile everyone else in the house.(not near a fire.) is freezing to death...they do that with time.materials.places.and people...just cuz of stupidity and greed...it makes all the other tree-houses in the woods a sorry-site also.)
;;Testimonies about Commitment.;
In conclusion, let me share some testimonies(.thats the Key.).from other men:
.../Not only did i teach and attend a great number of seminars for successful living, i had bin in full-time christian service ten years! i thot i had all the answers.(sounds like the one typing this...i need mayden, or im just stuck with facts and figures, and not any practice of applying these wonderful things.) Then somthing on the horizon made me see what i was 'parroting' to others had not helped me see my own need. My wife was attending a Ken Nair 'discovery seminar' fully intending to divorce me.../suddenly reality came crashing down all around me...i was doing nothing but consistantly abusing relationships...
.../A headmaster of a school shares his experience: I attended the 'Life Partners' Seminar.(notice mayden how all these 'Love-Cults' arize in Arizona.) I simply 'resented' that the whole focus was on 'ME'...the man. in fact, i cood make any one of my sins look as if it were 'HER' fault. (like adam did to Eve...nothing has changed.) God made her that way:GEN.3:16, get to understand her:1.peter.3:7, Gods way does work!
.../Av.Carpenter: I agreed to work so long as eye had time-off for my family, this position has not only helped me and my family, but made me very helpful to my employer.
.../A.SAles Representitive.:Our marriage had reached the point.(see time-line.) where my wife insisted we get outside help. This surprised me for i did not know we were having any problems. The change was difficult, very!. God continues to bring us all closer to eachother, and himself.
.../A.Pastor: God showed me the de-feciencies in my own marriage by these alarming and unusual words on 'understanding the mind of a woman.'
;;WHY WAIT?.;
Is your wife.(.girl-friend.) still putting-up with you/.? WHY WAIT? for your character to force her to leave the house! Too MAny wait till the wife has left them. (an outword show of somthing that had happened in her heart LONG ago.) This is not neccessary! so (check) why not start learning NOW! Let.Your.wife.Read.this.Book. And then give her the freedom to share her heart...(.eye hope maydn will.!.) with you so that the two of you more and more can become One.
.../If you decide to go-fer it. I 'KNOW' what is ahead. (trouble.) God will Bless.You.for becoming a Living testimoney of with-christ ness. A light in the darkness. God is Light. Light in his people. Light is attractive to people...You may be there proof that it is possible to be a conveyr-belt of Gods.light...May 'your' relationship be the proof that God is good. eliminating separations.(divorces)...the start...in the heart....2.Chron.16:9
.../Along with the prophets Samuel, you cood say: HERE I AM.LORD.. And then get ready.(.to give.)....cuz you can-not outgive GOD!...
-end-
-end of book- (.fffff-!-AMI-glad its over...cuz now...its my turn.)
:::ABOUT THE AUTHOR:::
Ken Nair has diciplined more than 500 men in how to be christlike husbands...all o fwhom have experienced a renewel in their marriages. He is the founder and president of Life Parteners, a deciple=ship ministry. He is also a seminar leader and maintains a private group counceling program in Phoenix Arizona, where he lives with his wife Nancy.
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Thanks to this great man dr oshogum who help me restore my love and achieve my heart desire emotionally.
i vicky will a medical doctor by profession I AM FROM AUSRALIA, have be single for the past 4 years after i lost my husband to another woman when i was three month pregnant of our third child and that time my house rent was one week to expire and there was no body to run to.
To me, having a man that will suit me, love me again and a man of enviable class was like a dream i can never achieve. But on July 30th 2013 when i meet the ANOINTED DR OSHOGUM on this site, i sent him a mail which consist of my problems.. he replied me with the necessary things he need me to do to help solve my problems with no effect. then i was very broke, there was no money with me to get the items but have to run to a friend who help me with the money. so, two days after the spell was cast off me behold my husband call me, he pleade for forgiveness. now i am healed by his power and i remarried to a well known man of my choice.
i stronly believe that, this is your time to testify, achieve all what you want and have the man or woman that you desire only with the help of DR oshogum
CONTACT HIM NOW VIA
oshogumspelltemple@live.com OR call him with +2348189075265
CONTACT HIM NOW VIA
oshogumspelltemple@live.com OR call him with +2348189075265
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